Usually, affairs are supposed to be simple physical entanglements with someone else outside a committed relationship.
No strings attached, just a way of indulging fantasies or desires.
I must say this, though: some desires are not meant to be satisfied.
They are meant to be discarded in a trash can because that’s where they belong.
As entanglements come, affairs are supposed to be just as simple as any entanglement can ever be.
However, sometimes it becomes far more complicated because the man has fallen in love with his affair partner and is happier with her than with his wife.
Realizing that your husband is cheating can be a really hurtful experience.
However, realizing that he is actually happier with her, regardless of anything he tells you, is devastating, to say the least.
Yet, you need to know this so you don’t waste your time and energy planning a relationship comeback with a man who’d rather be with his mistress.
Here are some telltale signs to look out for.
7 Signs A Man Is Happier With His Mistress Than With His Wife
1. He spends more time with her
This one is a no-brainer.
If a man spends more time with another woman, it is a sign that he prefers her to you.
It’s just that simple.
Maybe it’s just her company that he loves, but the truth is that he still prefers something about her.
In the instances where I have seen married to two or more wives, I have realized that no matter how impartial they try to be, their preference for one of the wives will still show.
They usually show this by generally spending more time with her.
This is the same thing when a married man has a mistress.
If he consistently prioritizes seeing his mistress over spending time with his wife, he has probably built a deeper emotional connection with her.
I am a male, and I always prefer to spend time with someone who understands me and gives me peace of mind.
It’s pretty standard.
I am not saying you didn’t give him peace of mind, but if he believes that he has found happiness and peace with his mistress, he will spend more time with her.
2. He is emotionally available to her
A man who is happier with his mistress will be emotionally open to her.
The affair may have started as purely physical, but if he believes he is happier with her, he starts connecting with her on a deeper level.
He listens to her, supports, and empathizes with her struggles.
He doesn’t act this way with his wife.
He is usually brusque and uncaring with her.
His behavior with his mistress is usually in stark contrast to his interactions with his wife.
He is much more loving and understanding with his mistress.
3. He complains about his marriage
Every cheating married man complains about their marriage.
That isn’t something new.
It is their way of excusing their infidelity.
“Ooh, my wife doesn’t let me touch her.”
“I wish I had met you before I met my wife.”
These are examples of how men complain about their marriage to their mistresses just to excuse their acts of betrayal.
Sometimes, they may be telling the truth, but I still believe there are better ways to handle an unsuccessful marriage than cheating.
When a man frequently complains about his marriage to his mistress, he’s likely to be unhappy at home and happier with his mistress, and wants her to know how he feels.
4. He is affectionate with her
Most affairs are basically sexual affairs.
They may not really get into all the affectionate and romantic stuff together…
However, a sign that a man is beginning to view his mistress as his source of happiness is that he begins to express his affection for her in little physical gestures.
Holding hands with her, deep hugs for no reason, and just being there for her at the detriment of being there for his wife.
Most wives are probably not privy to what happens when their husbands are away with their mistresses, but if you know he’s cheating and he is still spending less time at home, he is happier with his mistress.
5. He plans for the future with her
Many cheating men promise to marry their mistresses.
It is one of the ways they keep single ladies committed to something as fickle as an affair.
For most of them, it’s just a ploy.
However, some married men actually mean it when they promise their mistresses marriage.
This is especially true if they don’t wait for her to talk to them about a commitment before mentioning it.
They just display a readiness to talk about settling down with their mistresses.
This still doesn’t mean much, so if you are a mistress, you should rethink your decisions.
If the man you love is in an unhappy marriage, it is best that you wait for him to exit that marriage before committing to any relationship.
6. He gives her gifts
Gifting is the major language of a man in love.
And I am not speaking about expensive gifts.
I am speaking about really thoughtful gifts.
Maybe a book from her favorite author, a card that reminds him of her, even jewellery that he has never bought for his wife, and many other thoughtful gifts from your husband to his mistress may be a sign that he is happier with her.
If a man frequently buys gifts or plans surprises for his mistress, it shows that he is invested in making her happy.
7. He communicates with her frequently
The world has been turned into one big global village by information and communication technology.
Communication has never been this easy in any other generation.
Sometimes, I wonder how the older generations enjoyed romance.
Letters took days or weeks to arrive, and there were no phones.
I can’t imagine life without video calls, phone calls whenever you want to hear your loved ones’ voices, and, of course, the ability to text at any time of the day.
Anyhow, technology is the best friend of a cheating man.
He hides his communication with his mistress from his wife.
Well, there is one sure thing: social media usage and communication patterns can explain much about what a married man does.
A man who is happier with his mistress might be more active in communicating with her through texts, calls, or social media interactions.
His constant communication with her is a sign that he loves talking to her and finds her exciting.
It shows an eagerness to stay connected.
And I can say that most men only want to stay connected to women who make them happy.
Seeing these signs in your relationship can be disheartening, especially if you have resolved to build your relationship together.
However hurt you may be, don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment.
You need to calmly process all that’s happening around you and ask your husband if he is still interested in building the relationship.
If he isn’t, you should be ready to take the next step, leaving a marriage that left you dissatisfied and hurt.
Even if he wants to, you still need to know that you have to make the best decision for your own well-being.
A little side note to the side chicks: in my life, I have seen many affairs that ended as affairs, but only very few that became marriages.
I haven’t even seen any that resulted in a successful marriage.
This shows you that the odds of you marrying that married man are really low.
Steer clear of such entanglements.
They never really end well.