People usually think cheating is something that happens on the spur of the moment.
Like you just somehow find yourself in a hotel room, making love to someone else.
Cheaters especially love to talk about their cheating as an accident.
Well, I don’t buy that narrative at all.
Slipping on a slippery floor is an accident.
Spraining your ankles while running is an accident.
A lot of things can be classified as accidents, but cheating is definitely not one of them.
Too much planning goes into the process of cheating for it to be classified as an accident.
The actual truth is that anyone who has ever cheated on their partners has already made a decision to do so, either consciously or subconsciously.
Some people spend months and sometimes years considering the option of cheating on their partners.
While I have always maintained that every cheater has sole responsibility for his actions, spouses may sometimes wonder if there was something they could have done to prevent it.
Well, there is always the possibility of that.
This is why we are exploring the signs your husband is being tempted to cheat.
To give you the chance to avert a terrible event in your relationship.
Being able to spot the signs early enough may be what saves your marriage.
Let’s get started.
8 Signs Your Husband Is Being Tempted To Cheat
1. He is never satisfied by anything you do
The truth is you can never be able to satisfy your partner all the time.
So, you need to get that particular thought out of your head.
Sometimes, despite having the best intentions, you can’t satisfy your husband.
Now, one thing you must also note is that…
The first thing a man feels before cheating is a sense of dissatisfaction with his wife.
He can no longer get any sense of fulfillment from his marriage.
There may be many reasons for that.
Perhaps you have gotten too routine with him, or he may have just changed.
The fact remains that he doesn’t ever seem to be satisfied by anything you do.
He is always complaining and criticizing you.
He complains about your cooking, your dressing, and how you do things around the house.
He stops appreciating your efforts in the relationship because he believes other women do more for their husbands.
Dear wives, the moment you hear “other women do this better,” be alert.
The chances are your husband is beginning to set his sights on “another woman” who may have started convincing him that she can do things better than you.
If this is happening to you, you need to take note of his list of complaints.
Be honest with yourself as you review the complaints and look for areas to improve.
Sometimes, the complaints may just be an attempt to justify his thinking.
At other times, they may be real.
2. He is too conscious of his appearance
Don’t get me wrong, it is normal to want to look good.
Many men out there are conscious of their appearance just because they care about looking good.
So, don’t start suspecting your husband of cheating because he dresses well, especially if he has always behaved that way.
However, it can be an issue when the subject of his appearance becomes an obsession for your husband.
He is concerned about his looks and fretting about how to look better.
That’s not a positive sign because even if he possibly has some aspects of his appearance to work on, he shouldn’t be so fretful about it.
If he is so fretful about it, then that means there is something else he isn’t speaking about.
Chances are he has met a younger lady who seems to be giving him all the green light he requires to start a relationship, but he is also considering working on his physical shape and dressing to ensure he doesn’t look too odd with her.
Trust me, I have seen this happen several times before.
If your husband is suddenly so concerned about his appearance, it could be a sign that he is being motivated by something or someone.
And that “something or someone” is probably not you if he exhibits the next sign…
3. He compares you to another woman
I have always maintained that husbands comparing their wives to other people is a sign that they may cheat.
This is because comparison is usually a product of dissatisfaction.
Why do I say this?
When I was younger, I was always top of the class.
I didn’t see any need to compare myself to anyone because I was at the top and satisfied with my position.
Some years later, I faced several challenges, and suddenly, I was no longer topping my class.
I was no longer satisfied with my position, and I kept comparing myself to others.
One thing I have learned in life is that…
While comparison is a product of dissatisfaction, it doesn’t bring satisfaction.
Instead, it brings more dissatisfaction.
So, if your husband displays an unusual level of consciousness about his appearance and compares you to another woman, it is definitely a sign that you are not the one he is trying to impress.
He probably wants to impress the other woman he constantly compares you with.
When your husband is being tempted to cheat on you by another woman, he may start looking for those things he doesn’t see in you in her.
He becomes so critical of you that it seems like you can’t do anything better than how she does it.
If this is happening, it is a sign that your husband is either being tempted to cheat with her or is already cheating with her.
4. He is always on his phone
Well, the world has become a global village, all thanks to communication technology.
Among the benefits of this, we are also all now glued to our phones and laptops.
I had to spend four months without a phone or laptop once.
I felt like I was being tortured like a prisoner of war, and boredom was the major tool used in my torture.
The fact is we use our phones for most things…
Paying bills, texting and calling family and friends, receiving emails from work, and sometimes just subconsciously scrolling through social media timelines.
However, when a married man stays glued to his phone throughout the day, it is a sign that something is wrong.
If your husband’s phone suddenly becomes an appendage to his body, it is a sign that he could be involved in some funny activities on that phone.
He takes it with him everywhere, even to the toilet.
That’s suspicious, but it’s not enough to conclude that your husband is being tempted to cheat.
I am the same way with my phone, and I am not cheating.
It’s not like I have anyone to cheat on, though.
The major sign is that he usually seems preoccupied with important chats that make him smile and laugh.
When you ask who he is talking to, he usually responds with something vague like …
“A friend” or “just a colleague”…
This is a sign that he doesn’t want you to know who he is talking to.
While it may be nothing, secrecy is always a red flag in marriage.
5. He is increasingly secretive
Secrets have no place in a marriage.
When a man becomes secretive, it is a sign that something is wrong, and he is trying to hide it from you.
You remember how I said that your husband’s phone always being with him is not a conclusive sign that he is being tempted to cheat?
Well, here’s a conclusive one…
Your husband has taken to making calls in secret spots in the house.
Making calls in the toilet, bathroom, or even in a closet.
It seems weird, but I have made calls in a closet before.
I was younger and had a “girlfriend,” but I didn’t want my parents to know because I was avoiding being lectured on the virtues of focusing on bettering my life.
Most of my conversations with my “girlfriend” back then were done in the wardrobe.
Choi! The things I have done for “love.”
Secret calls by a married man are a foreboding omen of something terribly to come.
It is that proverbial “ill wind” that blows no one any good.
I remember one time a junior colleague of mine nearly fell into infidelity.
He was having several conversations with some ladies who were into him and totally ready to send nudes to him without him asking.
At first, it felt like a flex to him.
So, he didn’t put a stop to it.
He continued until he was having thoughts of commencing a full-blown affair.
He became secretive, started protecting his phone from his woman, and downloaded a secure vault app for his pictures.
Well, thankfully, he had the presence of mind to open up to me, and over time, we consistently worked together to deal with the issue.
Now, he is happy with his girlfriend and plans to propose to her soon.
If he is very cagey with his phone and other devices, keeping calls and texts secret and securing them with various layers of password protection, it is a sign that he is hiding something.
6. He stops initiating physical intimacy
When your husband stops initiating sex, it is a sign of terrible things to come.
It is a sign that he is no longer physically attracted to you.
That’s a problem.
A big one.
When a man no longer initiates things in the bedroom, one reason is that the spark is dead.
This is a dangerous situation because an average healthy man has sexual desires.
If your husband is not satisfying them at home, he is either satisfying them outside or planning to.
If there is a gross reduction or total absence of sexual intimacy in your marriage, it is a sign that your husband is being tempted to cheat.
7. He looks at other women
We all look at each other.
That’s what we have eyes for.
I have to specify this before you act irrationally like the man who beat his wife up just because she greeted a man.
However, you know how your husband looks at women when interested in them, right?
He used to look at you that way in the past.
Well, if your husband starts looking at ladies with interest in his eyes, it is a sign that he is being tempted to cheat, and he is seriously considering it.
He flirts openly with women but tells you he is just having harmless fun, and you believe him.
You sometimes may catch yourself wistfully thinking of when he had eyes for only you.
Now, it seems he has eyes for every other woman except you.
It is a sign that he is being tempted to cheat.
8. He threatens to cheat on you
I know it sounds crazy, but several men use the threat of cheating to keep their wives in line.
I know one particular man who uses the threat of cheating to make his wife get intimate with him even when she is tired.
There’s also another deadbeat husband who uses the threat of cheating to get money from his wife.
Well, he already cheats on her regularly.
The fact is that many men have threatened their wives with cheating, and many wives have been rather inclined to ignore the threat.
The truth is that when a man threatens you with something like this, it is because he has already seen opportunities to cheat.
He means it and probably is already attracted to another woman.
If you miss this “not-so-subtle” hint, then you may never be able to do something to stop him on time.
Seeing one of these signs in your marriage is a sign that something is wrong.
Seeing more than one of them is a gigantic red billboard flashing the words “Danger” in all capital letters.
However, you don’t need to panic even when seeing the danger.
All you need to do is to calm down and strategize.
Communication should always be your first resort when faced with issues in marriage.
Communicate with your husband and tell him how you feel without accusing him of anything.
This is important.
The last thing you want him to feel is “defensiveness.”
Ask him what’s wrong.
And ensure that you are amenable to change if you have been doing some things wrong in the marriage.
This discussion is actually what determines the next step to take.
Has he already cheated?
Is he just being tempted?
Is he still dismissing your feelings and insisting you are just insecure?
His answers to these questions will determine your next step.
You may be ready to forgive him for the first one.
You may be ready to reconnect with him and rebuild your marriage.
You may even be ready to believe that all the signs you have seen are figments of your imagination.
However, I would suggest you get professional help even as you deal with the issues in your marriage.
I will end this by restating a personal mantra…
In whatever decisions you make, prioritize your well-being because if you don’t care for yourself, no one will!