10 Love Lies We Have Believed All Our Lives

When myths go on for a long time without being questioned, they become ‘truths’.

Yet, everything about life is all about beliefs. Your choices are a product of your beliefs.

There are many love myths we’ve believed for so long that we’ve come to regard as truths.

These love lies have caused many to make decisions that sabotaged their lives and relationships.

Below are ten lies we’ve been told about love, and the truth about them:

1. You or your heart cannot choose who you love

This is a big lie!

Just as you can choose what to eat and what not to eat, you can also choose who to give your love to.

Love is not among the things beyond our control.

You may not be able to resist being attracted spontaneously to someone, but you can choose to stop the attraction from turning into love, which involves a lot of commitment.

The belief that you can’t choose who you love is the reason some are trapped in an unrequited love.

Why will you open your heart to someone who hasn’t opened their heart to you?

You should love yourself too much for that.

 

2. First love is the strongest love

First love, second love or any other love does not qualify as the strongest love.

The strongest love is that which both partners invest all of themselves into – time, efforts, resources, etc. regardless of the position it occupies on your relationship list.

The strongest love is that which you intentionally work at.

 

3. There’s just one person made for you in the whole world

This is too narrow to be true.

Apart from you, there are over 7 billion people in the world. It is most unlikely that only one of those people is your soulmate.

 

4. Some people are made to give love and never receive love

This is not a fair statement. It says that some people can love others but can’t be loved in return, which is not right.

This lie has made many victims of abusive and toxic relationships.

As much as you can give love, you also have every right to be loved in return.

Don’t hesitate to walk away from any relationship where you’re not loved the way you deserve.

5. You can love someone so much that you can’t love anyone else

This is not love, it’s obsession.

Love is not obsession.

You should be able to let go when a relationship is not working for you and be able to open your heart to someone else.

If you can’t, you might need help. Obsession is an extreme that doesn’t augur well for you.

 

6. Sex is love

Just because you and your partner cannot keep your hands off each other doesn’t mean you both love each other or you’re meant to be together.

Sex is a form of pleasure that can be gotten within or outside love.

As such, sex is not a credible parameter to measure love. Qualities such as commitment, trust, respect, sacrifice, support, tolerance, etc. are better ways of knowing love.

However, this is not to say that sexual attraction isn’t an important component of love.

 

7. Good men are scarce, just settle for anyone

This lie has led many ladies into toxic relationships.

Good men are not scarce. You that should position yourself rightly for a good man to find you and also be smart enough not to be manipulated.

Remember, good men want good women too.

 

8. If you’re meant for each other, you’ll always end up together

Even if you’re meant for each other and you don’t work towards being together, your relationship will fail.

Except for those whose marriages were arranged, people who end up together are people who work towards ending up together!

 

9. Love is all it requires to make it work

A relationship requires more than love to work. Love is just the starting point for a relationship, but it becomes a firm foundation when time, effort, resources, commitment, responsibility, maturity, tolerance etc. are added to it.

 

10. If you really love someone, you can never fall in love with anyone else

Being in love with someone doesn’t mean you’re blind to others.

If you carelessly start getting close to someone else apart from your partner especially if the person is your spec, you’ll fall in love with them.

This is why love involves commitment, which is the decision to stick to one person amongst many others.

These are ten of the love myths we’ve believed for years.

Which one can you relate to and what other love lies do you think we’ve held on to for so long?

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