You’ve been friends with him for a long time, but lately, you’ve noticed something different.
He seems more attentive, more interested, or more nervous around you.
He compliments you more often, texts you more frequently, and tries to make you laugh more.
You can’t help but wonder: “Is he falling for you?”
There’s one problem, though; he’s married.
He has a wife and a family.
He’s not supposed to have feelings for anyone else, let alone you.
So what does he do?
He fights them.
He tries to hide them, deny them, ignore them.
He hopes they will go away, but they don’t.
They only grow stronger.
How can you tell if a married man is fighting his feelings for you?
What are the signs that he’s struggling with his emotions, and what can you do about it?
In this article, we will explore some coded signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you.
7 Signs A Married Man Is Fighting His Feeling For You
1. He avoids you
A significant sign that a married man is fighting his feelings for you is that he seems to take any opportunity to avoid you.
A local Nigerian adage says, “You shouldn’t perceive the aroma of a meal you would rather not eat.”
What this means is that proximity to something you shouldn’t do will tempt you to do it.
The most likely reason for him avoiding you is that he is a good man, and he realizes that one of the most effective ways to resist feelings is by avoiding the object of your affection.
He doesn’t want to risk giving in to temptation, so you may notice that he tries his best to avoid close contact with you.
He may also find excuses to leave when you walk into the same room.
He does this because he considers avoiding you the least messy alternative to his other options.
When a married man you used to relate with well begins to avoid you, it may be a sign that he is developing feelings that he would rather not have for you.
2. He can’t just seem to decide on how to act around you
If you notice that he can’t seem to decide how to act around you, it may be because he is fighting his feelings for you.
It seems like he is having a hard time keeping himself in check.
So, on one hand, there is the fact that he likes you, so he may naturally be tempted to be close to you.
Sometimes, he responds to that urge to be close to you, and on those days, he makes you feel special and, perhaps, a little uncomfortable if you know his family.
He attempts to spend quality time with you and may suggest hangouts just to unwind.
On the other hand, his conscience tells him to stay away and remain with his family.
So, he is perpetually caught in a constant struggle with himself.
Sometimes, his feelings may have the upper hand.
On other days, his conscience wins.
This constant internal battle results in fluctuations in how he relates with you.
3. He makes sure you know he is married
A married man who is fighting his feelings for you would let you know he is married.
He may even mention this more than once.
There are many reasons for this.
One reason is that he wants you to know what you may be about to get into if you reciprocate his feelings for you.
Also, it’s like him attaching a “stay away from me” tag to his forehead.
He is letting you know he is unavailable, and you will be better off with someone else.
The last reason is the most common among married men who are fighting their feelings for a lady other than their wives.
He may be trying to remind himself that he is married and doesn’t want that to change, irrespective of how he feels about you.
It may seem like he is saying it to you.
In actuality, he is trying to remind himself that he is married and shouldn’t be having feelings for any other lady.
4. He tries too hard to act like a friend
In a bid to convince himself that his feelings for you are purely platonic, he may try too hard to act like a friend to you.
Or as anything he thinks you may need in your life.
Anything other than a romantic partner.
By doing this, he is trying his best to present himself as a harmless addition to your life.
So when he makes you feel special, he can say, “What are friends for?” without batting an eyelid.
When he does this, he is trying to tell you not to interpret his actions as anything other than friendly.
However, you know he doesn’t treat other girls the same way.
5. He tries to link you up with other men
Does he ever comment on how a guy he sees you with will be a good match for you?
It may seem confusing, but whenever a man who likes you does that, it could just mean that he is fighting feelings for you.
I will share a secret to buttress this point, something I haven’t even admitted to myself.
So, I have this friend I have feelings for…(I finally admit it to myself).
I keep telling her to get a man and even try to link her up with a few other friends who may be a good match for her.
One thing happens every time I link her up with an excellent match.
I feel an unpleasant twinge within me that this could be the person who finally sweeps her off her feet.
I know I have feelings for her, and I am still working up the courage to approach her.
My point is that men who are in love with someone they can’t or shouldn’t have will do their best to ensure they “end” the temptation by making the object of their affection fall in love with someone else.
He hopes that he can kill his feelings for you by doing this.
After all, if you are with another person, those feelings will have no other choice than to die a natural death.
6. He is a bit rude to you
You haven’t offended him before, yet he seems rude to you?
You may wonder why.
The actual reason may be that he is trying to push you away.
It doesn’t mean he finds you annoying; it could just be a way to protect himself from his feelings for you.
He is putting up a wall to keep you out and preserve his marriage, and if you care enough for him and his family, you will take the hint and cut him some slack.
He is just trying his best to do the right thing.
7. He doesn’t want to be alone with you
If he gets very uneasy and nervous around you, especially when you are alone, it is a sign that he is fighting his feelings for you.
He may try to sit as far away from you as possible to avoid any form of contact with you.
He may even be so reluctant to spend a few minutes alone with you that only an emergency can have the both of you alone in a room, and even then, he may stay so far away from you.
You may wonder what you have done to deserve to be treated like a pariah.
It is the opposite.
He is avoiding being alone with you because he doesn’t trust himself to control his feelings for you.
He may just end up blowing up everything he has built by spending a few minutes alone with you.
Hence, the frantic attempt to avoid you.
Seeing most of these signs in a married man clearly indicates that he is fighting his feelings for you.
You may wonder what to do in this situation.
The best thing to do is to avoid him and make it easier for him.
Feelings wear away with time, and he may soon be able to truly look at you as a friend.
Until then, you can stay away from him.
Engaging in an affair with a married man comes with a lot of trouble that you may not be prepared to deal with.
You deserve someone who will be totally dedicated to you.