Love can make a person do crazy things.
That’s guaranteed.
However, sometimes we should be able to exercise some level of control over our desires.
As a lady (the same thing holds for men), you should never let your love for someone make you beg for their love.
It almost never ends well.
Love is not a negotiation.
It is not a contract that you have to beg a man to sign.
You should never beg a man to love you.
That’s an important rule.
Yet, many ladies ignore the rule when they think they “love” a guy.
“I love him too much. I can’t afford to lose him.”
I am sure you may have heard a lady say something along these lines before.
And because she thinks she can’t afford to lose him, she constantly pleads for scraps of affection from a man who is not just giving it freely.
I know the logic behind it.
You feel like you can’t be proud when you love someone.
Well, you can’t love someone without losing your dignity.
If you are ever tempted to swallow your pride, lower your standards, or make yourself out to be someone you are not to convince a man to love you, here are some things that will most likely happen…
And trust me, they are not positive things.
8 Things That Happen When You Beg A Man To Love You
1. You teach him that your love has no value
I think I must clarify something before moving forward.
Begging a man to love you is not the same as asking him out.
Men woo women all the time, and it is not begging.
Begging literally means to grovel for his love.
It means to totally trade your self-worth for his love.
If a man has to beg for love, too, he is doing the wrong thing.
The truth is that I understand the pain of being rejected by someone you love.
It feels like a part of you has been ripped out of you.
But the truth is that rejections are just a part of life.
You can feel the pain, but you should take it in your stride because the outcome when you beg is even more terrible.
When you beg a man to love you, you are sending a message that your love isn’t worth so much.
You are telling him that your love is something that can be taken for granted or even ignored.
You have confirmed that your love is so cheap that you will beg him to accept it.
Love is not a business deal that should be negotiated.
It should be reciprocated.
And if it is not, you need to leave him alone.
If he doesn’t recognize the value of your love now, he never will.
So, there is no point in trying to convince him.
“I know you will grow to love me. Just give me a trial.”
It’s not a business pitch.
If he doesn’t feel it’s right from the start, he will probably never.
If you beg him and he accepts, he will end up treating you so badly because he never recognized your true value.
2. He sees you as desperate
Begging a man for love is a move that reeks of desperation.
It is a sign that you are so desperate for love that you will do anything.
And desperation kills attraction.
One time, I had a friend who liked me.
I didn’t want a relationship, but I liked her and wanted to be her friend.
While we were being just friends, she started acting weird.
She was doing all sorts of things like calling me at all hours, locking the door to the room one day, and proceeding to strip in an attempt to seduce me, and even downright begging me to be her boyfriend.
Remember I said earlier that I wanted to be her friend?
At some point, the desire to be her friend disappeared.
All I had left for her was irritation.
I had to ask her to leave me alone, and the peace I felt when that happened was so great.
The truth is that a man who needs to be convinced to love you doesn’t love you.
He doesn’t truly want you.
He may have accepted after a lot of begging because he just enjoys the ego boost that comes from having a lady chase him.
The more you beg him, the less he respects you.
In fact, he probably tells his friends about you, and they laugh at you as if you were some joke.
Because begging a man for love makes you seem like a joke.
It is very immature and wrong to make jest of a person that way but you shouldn’t play into immature people’s hands by begging a man for love.
3. You become an emotional doormat
One thing ladies don’t think about when they beg for love is the fact that they are doing themselves a disservice.
Begging a man to love you is synonymous with denying yourself the kind of love you truly deserve.
The fact that you had to beg him to love you means he could actually treat you anyway, and you will accept his treatment of you.
You start tolerating disrespect, inconsistency, and bare minimum efforts from him because you are afraid to lose him.
You are afraid that if you complain about how he treats you, you may lose him.
The sad truth about it all is that you will most likely still lose him because you never truly had him in the first place.
It is a sad thing to look forward to, but the saddest thing is what is happening presently.
By begging him to love you and accepting the barest minimum from him, you have actually lost yourself.
That’s the greatest tragedy of all, and it all started when you started pleading for his love.
4. He is with you for convenience
One time, a guy mentioned that he didn’t love his girlfriend.
He said he was only keeping her around because he had no other choice presently.
The lady in question didn’t know that her boyfriend was only with her for convenience.
She was in love with him, and her feelings were clouding her judgment because every other person could see that her boyfriend had no feelings for her.
A man who doesn’t choose you willingly will only keep you around as a placeholder.
He will keep you as an option he falls back on when there are no alternatives.
So, you are the person he texts whenever no one else is answering his messages.
He doesn’t text you unless it is convenient for him.
He calls you only when he is lonely and has no other options.
You have become a last resort to him.
But the moment someone “better” comes along, he will ignore you.
You keep on making excuses for him to avoid confronting the truth.
You begged him to love you, and the fact that he is with you doesn’t mean he loves you.
It only shows that he considers you to be a convenient option for the time being.
It will be unrealistic to raise your hopes about being in a committed relationship with him because if he wanted to commit, you wouldn’t have had to beg him to love you.
5. The relationship affects your self-esteem
The truth is that begging a man to love you is a sign that your self-esteem is on a downward decline.
But if you think this is the lowest it can go, you are mistaken.
When you beg a man for love, you are setting yourself up to test the limits to which your self-esteem can descend.
Every ignored message, every canceled plan, every time you suppress your needs to keep him around, it chips away at your confidence.
You keep on trying to prove your love for him, but it just never happens.
He doesn’t acknowledge you except when it is convenient for him.
After some time, you may start wondering why it feels like you can never be enough for him.
But the actual truth is that you were never supposed to try to be enough for him.
He is the one who only does the barest minimum.
He is the one who isn’t enough for you.
The day you realize this truth is the day the relationship stops affecting your self-esteem.
That’s the day the “relationship” ends.
6. He takes you for granted
I have always mentioned that respect is earned in a relationship.
And sometimes, even when it is earned, you need to tell your partner how to treat you.
Don’t leave that to chance or expect him to have the good sense to not disrespect you.
Let there be clearly defined boundaries, so you don’t ever have to overlook any disrespectful action.
But when you beg for a relationship, you can’t start creating rules, can you?
So, you start tolerating his terrible actions towards you.
The more you tolerate half-hearted effort, the more he will give you just that.
Why would he step up when you have shown him you will accept the barest minimum from him?
If he wanted to treat you better, he would.
In fact, he wouldn’t need you to beg him to love you.
7. You waste time that you could have spent with someone who wants you
I think this is the saddest part for me.
All my life, I have seen ladies chase after guys who treat them terribly while the ones who love them just have to watch from the sidelines.
It happened to a girl several years back.
My friend was totally in love with her, but she was fixated on another guy.
She kept on trying to force herself on him, begging, cajoling, and coercing him to date her.
When he finally did, I think she experienced the worst relationship she had ever had.
Did she learn?
Nah, she didn’t.
She kept forcing herself on him.
At some point, she caught him cheating, and she broke up with him.
She told my friend she was done with the other guy, but needed some time before getting into a new relationship.
My guy finally thought he stood a chance until she went back to that other guy.
It was the last straw for my friend.
He moved on.
The other guy broke up with her later, and she came back to my friend. Things were still as they were.
Well, the ship had sailed.
While you are busy begging a man to love you, the right man could be out there, waiting for you.
In fact, sometimes, he is right there, talking about his feelings for you, but you are ignoring him because you are fixated on someone else.
He is the kind of guy who loves you altruistically, but you just won’t consider him.
Every second spent chasing the wrong person is a second stolen from your own happiness.
You could be spending that time with a man who loves you.
And even if you weren’t, I think being single is a lot better than being disrespected all the time.
8. You lose all your power in the relationship
Don’t get it twisted; a relationship is not a tussle for power.
That’s now what I mean by losing all your power in the relationship.
Love should be balanced.
It is a two-way street, after all, and both partners must learn to meet each other halfway to make things work.
In successful relationships, this is how things work.
However, when you beg a man for his love, you make your relationship one-sided.
He doesn’t put in any effort, while you put in too much effort.
You are the one constantly pleading, apologizing, or trying to “fix” things.
Hence, the relationship feels one-sided.
It feels like you are powerless to do anything in the relationship.
You can’t even demand the basic things you need because you lost your voice when you begged him to love you.
He holds all the cards, and you are left hoping he will finally choose you.
Well, you can’t afford to waste so much time building a relationship on false hopes.
This is the most important truth you need to hear.
If a man loves you, you won’t have to beg or try to convince him to love you.
He will choose you and show you how much he loves you without you begging for love.
You deserve a love that doesn’t leave you exhausted from trying to prove your worth.
So, if you are always bending over backward for a man who never tries to meet you halfway, you need to let him go.
The kind of love that comes with disrespect and loss of self-esteem is a toxic one.
Take a walk from that relationship today and position yourself for the love you truly deserve.
The results of such actions are almost never positive.