Oh, how I hate being bored!
Boredom can be really annoying and even borderline frustrating.
I can deal with temporary moments of lack of fun and activity in my life, but when the boredom gets prolonged, I immediately have to do something about it because I hate being bored.
Boredom happens to the best of us in our daily lives; it’s nothing out of the ordinary.
Even in marriages, people can get bored.
However, it’s important to address it and take action, especially if it’s happening consistently or for a long period.
If a woman feels bored in her marriage, it can lead to a high level of dissatisfaction and even diminish the fun and bond in the marriage.
The woman and her husband need to be able to identify the signs of boredom and address it.
7 Signs A Woman Is Bored In Her Marriage
1. She’s always searching for excitement for herself
Boredom is simply the opposite of excitement and fun.
A bored wife will very likely always be in search of fun.
The inactivity and dull energy she feels about her marriage will put her on a quest to find excitement independently.
You may observe that she’s always in search of somewhere to go and something to do.
She hangs out with friends a lot, picks up new hobbies, spends an unhealthy amount of time on social media, or watches too many TV shows.
She does all of these things without involving her husband, too.
She might be subtly avoiding her husband and focusing on finding fun for herself.
Her marriage seems to have lost its excitement, so she’d rather spend time with other people than spend quality time with her man.
If these signs are present, they can be a strong indicator that the woman feels very bored in her marriage.
2. She tries to introduce new things to her husband
While some bored wives focus on finding excitement and fun for themselves from external sources, others choose to try to restore fun to their marriage.
If a woman is constantly suggesting fun activities, hangouts, outings, and events and trying to get her husband to join her in them, she may be trying to pass a message across.
She’s not just telling him about all those fun activities and events because she likes to talk.
She feels bored in the marriage and wants to spice things up.
Perhaps she’s suggesting new places for them to visit and eat out or new activities and styles for them to adopt in the bedroom.
Couples need to listen to each other and respond, especially in situations like this.
If her husband listens, it can help improve their bond, erase her boredom, and lead to a more enjoyable experience for both of them.
3. She loses her spark
Boredom can be subtle, but it can also be severe.
A woman experiencing serious boredom can begin to lose her vibrancy and spark.
Especially if she used to be a bubbly and exciting person.
I have a friend who has a very extroverted personality and loves to have fun.
She used to live in Lagos, a big city where the streets were fun, and there was always an event to attend.
She had quite an exciting life, hanging out with friends, going on dates, and so on.
But then she got married, and she and her husband moved to Kaduna—another state that is more conservative and not fast-paced like Lagos, which she’s used to.
After spending just a year in the new location, my friend’s life became monotonous and regimented, and she almost became a shadow of herself.
The next time I saw her, I was very surprised because she no longer had the spark and excitement I was used to seeing in her.
Her only source of fun and exposure was social media because her immediate environment was slow and boring, nothing close to what she’d been used to.
She and her husband also have very busy jobs, so there was very little time for fun.
Their intimate life was probably also suffering because her husband has conservative religious beliefs, which are contrary to those of my friend, so he may not do everything she wants to do while doing the do.
My friend’s drastic change made me see how boredom in marriage can reflect on a woman’s appearance and behavior.
4. She starts seeing someone else
There is no justifiable excuse for infidelity, but there are usually reasons for it, although sometimes unreasonable.
A woman cheating on her husband or flirting with other people can be a sign that she has an unexciting marriage.
Perhaps she feels dull and desperate and craves some attention.
So, she seeks validation from other people, whether it’s through flirting or excessive compliments.
She may start investing more of her time and effort into her appearance or fitness, possibly to regain a sense of excitement or confidence or to appeal to her newfound interests.
It’s a hunt for fun in her life.
Unfortunately, it often leads to more problems and complications in the marriage.
Because, in the end, cheating only brings temporary satisfaction and can cause long-lasting damage to a relationship.
It’s easy to get caught up in the thrill of something new and exciting, but it’s important to remember the commitment and trust that you have with your partner.
Cheating might seem like an easy way out, but it only adds fuel to the fire and can ultimately destroy what you have worked hard to build with your spouse.
5. She laments a lot
A woman who feels bored in her marriage may complain a lot.
It may seem like she’s going on and on about nothing, but if you pay close attention, you’ll notice a trend in her complaints.
She probably complains about being tired of the usual date night or weekend routines, or maybe she even resorts to comparison, talking about how exciting things are in other people’s marriages.
If she talks about the fun some other people seem to be having in their marriages, she may be hinting at a desire for more excitement in her own.
Some women may not compare but just express general feelings of restlessness or dissatisfaction with the state of the relationship.
Such complaints should be paid attention to because they may indicate a desire for change or improvement.
6. Her interest in intimacy and communication goes down
Another way you can easily tell that a woman is bored in her marriage is her reluctance to get involved in intimacy and other forms of bonding.
There’s no eagerness for intimacy and lovemaking because she believes it’s the same old boring routine.
Her husband may begin to see less interest in physical affection or intimacy, such as cuddling or kissing.
Communicating with her may become an unpleasant experience because it’ll be superficial or centered around mundane topics, lacking depth or emotional connection.
Some women even become easily irritated and frustrated.
They may snap at their husband over minor issues and get upset easily.
Even the kids may not be spared from their irritability.
This could indicate that she’s experiencing a high level of boredom, which is affecting her attitude toward the marriage.
7. She neglects household responsibilities
It may also be observed that the woman no longer wants to cooperate in the marriage.
She seems strangely lackadaisical and laid back on her responsibilities.
Even the things like responsibilities and chores that she’d usually do with joy and without hesitation, she’s now unwilling to do.
It could be that she’s simply tired of the good old cook, eat, laundry, take out the trash, do the dishes, talk about bills, rinse, and repeat.
She wants more and since she’s not getting it, she decided to forsake other things.
This is not a healthy way for her to express her dissatisfaction to her partner because he may not understand, and it can lead to fostering other unhealthy habits.
However, some women still choose to express their boredom in one of these ways.
The signs of a bored wife largely depend on the woman and the marriage dynamics.
However, whenever this or any other issue arises in a marriage, both parties should discuss it and seek ways to improve things.
A marriage is supposed to be exciting and fun, and I don’t mean it’s supposed to feel like a merry-go-round every day.
But it also shouldn’t feel like a funeral.
If you’re feeling bored in your marriage, communicate with your partner.
Set aside specific times each week to talk about any issues or concerns that may be causing boredom.
Also, try to find new activities or hobbies to do together as a couple.
This can help reignite the spark and bring excitement back into your relationship.
Marriage takes effort from both partners to keep things interesting and fulfilling.
Don’t let boredom become a reason for drifting apart or seeking attention elsewhere.
Olubunmi
Wednesday 15th of May 2024
Beautiful write up. What if a spouse has tried severally to bring up the spark in her marraige, talked about it, made moves yet no improvement on the part of the husband, will it be out of place to stop trying? No one wants to be seen as always talking about intimacy...but you know you are hurting when your husband is obviously detached and you see the emotional attachment he has with other ladies.