With the increasing rate of divorces, it is easy to believe that few people are in happy marriages.
While that may be true, the fact remains that there are still people who are happy in their marriages.
This doesn’t mean that their marriages have been smooth without any bumps.
It means they have been able to go through the tough times and become stronger.
Just the other day, I came across a tweet asking how people think happy wives behave.
There were several comments under.
Some people kept asserting that marriage was just a scam and another instrument patriarchy used to keep women subjugated.
Others answered with their varying perspectives of what happy wives do.
The fact is that happiness in marriage is not just a destination.
You don’t just get happy in marriage and remain happy without effort.
It is a journey of continuous effort.
Women who enjoy happy marriages usually follow certain principles and avoid behaviors that can negatively affect their relationships.
What are these behaviors?
Let’s find them out together!
9 Things Women Who Have Happy Marriages Never Do
1. They don’t seek validation outside or overshare on social media
Social media has brought a lot of benefits and quite a few issues.
I remember having to write essays in high school on the topic, “Social media has done more harm than good.”
The good old days…
I see people posting a lot on social media these days.
It feels like people no longer have private lives.
Their lives are on display all over their social media accounts.
In the “good old days,” it was just celebrities.
But now, everyone is a content creator.
Even in this era of oversharing on social media, women who have happy marriages usually resist the urge to overshare about their marriage.
They may speak on the subject of marriage from time to time, answering questions and giving candid advice on how to handle sticky situations in your marriage, but they won’t overshare.
They won’t tell their audience about private moments that should have stayed private.
This is because they don’t need to overshare so that everyone realizes they are happy in their marriage.
They are happy in their marriage, and the knowledge is all they need.
They don’t need validation from their social media following.
2. They don’t take their husbands for granted
Taking your spouse for granted in a relationship is usually a recipe for disaster.
Nothing good comes out of it.
Appreciation goes a long way in keeping a marriage happy.
Apart from the fact that it is normal to appreciate your spouse for his efforts in keeping the relationship successful, appreciation is also a way to ensure that your spouse continues to give his best to the relationship.
Appreciation makes a man feel seen and heard in his marriage.
It is a gesture of respect and gratitude that makes him realize that his efforts haven’t gone unnoticed.
Women who have happy marriages know this.
They don’t take their husbands for granted.
They appreciate the little things and express their gratitude regularly.
They appreciate their husbands verbally or through little gestures like thoughtful gifts or an appreciation note.
Regardless of how they choose to do it, women who have happy marriages are women who have developed a culture of always appreciating their husbands.
3. They don’t bad-mouth the marital institution
One way to know someone who isn’t having a happy marriage is to analyze their opinions of marriage.
One time, my male lecturer told me that marriage was just a cage.
He went on to say that if I wanted to be free, I needed to avoid it.
The man who told me this was married and had a daughter already older than twenty years…
So, I guess he has been married for more than twenty years.
Yet he had such a bleak outlook on marriage because of his experiences in marriage.
When I see married women saying negative things about marriage, I understand where they are coming from.
We can only truly speak from our experiences, and if your experience of something is bad, no one should expect good reviews from you.
Similarly, when a woman has a happy marriage, her experience will influence how she speaks about marriage.
Women who have happy marriages usually have good things to say about marriage.
They encourage you to marry once you have met the right person.
The fact that they speak glowingly about marriage doesn’t mean that they are glib about the realities of marriage.
They discuss the challenges that may arise in marriage and are optimistic that, with patience and determination, you can overcome those challenges, too.
The optimism and positivity separate them from women who are unhappy in their marriages.
4. They don’t compare their marriage to others
Comparing your marriage to others is a big trap.
Once you start doing this, you may discover that nothing your husband does satisfies you anymore.
He performs a beautiful gesture, and all you can think of is how another person’s husband would have done it better.
Women who have happy marriages know this and usually avoid this trap.
The urge to compare your life or marriage to others around you or on social media will come, but you must resist it if you don’t want to be unhappy.
Women who have happy marriages know that comparing your marriage to others usually leaves you with unrealistic expectations.
Unrealistic expectations can only result in perpetual dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Instead, women who have happy marriages are more focused on their marriages.
They choose to be satisfied with their marriage.
Although happy and satisfied, they are still dedicated to improving their relationship.
After all, there is always room for improvement.
5. They don’t hold grudges against their husbands
Even in the best relationships, couples still have issues.
Your husband can never be perfect.
So, despite all his efforts otherwise, he may hurt you unintentionally.
Forgiveness is an indispensable ingredient in relationships.
If you don’t know how to forgive your friends and partners when they offend you, you may find yourself alone and unloved because you have driven everyone who cares about you away.
One of the things women who have happy marriages don’t do is hold grudges against their husbands.
They know that holding on to past mistakes and grievances only builds up resentment, and over time, they may end up fighting their husbands constantly.
They have practical and effective conflict-resolution skills that help them address issues and resolve conflicts with their husbands.
In case you are wondering, they were not born with these skills.
They learn those skills to ensure their marriages are successful.
Women who are happily married are happy because they know how to move on from past hurts and disappointments in their relationships.
6. They don’t avoid difficult conversations
Every marriage has thorny issues that need to be dealt with.
Some people avoid having these conversations altogether to keep the peace.
However, in the long run, avoiding these conversations can cause far more terrible disruptions in the marriage.
Women who have happy marriages know this and don’t avoid difficult conversations.
Instead, they address issues head-on.
They don’t shy away from tough conversations.
Instead, they approach such conversations with calmness, honesty, a readiness to understand, and even compromise.
This is one of the most important things that keep their marriages happy and successful.
7. They don’t neglect intimacy
One thing I have realized in life is that people in happy marriages don’t play with intimacy.
They take intimacy very seriously.
A friend was telling me about her time staying with an elderly couple.
She said that they used to behave like young lovebirds.
Public display of affection…
Kisses, hugs, and holding of hands…
This couple was still enjoying their marriage far better than many younger people.
Intimacy is the life force of your relationship, and the moment you neglect it, you start seeing issues crop up in the relationship.
Intimacy doesn’t need to be just physical.
Emotional intimacy is also important.
Women who have happy marriages never neglect intimacy in their relationships.
They communicate with their husbands constantly, sharing their thoughts and dreams and building connections.
They also don’t neglect their husbands’ sexual needs.
There is no age limit to enjoying an intimate relationship with your husband.
So, don’t sell yourself short by neglecting intimacy if you want a happy marriage.
8. They don’t neglect their welfare
I know marriage is all about making sacrifices.
I also know that you may have heard that to have a wonderful marriage, you must be able to sacrifice your welfare for the marriage.
Well, that’s wrong.
Sacrificing is all good.
Everyone is required to sacrifice in relationships.
However, women who have happy marriages don’t sacrifice their entire well-being for the sake of their marriage.
That’s the wrong ideology.
Instead, they balance their needs with those of their husbands, ensuring that both of them feel fulfilled and satisfied.
If you neglect your well-being for your husband, you may feel bitter, resentful, and unfulfilled.
Over many past generations, women have had to sacrifice their dreams, goals, and welfare at the whim of their husbands.
I have noticed that these women mostly lived unfulfilled and unhappy lives.
You don’t need to offer yourself as a sacrifice when compromises can be made.
Women who have happy marriages know this and prioritize their well-being even while investing to make their marriages successful.
9. They don’t let external influences dictate their relationship
One of the greatest mistakes you can ever make is to let third parties interfere in your relationship.
I have seen couples make the same mistake over and over again…
And it has always affected their relationships negatively.
If you constantly share details about your marriage with others and even invite them to influence decision-making in your relationship, it is a recipe for disaster.
No one is asking you not to have a reliable support system, but don’t hand over the keys of your marriage to a total stranger.
Happy wives maintain clear boundaries with external influences.
They don’t let friends, family, or societal expectations dictate their relationship.
Instead, they make the best decisions for their marriage based on mutual agreement.
Ultimately, here are the things women who have happy marriages never do.
Avoiding these actions could be the best thing that ever happened in your relationship.
When you start building the habits of happy wives, you will discover that your marriage will get better.
You will enjoy a more peaceful and fulfilling marriage.