Okay, so what does it mean to be dickmatized?
Simply put, it’s when a woman becomes so infatuated with her partner’s sexual prowess that she loses sight of everything else in the relationship.
It’s like being under a spell; you can’t see any flaws and are willing to endure emotional pain just for a taste of that amazing sex.
I’ve written on the signs you are dickmatized in a relationship, and a lot of women can relate already, but today, I want to talk about why some women fall into this trap.
If you’re dickmatized and you want to break free, then you should know what led you here in the first place.
12 Eye-Opening Reasons Why Women Become Dickmatized in Relationships
1. Lack of Sexual Experience
There’s a saying in Yoruba land, where I come from: ”If a child has never been to another man’s farm, he would think his father’s farm is the biggest.”
That’s exactly what happens to some women who have little or no sexual experience before getting into a relationship.
They become so fixated on their partner’s sexual skills because they don’t have anything to compare it to.
Because they have limited sexual experience, when they finally meet someone who can satisfy them, they become addicted.
They are willing to put up with toxic behavior because the sex is so good, and they don’t know any better.
Anyways, as a Christian, I believe that sex should be reserved for marriage.
2. Fantasy Over Reality
It’s completely natural to have fantasies; they’re a part of our innate creativity and imagination.
However, when fantasies start to eclipse reality, especially in a relationship, that’s problema.
Many women become dickmatized because they’re living in a fantasy world fueled by romance novels, movies, and unrealistic expectations.
They fixate on the euphoric highs that good sex brings, mistaking them for genuine emotional connection and love.
This fantastical view of the relationship makes it easier for them to overlook red flags and toxic behaviors because they’re blinded by their own fantasy.
3. Low Self-Esteem
Women with low self-esteem are more likely to become dickmatized in a relationship because they don’t believe they deserve anything better.
They have an inner voice that constantly tells them that they’re not good enough and that no one else will want them.
So, when they find a partner who values them sexually, they cling to them for dear life.
They become so focused on the physical aspect of the relationship that they ignore or downplay any emotional pain or disrespect they may experience.
If you have low self-esteem, you’ll suffer in relationships, dears.
You’ll settle for the barest minimum because you think it’s all you deserve.
4. Fear of Being Alone
Another reason why women become dickmatized is the fear of being alone.
I get it; we all want to love and be loved, and loneliness can be scary.
So, when someone comes along who fulfills our sexual desires, we hold onto them tight because the thought of being alone is terrifying.
We ignore red flags and justify toxic behavior just to avoid being single again.
That’s why it’s beneficial to work on your own happiness and fulfillment before getting into a relationship.
When you learn to be alone, you’ll find it easier to let go of a relationship that doesn’t serve you, no matter how good in bed your partner may be.
5. Lack of Boundaries
For you to get to the level of being dickmatized, it means you have let go of all your boundaries.
You may have had strong values and principles before the relationship, but they all went out the window when sex entered the picture.
You’ve become so addicted to physical pleasure that you’re willing to compromise your values and self-respect on the altar of good sex.
You may have even tried to set boundaries in the past, but your partner has manipulated or guilted you into breaking them.
Without boundaries, you’ll continue to be dickmatized in relationships.
6. Unfulfilled Emotional Needs
Sex is not just a physical act; it’s also an emotional one.
It brings two people together in a unique way, and it’s easy to mistake that connection for genuine emotional intimacy.
But sex alone cannot fulfill all your emotional needs, and relying on it to do so will only lead to disappointment and heartache.
Because when your partner satisfies you sexually but falls short of meeting your other emotional needs, you may become dickmatized, trying to fill the void with amazing sex.
7. Dopamine
Let’s talk science for a moment.
When you have sex, your brain releases dopamine, the feel-good hormone.
It creates a sense of pleasure and reward, making you crave more of that experience.
So, when you have mind-blowing sex with someone, your brain associates that person with pleasure and rewards and wants to keep experiencing it.
This is why some women become addicted to their partner’s sexual prowess and end up staying in toxic relationships just for the sex.
It’s simple logic.
When someone makes you feel good, you want to keep them around.
It’s like a drug, and you can’t get enough of it despite knowing that they are not good for you.
So, you end up trying to fill the void with amazing sex, even though deep down inside, you know it’s not enough.
It becomes a cycle of pleasure and craving for more while neglecting other essential aspects of a healthy relationship.
8. Feeling Obligated
Some women may feel obligated to stay in a relationship because of societal pressure or expectations.
They may feel like they have to make it work, even if the sex is the only good thing about the relationship.
Like Nigerians say, ”At all at all na im bad pass’‘.
Meaning that even if something is not entirely good, it’s still better than having nothing at all.
9. Manipulation and Control
Now, let’s shift the focus from you and your feelings for a bit and talk about your partner.
Some men are aware of the power they hold over women through sex, and they will use it to control and manipulate their partners.
They know that if they can keep their partner addicted to them sexually, she’ll put up with anything else just to keep getting her fix.
It can start off innocently enough, with your partner showing extreme interest in your pleasure, which feels flattering and captivating.
However, this attentiveness can quickly morph into a tool for manipulation, where the sexual connection is used as leverage to control your actions, decisions, and even your thoughts.
Your partner may use sex as a reward or punishment, withholding it to get what they want or using it as a means of control in arguments.
This is a very serious issue.
You’ll see a woman considered strong, independent, intimidating, and confident melt into a docile, obedient, and submissive state when her sexual needs are being fulfilled.
Even she might become unrecognizable to herself.
Her loved ones might be wondering why she’s with a loser or a man who is not good for her.
If only they knew!
Believe me, whenever you see a woman who has refused to break up with a guy she shouldn’t be with, good sex is usually involved!
There, I said it.
10. Echoes of the Past
We are a product of our past.
Sometimes, the roots of becoming dickmatized in relationships trace back to unresolved issues from our past.
History silently shapes our present decisions and feelings without us fully realizing it.
Women who have experienced neglect, abandonment, or even trauma in their previous relationships or childhood may unconsciously seek out partners who provide intense sexual experiences as a way of filling those deep, unhealed wounds.
It’s a coping mechanism, really, even though it’s a temporary and often destructive one.
The highs that come with being dickmatized might momentarily distract from the pain of past scars, leading to a cycle that’s hard to break.
11. They Hope Their Partner Will Change
Hope is a good thing.
We can’t survive without hope.
It’s the promise of hope that makes us cope with each day and strive for a better future.
But when it comes to relationships, hope can sometimes be detrimental.
Many women fall into the trap of hoping that their partner will change.
They believe that with enough love, patience, and understanding, they can transform their partner into the perfect person they want them to be.
But the reality is people rarely change unless they want to change for themselves.
So, she ends up taking on the burden of trying to fix someone who may not even want to change or may not be capable of changing.
12. Lack of Self-Love
If you love sex more than you love yourself, it’s no surprise that you’re dickmatized.
If you love yourself, no joystick, no matter how good, can have you trapped.
Self-love is key in any relationship because it sets the standard for how we allow others to treat us.
I believe there might be more reasons women become dickmatized than we are yet to find out, but I am certain that for most women, these twelve reasons might account for their behavior.
If you can relate to any of these points, I hope you realize that it’s time to break free from the cycle of dickmatization and start prioritizing your own happiness.
Yes, good sex might be addictive, but is it worth sacrificing everything for?