Intimacy is a major part of marriage; I cannot sugarcoat this.
It is so important that you do not wish to miss any aspect of this.
I was talking to my married friend some time ago, and she was telling me how much sex was and is an important part of marriage.
Nothing could have prepared me for that realization or confirmation from her because I assumed she and her husband to be very busy people.
Indeed they are and that doesn’t mean they don’t do it tired.
That is to tell you how much of a big deal it is.
I was shocked, to say the least, but also impressed.
It made me reflect on my own marriage, which was to happen at any moment, and how much importance I have to place on intimacy.
Also, she talked about some pointers that will show that my husband “enjoyed” the moment and also how to be good in bed.
She said some things, and I went on to read some more about them, which is how I came up with this list of 10 signs you’re good in bed.
10 Sure Signs You’re Good in Bed
1. You Communicate
You know how we always say communication is key in relationships?
I believe before you get married to someone, he must be someone you can have seamless communication with.
If you can communicate about everything and anything, the bedroom is not an exception too.
I am not talking about the pen and paper kind of communication, but the body language communication.
You know how to read your partner’s body cues and respond accordingly, making the experience more enjoyable for both of you.
If your partner is pulling you closer, making eye contact, or moaning, take that as a good sign.
You can take it further by asking your partner what they like and what makes them feel good, which will make the experience even better.
Just make sure everything is still within the heat of the moment and not turning into a clinical discussion.
Also, if it happens that you’ve both climaxed, you can ask and talk about the moment and how to make it better next time.
This shows you’re an open person and you want future encounters to be better.
If you can chair this conversation or not shy away from it, you’re good to go.
2. You’re Confident
There’s no talking about being good in bed in the absence of confidence.
If you feel secure in your body and comfortable exploring different boundaries, you’re already light-years ahead of many people.
To really show confidence in bed, you have to own it.
And how do you own it?
You are not afraid to moan and say things to your partner.
You move in different ways, trying to find the most pleasurable positioning for your partner.
You’re not hesitant to initiate something new.
If your partner also lets you shine in this confidence, you can be sure that you’re doing something right.
3. You Pay Attention to Perception
Personally, I think paying attention to perception is a critical part of being good in bed.
Perception is everything – it shapes the way you see yourself and how others see you.
When it comes to sex, perception plays a huge role in creating a pleasurable experience.
If you perceive yourself as sexy and desirable, your partner will most likely feel the same.
This isn’t just about the physical connection now and how you see yourself.
It is about how you mirror how you are seen by your spouse.
Do you focus on the experience, or do you get lost in your own head?
Are you always worried about how you look or what your spouse is thinking?
If you can learn to let go of your insecurities, focus on the moment, and enhance both your and your partner’s enjoyment then you’re good in bed.
4. You Know What Pleases You
Being good in bed isn’t just about pleasing your partner; it’s also about knowing how to please yourself.
It is a two-way street and that is why the first point on this list is communication.
If you know what turns you on and what feels good and you make sure your pleasure is also a priority, then you are on the right track.
You cannot expect your partner to fulfill all your needs if you haven’t communicated them or taken the time to explore and understand them yourself.
But if on the other hand, you already know your body and what gives you the pleasure that gets you there, your partner will appreciate you.
This understanding comes to only those who are good in bed.
After all, if you don’t understand yourself, how will another person understand you?
5. You Know How to Build Sexual Tension
One thing about intimate moments is that it’s not something you should just jump into.
It is not all about penetration and all of the ish ash.
It’s about the intentionality that goes into the preceding moments.
That is why if you know how to build sexual tension and set the mood, your partner will definitely feel it and appreciate it.
This is not even about the foreplay.
It is about building the expectations of your spouse through different means.
If you know how to do this, your partner will surely be grateful and feel desired by you, and it will show that you know your onions.
6. You Know How to Set The Mood
It’s not just about the performance itself; it’s also about how you set the mood.
You understand that foreplay is just as important as the act itself, if not more so.
You take the time to create a romantic ambiance.
Are there candles, soft music playing in the background, or massage oils within reach?
You know how to make your partner feel desired and wanted before even touching them.
If you make an effort like this, take your flowers.
7. You Take Your Time
I get it, life, especially married life with kids, can feel like a never-ending rush.
There’s always something to do and somewhere to be, and sometimes you end up racing through those intimate moments, too.
But if you find yourself taking time to explore your partner and all that there is to them in the bedroom, without rushing to please yourself, then you’re the don.
8. You’re Not Selfish
It takes two to tango, and being good in bed has a lot to do with how you treat your partner.
If all you care about is yourself and what turns you on, then there’s no room for a real connection.
But if you’re focused on making sure your partner is having just as much fun as you are, then that’s a sign you’re great.
Quality intimacy isn’t just about pleasing yourself; it’s also about pleasing your partner.
That means taking the time to understand what their body needs and what they like and then incorporating those things into your bedroom routine.
9. You’re Open to Trying New Things
Variety, they say, is the spice of life, and it’s also the spice of the bedroom.
To be really good in bed, you must be willing to break out of your comfort zone and give new things a try.
This doesn’t mean that you have to do something outrageous, but openness to exploring is always appreciated.
Maybe it’s a certain position, or perhaps trying out lingerie/costumes?
Or maybe even introducing new toys into the bedroom?
You don’t have to be an acrobat or a wild animal, but you can’t be doing the same thing every time and expect to have fun.
10. You Get Positive Feedback
If your partner goes out of their way to tell you how great you are in bed, then chances are, you’re pretty darn good.
Positive feedback from your partner is one of the easiest ways to know that you’re doing something right.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether or not your partner is enjoying themselves, so when they give you compliments about your performance, better believe them.
If any of these signs sound familiar, you’re good in bed.
And even if not all of them apply to you, there’s always room for improvement.
But regardless of your current skill level, the most important part is to enjoy yourself and have a good time.
Then, everything else will follow suit.
So next time you’re getting busy in the bedroom, remember these ten signs and keep trying your best.
Learning never ends.