A marriage is just as healthy and strong as the people in it.
Of course, staying happily married to a person is not easy.
It requires love, understanding, and a lot of restraints.
Both spouses are generally required to show selfless love and behave exceedingly maturely in their conduct to have a healthy and blissful marriage.
They say, “It takes two to tango.”
However, this article focuses on the husband in the marriage.
Often, the mark of a mature married man is shown not only by what he does for his wife but also by what he doesn’t do to his wife.
More often, evil deeds may seem more indelible and clear in a person’s memory than good deeds due to the power of negative acts to inflict pain in the heart.
Typically, humans easily forget good deeds.
Wrong deeds are capable of creating deeper wounds.
Hence, we focus on what a mature man should avoid in a marriage rather than what he should do to his wife.
However, we need first to understand what maturity means as it pertains to marriage.
What is maturity in marriage?
Maturity in marriage is the energy that is needed to sustain a healthy, loving, and long-lasting relationship.
To display maturity in marriage, a man must deeply understand himself and his wife.
There are different essential aspects of maturity in marriage, some of which include:
– Emotional Maturity
– Financial Maturity
– Social Maturity
– Sexual Maturity
– Spiritual Maturity
– Physical Maturity
Now, let us consider the different aspects of maturity viz-a-viz the things a mature husband must not do in a marriage.
6 Things Mature Men Don’t Do In A Marriage
1. He is not emotionally abusive
Abusive men are one of the kinds of men that self-aware ladies avoid marrying.
They are notorious for using manipulative means to get what they want from a relationship.
A married man is not expected to avoid conflict or suppress his feelings.
He should, however, not be abusive to his spouse in the course of doing that.
They do not hold grudges or dwell on the past misbehaviors of their spouses.
They also avoid shutting out or stampeding constructive criticisms and feedback from their wives.
While he expresses his feelings, he refrains from saying negative things to his wife in a rage of anger.
He does not make unrealistic demands or expectations of his spouse.
A married man who is found to be exhibiting the above-mentioned negative behaviors may be tagged as an emotionally immature husband.
He is not ignorant of the importance of emotional maturity in a marriage.
2. He does not prioritize money over his relationship
Of course, just as love is, money is also very important in a marriage, but it should not be the only thing he focuses on.
A financially mature man deems it crucial to prioritize his relationship, his health, and, of course, spirituality over money.
He does not use money to control or manipulate his wife or make her unreasonably economically dependent on him.
It is not in the habit of a mature man to spend beyond his means.
He saves for family projects.
He does not accumulate debt without a workable plan to repay it.
He is not secretive about his finances or makes financial decisions without his partner’s input.
A mature man does not consider disclosing his salary earnings and bank details with his wife unthinkable.
In addition, acquiring properties in secret or making secret investments is not a trait of maturity.
Life is grossly uncertain.
Secret assets and finances stand a risk of loss or mismanagement at the husband’s death.
A mature man does not expose his family to such financial risks.
A mature man is not deadbeat in his duties or financial responsibilities to his wife and the rest of the family.
He contributes meaningfully to the home’s financial obligations, regardless of his wife’s earnings.
It is true that money solves tons of problems and that gifts are capable of evoking passion and endearing a lover.
However, a mature man does not use money to make up for other marital commitments too often, particularly the commitment of intimacy and companionship.
He understands that money does not solve all the problems in marriage.
3. He does not engage in social behaviors that could harm his marriage
A socially mature man does not engage in social behavior that could harm his relationship, such as fighting, cheating, backbiting, fraud, etc.
Social maturity refers to building and maintaining healthy relationships with others.
A mature man will not be caught being judgmental or overly critical of his wife and even other people.
He does not manage conflict in an unhealthy way.
He does not shy away from social situations.
He does not avoid meaningful social interactions and relationships with others that could add value to his marriage.
He is not unreasonably withdrawn or reluctant to have new life experiences or try new things that may benefit him or improve his family’s lifestyle.
He is not self-centered and does not only focus on his own needs.
He is not excessively shy, and he does not refuse to make public social appearances with his wife.
He gets actively involved in the planning and execution of family dates and hangouts.
He is not overly shy to express love in words or gestures or praise his wife in public or when a third party is present.
He will not disrespect his wife in public.
He will not ostracize his wife from family members, colleagues, and friends or feel insecure about his wife’s relationship with such persons.
Every great marital relationship is built on respect and trust; this he understands.
4. He does not engage in behavior that disrespects or violates the sexual boundaries of his wife
Sexual maturity is communicating openly and honestly about sexual needs and desires. Sexual maturity is also an essential aspect of maturity in marriage.
A mature man does not engage in behavior that puts his sexual needs above his wife’s.
He also knows not to prioritize his gratification over their mutual sexual satisfaction as a couple.
A husband who prioritizes his sexual satisfaction over the couple’s mutual sexual pleasure may be considered sexually immature.
Sex is more rewarding and enjoyable in a marriage when the partners prioritize mutual pleasure over personal pleasure.
A mature man will not pressure his wife to do any sexual activity that the wife is uncomfortable with.
He will not engage in any sexual activity outside the relationship’s boundaries.
A sexually mature man will not be inconsiderate of his spouse’s needs and desires.
He is not intimidated by the beauty or bodily features of his wife.
He does not shame or disrespect his wife for high libido nor for initiating sex or making romantic gestures to him.
Finally, a sexually mature man will neither flirt with other women nor cheat on his wife.
He will not make inconsiderate moves that will make his wife feel sexually insecure or jealous of his relationship with other women.
5. He does not prioritize his spiritual life over his responsibilities to his family
In a marriage, spiritual maturity can help to create a deep and lasting bond between the parties.
Spiritual maturity is the ability to balance his yearnings to connect with God with his responsibilities in marriage.
However, a spiritually mature man does not use religion to control or manipulate others unreasonably.
He will not use religion to justify unkind or harmful behavior.
He will not neglect his personal spiritual growth. He will not hinge the sole responsibility for the family’s spiritual growth on the woman.
He will not use religion to avoid taking responsibility for his actions.
Finally, a mature man will not use religion to justify a lack of effort in his marriage or evade his obligations to his wife.
6. He does not act physically immature
Physical maturity, generally speaking, is a person’s ability to care for and maintain their physical health.
Physical maturity in marriage involves the ability of the husband to balance his physical health concerns, needs, stamina, or status with those of his wife.
A mature man does not use his physical strength to intimidate or harm his wife and family.
He does not body shame his wife.
He will not ignore his wife’s physical needs.
A man who refuses to use his physical strength to help and support his wife cannot be considered a mature husband.
A physically mature man does not act lazy when confronted with the responsibility of house chores.
He will not neglect or do anything to jeopardize his physical health and well-being.
Finally, a man who is violent or quick to stir physical strife and put himself in a violent situation or position that could cause him unreasonable physical risk cannot be regarded as a mature husband.
Although the above points are the general guidelines on things a mature man must avoid in a marriage, it is important to remember that every relationship is different.
What works for a couple may not work for another.
Thus, women’s yardstick for determining a mature man may vary.
However, the best way to be or remain a mature man in marriage is always to be open to learning and to adapt one’s behavior to meet the needs of one’s unique wife.