You may have noticed that you get attached to people easily, becoming a cause for concern.
It is normal for the random strangers you meet to eventually become important parts of your life.
Meeting people and forming great bonds with them if you both hit off right is normal but doing that with almost everyone is not.
You meet people randomly, and in no time, you have formed bonds with them and can not stop thinking about them.
If this sounds like you, it means you get attached easily, and you may ask yourself, ”Why do I get attached so easily?”.
Here are some reasons why people get attached easily:
”Why Do I Get Attached So Easily?”
1. Past Trauma
Of course, if you ask the question, “Why do I get attached so easily?” you cannot rule out the elephant in the room – past trauma.
This is usually the most common reason people easily get attached.
Most of the attributes you observe about yourself now as an adult are only an expression of your childhood and the experiences you have had in the past, and attachment issues are not an exception.
Some of the other reasons I will share today are also linked to past experiences.
If your ex, friends, or family have in time past abandoned you, it may have caused you to have some issues like abandonment issues.
This can manifest in different ways and one of the ways is by making you want to form a deep bond with many people.
You begin to hold on to relationships too much in a bid to keep them from forsaking you like others have done to you.
2. Insecurities
Another possible reason why you get attached so easily is that you are insecure.
Issues like inferiority complex and low self esteem can make you get attached to people too easily and too quickly.
Your insecurity may also reveal itself as the need to hold tightly to a person and prevent the person from getting close to other people because you are scared they will prioritize other people over you.
It may also be that you are so insecure that you need to seek validation from people to feel good about yourself.
Insecurities are another reason you find yourself becoming easily attached and desperately using people to fill up your emotional void.
Of course, everyone struggles with a bit of insecurity but when it becomes so severe to the point of getting easily attached to people, especially romantic partners, it’s not normal.
3. Childhood Experiences
Negative childhood experiences spill into virtually every part of our adult lives.
A child who grows up in a healthy environment with a positive and encouraging childhood, is more likely to form healthy attachments with others as an adult.
Meanwhile, a child who suffers neglect from caregivers or parents will grow with trauma and may become too attached to people.
This is a form of compensatory response aimed at making up for the emotional support they did not get growing up.
4. Previous Relationship(s)
Your quick attachment to people may be due to the fact that you need someone to fill the void your previous relationship left.
You may have recently experienced a breakup or been dumped by someone you thought you would spend your entire life with.
You are hurting and in need of love.
Subconsciously, you may respond to this need to fill a void by forming attachments too quickly.
5. Lack of Boundaries
Another possible reason why you are forming attachments with people too easily is that you do not understand or have failed to establish boundaries.
You know how you can be friends with someone for a while, and one day, they just stop talking to you?
And when you try to reach out to them, they’re like, “I’m just not interested in talking right now.”
Well, that’s because they have boundaries.
Maybe you’ve done something they are not comfortable with and they don’t hesitate to let you know.
This is why it’s so important for you to learn about boundaries and start building yours today.
Understanding boundaries makes you know that not everyone should be welcome to your personal space and also when people are no longer welcomed into your life.
If you fail to establish clear boundaries, you will not know how to define your relationships and distinguish between healthy and toxic relationships.
6. Lack Of Emotional Control
People who easily get attached many times, lack emotional regulation.
They are unable to control their emotions so they form attachments as a way to cope.
They may also be emotionally weak and always feel a need to depend on others to meet their emotional needs.
7. Fear Of Abandonment
Fear of Abandonment (FOA) is a very common reason our brains get attached to people, especially romantic partners.
The feeling of being abandoned is one of the most painful feelings you can experience.
It’s basically your brain telling you that you’re not safe, and it’s telling you to grab on tight to whatever you think will make you feel safe again.
So if you are afraid of getting abandoned, you will likely form attachments easily with people in a bid to avoid being left alone.
8. Lack of Self-Awareness
Some people form attachments easily without even realizing it or knowing why.
For such people, their lack of self-awareness will make them continue forming attachments with different people until they get hurt.
People who are not self aware do not take time to understand their own actions, motivations, and reasons.
9. Social Anxiety
When you have social anxiety, it’s hard to feel like you fit in anywhere.
You might find yourself feeling like a total outsider and be super-sensitive to any potential criticism or rejection.
This can make it hard to form lasting friendships and romantic relationships, but it also means that when someone tries to connect with you, you become very attached quickly.
The person who reaches out to you is probably offering an opportunity for connection that you rarely get, so the relationship feels like a lifeline.
10. Loneliness
Getting easily attached can be linked to loneliness and lack of support systems.
When a person lacks friends, family, and loved ones who support and welcome them, they are likely to form attachments with other people very fast.
11. Biology
You get attached easily because you’re a human being, so don’t be hard on yourself.
We’re social animals, and we have an innate desire to connect with other people and be accepted by them.
This is why we are so quick to form relationships with people and feel emotionally invested in them—because it feels good.
12. Society Or Culture
This time, it’s not just biology.
The society and culture we live in can mount subtle pressure on us to be attached to people, especially a love interest, quickly.
We’re bombarded by images of romantic relationships on TV, in movies, and even in advertising.
We’re told that being in love is the best thing ever, and we’re encouraged to find our special someone like all of these other people who have found theirs.
Our parents have probably told us about how amazing it is to be married, and with every wedding we attend, we get a little more convinced that it’s what we want for ourselves—and that it’s going to happen soon.
And then there’s the pressure of social media.
Everyone else seems to be getting married, having kids, traveling the world together, or enjoying some other relationship milestone that you’re not yet reaching.
Oh, let’s not forget about dating apps like Tinder and Bumble.
They make it easy to swipe through dozens of potential matches until you find someone who strikes your fancy.
So when you finally meet someone special whom you think might be “the one,” your brain might be inclined towards feeling attached because you’ve been conditioned over time by all these influences to feel this way.
13. Need For Control
While some people easily form attachments because they are emotionally weak and may end up getting controlled and manipulated, others form attachments because they want to be in control of other people.
People who have a need for control in their relationships form quick and fast bonds, trying to put the other person under them and gain control over them.
Final Words
Getting easily attached is something many people do and it is more common than you think.
While you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it, it is essential that you find out the reasons why you get attached easily, and learn how to set healthy boundaries going forward.
Not everyone should be close or attached to you and you shouldn’t be forming attachments with people who can not meet up.
Speaking with a therapist who specializes in attachment issues can teach you how to develop self-soothing skills and identify healthy ways of interacting with others while still maintaining your own sense of self.
Otherwise, you’ll keep getting hurt when people leave you.