unrequited love
Love & Relationships

Unrequited Love: Why You Love Someone Who Doesn’t Love You

Falling in love with someone is such a beautiful experience because love is one of the amazing gifts of life.

However, love is much more beautiful if the feeling is mutual.

Nothing is as emotionally draining and frustrating as loving someone who doesn’t love you in return.

Unrequited love.

It hurts. So much.

unrequited love

Sometimes you wonder how and why anyone would love someone who doesn’t love them in return.




Truth is, apart from the fact that our hearts could play a fast one on us (because emotional matters are tricky), one MAJOR reason you’d keep loving someone who doesn’t love you in return is because

-you’re not in love with the way they treat you.

If you love someone who doesn’t love you in return, clearly they don’t treat you the way you’d love to be treated. They don’t see you the way you want them to see you. They don’t cherish you the way you’d love to.

So, why exactly would you keep loving them?

Usually, it’s because we are in love with their looks, what they have to offer, or we are plain desperate; thus, we are blinded by emotions thereby less concerned about how we are treated.

If you fall in love with the way someone treats you, you’ll never be a victim of unrequited love. You’ll love and care about yourself too much to let someone treat you lesser than you deserve.

You’ll value your love enough not to squander it on someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.




Don’t get me wrong.

I’m not saying you should fall in love with someone just because they’re nice to you even if you’re not physically attracted to them.

I’m saying you shouldn’t let yourself be miserable by pouring your love on someone who doesn’t have the capacity to reciprocate it.

Also, don’t let go of someone who treats you like the best thing since grilled chicken while wasting your emotions on someone who doesn’t share the same feelings with you.

If you’re in love with someone who doesn’t love you, ask yourself what exactly you’re in love with – looks, the idea of being in love, or the way you’re treated?

Otherwise, why would you be stuck in unrequited love, loving someone who doesn’t pay attention to your feelings?

What then can you do?

Believe that you have power over your emotions.

People usually say they can’t help their feelings, that they can’t help loving someone who doesn’t love them.

That’s one of the biggest lies you can ever tell yourself.

We are humans, not monsters, and that means we have power over our emotions.

Imagine a world where people cannot control their emotions.

Do you carry out all the impulsive thoughts that cross your mind? Do you give in to every emotion you feel?

No.

Then you can control the way you feel about someone.

How?

By changing how you think about them.




I learnt in Psychology class that our feelings are determined by our thoughts.

If you keep reminding yourself how the person you love doesn’t care about you, how they don’t love you, how it’s not dignifying to feel miserable for someone who doesn’t even love you, with time, your feelings about them would change.

So, don’t ever believe that you can’t stop loving someone when they don’t love you in return. Don’t ever accept that you are a helpless victim of unrequited love.

If you think you can’t help it, then you wouldn’t be able to help it.

You feel what you think. And you are what you think.

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