Usually, cheaters will have you think they cheated by accident, like it just happened, and they never meant for it to happen.
However, I believe that cheating is a decision that every cheater makes, either consciously or subconsciously.
It’s sad, but it’s the truth.
There is really nothing accidental about cheating.
It’s not like slipping on a banana peel and finding yourself in another woman’s arms.
It takes conscious decision-making and intentional planning to avoid detection.
While I always maintain that you are not responsible for your spouse’s decision to cheat, you may sometimes wonder if maybe you could have spotted the signs before they ever cheated on you.
This is exactly what this article aims to help you with.
We will be exploring the various signs your husband wants to cheat.
Knowing the signs may be what saves your marriage.
Let’s get right into it!
8 Signs Your Husband Wants To Cheat
1. He becomes suddenly very concerned about his appearance
It’s normal to want to look good.
I am not saying you should accuse your husband of cheating just because he dresses well and smells nice.
However, if your husband gets excessively obsessed with his appearance and spends time agonizing about his looks, it may just be a sign that something is off.
Recently, a friend’s father got very concerned about his appearance.
He would spend minutes studying his reflection in the mirror, combing what was left of his hair and griping about the bald spots.
He also seemed overly concerned about the paunch he had been developing for years.
Don’t get me wrong…
It’s normal to want to be fit regardless of your age.
But such an overnight change has to be very suspicious.
Well, I am using this example because, sadly, he cheated, and my friend caught him.
He couldn’t tell his mother the truth, so he just gave his father a talking-to, and as far as I know, the cheating ended that day.
If your husband suddenly becomes concerned about his appearance or changes many things about it, it could be a sign that he is trying to impress someone.
And that someone probably isn’t you, especially if he does this…
2. He is emotionally distant
Whether you have been having quarrels or you just subtly grew apart in that way, which is so common in many marriages, your husband is distant.
He treats you coldly.
In fact, most of his actions may seem like they are calculated to make you angry and hurt.
He wants you to feel so angry that you express it in destructive ways, and then he blames you for whatever happens in the relationship.
It is his way of making himself look like he is blameless in the marriage.
He wants to justify his impulse to cheat, so he deliberately picks fights with you.
He does this because he wants to be able to say you pushed him to cheat.
He wants to be able to cite those instances you refused to let him “make love to you” because you were angry at him.
He wants to be able to mention the times you were so resentful of him that you wouldn’t talk to him.
So, if he seems to be acting distant, cold, and mean around you, it may be his own way of making himself feel less guilty for considering cheating.
However, you should note that there are also many other reasons your husband may seem distant; some may not even have anything to do with you.
He may be under a load of stress at work or considering what to do about the family finances.
These are possibilities; however, if you feel like your husband constantly goes out of his way to be cold to you, it could be a sign that he wants to cheat.
3. He is overly critical of you
Nothing you do can satisfy your husband.
It almost seems like your husband is out to criticize you regardless of what you do.
He doesn’t seem to appreciate anything you do because, according to him, other people are even doing more for their husbands.
Your cooking never seems to be good enough.
He complains about everything and I know it is getting to you.
Well, that’s what he wants.
He wants you to feel resentful and angry.
He wants you lashing out at him so he can use that as an excuse to cheat on you.
When your husband is overly critical of you, it is a sign that he wants to cheat on you.
4. He compares you to a particular woman
There is really nothing sudden about cheating.
It is just the physical manifestation of something that has already been building up inside the man.
To even consider an affair with someone, you must have started feeling attracted to the person in ways that you shouldn’t.
For men, when this happens, they begin to look for those things they feel their wife isn’t doing well.
They are overly critical of their wives and feel like the other woman is an embodiment of all they could ever dream of.
If your husband doesn’t end it by just criticizing you but comparing you to a particular woman all the time, it is a sign that something is wrong.
Your husband is either attracted to the woman and toying with the idea of cheating on you or he is already cheating on you with her.
Either way, this is a noteworthy sign your husband wants to cheat on you.
5. He spends more time on his phone
We live in a digital world and to a great extent, every one of us is glued to our phones, either working or receiving messages from work, friends, family or just keeping up with the trends on social media.
But how long is too long to spend with your phone when you are married?
This is what we should be talking about.
For some husbands, their phones have become joint appendages to their bodies.
They take it everywhere even into the bathroom.
He always seems to be engaged in some important chats that usually bring smiles to his face and when you ask who he is talking to, he replies vaguely or defensively.
This is a telling sign that something he wouldn’t want you to know about is going on.
Perhaps the most telling sign is the cagey way he locks his phone when he sees you are interested in what he is doing.
The way he leaves his phone facedown or the fact that apps on his phone are password-protected are also signs that your husband either wants to cheat or is already cheating.
6. He no longer initiates sex
Sex is an important part of marriage, and even couples who have been married for many years still have sex.
I know how people say that emotional intimacy is much more important than physical intimacy.
I would say that both forms of intimacy work together to ensure a successful marriage.
When your husband stops initiating sex, it may be a sign that he no longer feels attracted to you.
This is quite dangerous in any marriage because everyone has sexual desires, and if your husband isn’t satisfying them at home, he is either satisfying them outside or planning to.
This reduction or total absence of intimacy and affection in the marriage may be a sign of a dangerous shift in affection for another woman.
7. He threatens to cheat on you
This may seem weird but I have seen it happen several times.
Some men use the threat of cheating to get what they want from their wives.
So, he says something like, “If you keep on rejecting me, I will get some sex outside.”
One part of you may be tempted to think that he doesn’t mean it; refuse to be tempted.
He actually means it; in fact, he probably has someone in mind already.
After all, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
Some men may however go at it more subtly.
If you are not paying attention to the things he says, you may miss the subtle hint in his words.
Actually, you are the only one in the best position to tell the difference in his words.
So never doubt that gut feeling that tells you something is wrong.
8. He looks at other women
Well, he is your husband and you know how he looks at women when he likes them.
Has your husband rediscovered his flair for flirting?
Does he flirt shamelessly with other women in your presence?
Even when he doesn’t flirt with other women, he may look at other women with interest.
These are signs that your husband wants to cheat.
If your husband can’t seem to look straight ahead without turning to look at the lady that just passed, red flag!
If he flirts with waitresses when he is supposed to be out with you, you can just imagine what he does when he is alone… Red flag!
When a man truly loves his wife and wants to stay loyal to her, he will have eyes for only her.
After all, the Yoruba people in Nigeria have a saying that effectively means that “if you won’t eat a meal, you shouldn’t perceive the aroma of its cooking”.
So, if your husband doesn’t plan on cheating, he wouldn’t be looking at other women.
Here you have it…
The signs that your husband wants to cheat on you.
Only one sign isn’t enough to tell you if your husband wants to cheat on you.
However, if you notice three or more of the signs above in your marriage, then it may just be conclusive that your husband wants to cheat on you.
What do you do if this is the case?
Communication is the best way to resolve most issues in a relationship…
So, communicate with him.
Do this without actually accusing him of anything.
Just speak about the actions you have noticed and ask him what is wrong.
Ensure that you are open to change if there are things you have been doing wrong in the marriage.
Really, it is the outcome of this conversation that will determine what your next step would be.
Has the infidelity occurred already?
Is he just still thinking of it?
Or does he outrightly deny that anything is wrong with the marriage?
His answers to these questions will determine your next step.
However, don’t forget that in whatever decisions you make, you prioritize your well-being.
I am rooting for you.