So, you have a child or more for him, and you probably both still have to relate, even though you are not together.
I understand that there are different reasons why people do not end up with the father of their children.
Perhaps, the relationship didn’t work out, or there was never a relationship to start with.
It could be just a fling that unexpectedly produced a child.
In cases like this, it is not uncommon to discover that the baby’s Daddy may not be in love with the baby Mama and vice versa.
However, you may be cordial with each other to an extent.
You probably get along quite well with parenting such that you start to fall for him and wish you were actually together, so you could co-parent as a married couple.
Or you do not even seem to get along well with parenting together, and you wonder if he even loves you at all.
One of the most harrowing experiences a woman may go through is having to co-parent with a man who does not love her.
It is very unwise, however, to be in a relationship with your baby Daddy simply for the purpose of parenting.
In order not to hurt yourself, you need to know if the feeling is mutual, that is, if you are falling for him.
These obvious signs foretell that he does not love you:
8 Obvious Signs Your Baby Daddy Does Not Love You
1. He does not give you attention
You know your baby Daddy does not love you if he gives no attention and is not involved in your life.
He makes it evident that the only reason he has to deal with you is your child.
Therefore, you cannot have his attention except if it involves the child.
He does not know anything about what goes on in your life and does not show concern about your personal struggles.
2. He does not actively co-parent
Parenting is not a walk in the park.
It comes with a lot of stress which, if shared by both parents, would at least be more bearable.
However, if you observe that your Baby Daddy is unwilling to take some stress off you and, as such, does not care if the pressure is taking a toll on you, he definitely does not love you.
He probably even contributes to your stress.
3. He calls you names
How he addresses you during misunderstandings also indicates what he feels for you.
Your Baby Daddy is obviously not in love with you if he calls you names at every chance he gets.
With love comes honour and respect.
If he does not deal with you with either of these, he does not love you.
It shows that he does not care if he hurts you; your feelings mean nothing to him.
4. He belittles your efforts
If you observe that your efforts mean little or nothing to him and he ceaselessly demeans you and your efforts, he does not love you.
He magnifies his efforts and trivialises yours.
He does not even mind doing this in the presence of your child so he can make himself look like the better parent to the child.
This is often common with baby Daddies whose efforts and contributions are largely financial.
They tend to assume that what else the mother is doing is inconsequential compared to the money they bring.
5. He never seems to buy your ideas
No matter how reasonable and applicable your opinions about co-parenting are, he rarely entertains them.
By default, your opinions are dead on arrival.
This just shows that it is more often than not about you and not about the idea you bring.
6. He does not care for you during pregnancy and postpartum
Yes, how he treats you during and after pregnancy is so an indication of what he feels for you.
Pregnancy is not a piece of cake, and every woman requires a great level of care during this phase.
Not being together with your baby Daddy does not exempt him from the responsibility of caring for you during pregnancy; after all, it is his child.
There’s a native saying in this neck of woods: “The comfort of the tree is the comfort of the bird.”
In essence, your well-being as the child carrier is tied to that of the child you carry.
But if he does not bother, he clearly does not love you.
In the same vein, he may care for you in pregnancy out of the love for the unborn child, only to neglect you after pregnancy.
This indicates that all the care you got while pregnant was for the child’s sake, and now that the child is here, he couldn’t care less.
This is especially in a case where having a child means a lot to the man.
7. He is actively dating
If your baby Daddy is seeing other women, you might want to save yourself the stress of hoping to be with him.
Having a child with a woman is enough to provoke feelings in him for you if it were to happen.
So if he still seeks love somewhere else, it’s a sign that he does not see you beyond being the mother of his child.
8. He is not jealous
If your baby Daddy is not jealous of any other man he sees with you, it could mean that he has no feelings for you and does not in any way feel threatened by any masculine presence.
If love existed in the equation, there would be occasional displays of jealousy, overtly or subtly.
LAST THOUGHTS
Some mistakes cost us hugely than others, but what matters most is what and how we learn from them so we don’t find ourselves in bigger mistakes.
You probably regret having a child for someone who does not love you.
Nonetheless, it cannot be undone, so moving on with the hope of finding love elsewhere is the best thing to do.
If you observe any of the afore-discussed signs in your baby Daddy, allowing yourself to fall for him will only aggravate things.
Strive to make decisions that you will be proud of in the future.
Unrequited love is an exasperating experience you shouldn’t get yourself into.
Many distressed or even broken marriages today were due to unplanned pregnancies.
And it is not a surprise that such marriages are nothing to write home about, as there is no love to sustain the stormy seasons that may come along.
You cannot ignore all these signs and go along to be with your baby Daddy because of shame or what people will say.
Acknowledging that people will always talk will save you from making terrible decisions based on their perspectives.
This is because they do not care about you at the end of the day.
The society is not nice to single mothers; neither are they to divorced mothers.
So getting into a marriage that may lead to divorce does not save you from people’s wagging tongues, so seeking to please them at your expense is not the best.
You will find love in the right place with a lot of patience and self-awareness.
You do not have to lower your standards in exchange for some pseudo-love.