As a kid, I loved watching Peter Pan.
His antics were so funny and that carefree attitude of his?
It seemed like the perfect attitude to have when you can fly and live in a world with flying fairies and greedy pirates.
However fun it may seem in Neverland, it is not remotely funny for a man to have the Peter Pan syndrome in reality.
Unfortunately, some men display this syndrome.
A man who displays this syndrome is often referred to as a man-child.
Relationships are not simple happily ever afters…
However, a relationship with a man-child is even more exhausting.
A man-child is emotionally immature and unstable, and he often misbehaves.
If you want to know the telltale signs that you are dating a man-child, you are in the right place.
In this article, we will explore some of the telltale actions and behaviors of husbands who are men-children.
If Your Husband Does These 7 Things, He’s A Man-child
1. He lacks boundaries with his parents
In healthy families, there is a special bond that usually exists between parents and children.
This bond is strong.
However, there should be some boundaries put in place especially when the children begin to marry.
When there are no boundaries in place, it is not so uncommon to see issues and conflicts arising due to family interference in the marriage.
So, if your husband is still so tied to his mother’s apron string that he calls her to tell her everything that happens in the marriage, it is a sign that you are married to a man-child.
The unhealthy relationship usually starts in childhood and follows him to adulthood.
I know of a grown man who calls his mother the moment he has any slight conflict with his wife.
This is a sign of immaturity.
A man should be able to resolve conflicts effectively with his wife without the interference of third parties.
Now, the weirdest thing is that the mother doesn’t even attempt to resolve the conflicts.
Instead, she threatens the wife.
Such a relationship with parents or a parent is quite toxic to any marriage.
If your husband is so entangled in a relationship with his parents that basic boundaries that should have existed no longer exist, I am sorry to announce to you that you are married to a man-child.
He relies too much on his parents for emotional, social, and financial needs even when he is married.
This practically denies you the opportunity to support your husband and experience a wholesome marriage.
2. He can’t keep a job
We live in very uncertain times.
The job security that other generations have enjoyed is gradually being eroded.
With jobs evolving and machines doing more by the day, job security is not looking so great for many people.
Notwithstanding this fact, one of the signs of a truly mature man is the ability to keep a job.
It takes a lot of responsibility and discipline to hold down a job.
These are two characteristics that immature people don’t display.
Emotionally immature men commonly struggle with holding down jobs.
They have issues with absenteeism, work performance, and interpersonal relationships with coworkers.
If your husband almost always gets laid off from work after just a few months of working and never refuses to take responsibility for the actions that led to his dismissal, he is a man-child.
To emotionally immature men, everyone is at fault except them.
His boss just doesn’t like him or perhaps his boss is scared that he will take his place.
The fact remains that your husband always has a tale to tell to explain away such events.
He is comfortable living off you and his parents while doing nothing with his life.
3. He doesn’t help around the house
A man-child’s irresponsibility doesn’t just end at the workplace.
He usually brings it home.
An emotionally immature husband lacks the sense of responsibility that mature men have.
He doesn’t help out around the house.
Not with the little chores and definitely not with the bills.
He refuses to help with the dishes or cook a meal.
And God forbid, he touches the laundry or cleans up after himself.
I know many ladies have come to associate these traits with patriarchy.
However, it’s not patriarchy.
While patriarchy may relegate women to certain duties, it doesn’t relieve men of their responsibilities to their households.
Whenever a man shirks his responsibilities in the house, he is no longer being patriarchal.
Rather, he is being emotionally immature.
4. He doesn’t know how to take criticism
I know that some forms of criticism can rankle a man’s pride.
Especially those done destructively with insults.
I am not speaking of such forms of criticism.
In this context, I am referring to well-constructed criticisms aimed at promoting self-improvement and development.
One of the biggest symptoms of the Peter Pan syndrome is the reluctance to see anything wrong with you.
Growing up is not just a biological process.
It is a process of learning…
Learning from past mistakes and the lives of others and also learning to improve yourself constantly.
If your husband is extremely opposed to realizing that there are areas of his life that need improvement, it is a sign that he is a man-child.
He has an aversion to introspection and would rather avoid anything that makes him think.
When you try to make helpful suggestions, he usually sees them as an attack against his ego and becomes very defensive.
If you want to know if your husband is a manchild, observe how he reacts to honest corrections.
If he reacts aggressively, there you have your answer already.
5. He is unreliable
Growing up, I got so used to epileptic electric supply.
I felt it was like that everywhere in the world.
You can imagine my shock when I realized that people actually have an uninterrupted power supply in the world.
If your husband is unreliable like the electric supply I grew up with, there’s an issue somewhere.
Today, he is here for you and then he disappears for the next two weeks.
That’s not a healthy relationship dynamic.
If you can’t rely on your husband, who are you supposed to rely on?
I understand that you can build a very strong support system of friends and family but ideally, your husband should be a strong part of your support system.
Has he disappointed you so many times in the past that you no longer have even the slightest faith in him?
Does he prefer to hang out with friends or play video games to help you through tough times?
All these are signs of a man-child.
A mature husband always loves to be able to help his wife.
He takes pride in the fact that you come to him for help.
If your husband is unreliable, it is a sign that you are married to a man-child.
6. He panics at the thought of commitment
Now, this is a weird sign because he apparently agreed/ wanted to marry you, and what bigger commitment is there than marriage?
Be patient and follow my thread of logic.
Men marry for various reasons…
And some of those reasons are not the romantic or noble reasons you may expect.
Some men marry just because circumstances have forced them to.
So, a man may marry you because he impregnated you and can’t convince you to terminate the pregnancy.
He may also marry you because his parents want him to.
The fact is that a man-child freaks out at the thought of commitment.
He freaks out at the thought of having children.
This shouldn’t be a surprise; he is a man-child, after all.
He doesn’t like having to make plans for the future.
He just loves to wing things and see how it goes.
If your husband displays this unusual paranoia for commitments, he is a man-child.
7. He always has an excuse
I know I kinda mentioned this earlier…
But, we need to explore this in depth because this is the crowning sign of a man-child.
Your husband has been largely unreliable.
He acts irresponsibly a lot of the time, both at home and at work.
Now, the problem isn’t his irresponsibility.
The problem is he never takes responsibility for any of his terrible actions.
He always has an excuse.
There is always something or someone to blame for not performing his responsibilities.
Anyway, it is actually weird to expect someone who acts irresponsibly to take responsibility for their irresponsible actions.
There is always an excuse for why he didn’t go with you to the doctor’s appointment.
There’s always an excuse for why he comes home late with alcohol smelling on his breath.
His friends probably forced the alcohol down his throat…
He breaks a commitment with you but it’s not his fault.
Something just always comes up.
And if he eventually cheats on you, it’s not his fault…
She forced herself on him or you weren’t satisfying him.
There is always an excuse for the misbehaviors of a man-child.
Now that we have discussed the signs your husband is a man-child, I am sure you are wondering how to cope with a man-child husband.
Well, I have a little something for you.
Just stay with me…
The first thing you need to do is to ask yourself how you have been enabling his behavior.
If your husband consistently behaves like a man-child, the chances are you have been playing the role of a mother to him.
Do you want to take care of him and protect him?
Does he trigger your motherly instincts?
Here’s where you need to set a boundary.
You are a wife to him, not his mother.
While there may be times when you need to play both roles, you can’t always do it.
You may need to set clear boundaries in the relationship.
Boundaries on your time and the kind of tasks you have to do in the house.
The fact is that a relationship without this sort of boundaries will usually lead to you overworking yourself.
Couples should work together to keep the family going.
The effort shouldn’t be one-sided.
You may also need to restrict that instinct to mother your husband.
These are not really easy to do so you may need to seek help.
Seek help from counselors and therapists.
Your husband may find therapy sessions beneficial in discovering why he behaves the way he does and how to improve.
With both of you showing a desire to improve yourselves and your marriage, things are sure to get better.
Marriage to a man-child may be difficult but you can make it work by following.
Even a man-child can still grow when he can truly see the room for improvement.