When a man and a woman decide to walk down the aisle, vowing to each other to spend the rest of their lives together as a married couple, and with no one else, the expectation they have of each other is to stick together come rain, come shine.
However, there are many shades of grey between black and white.
For some couples, one partner fails to stay true to the marital vows at some point.
And there are instances where the unfaithful partner feels justified to engage in an extramarital affair because they claim to be in love with the third party.
Could this be true?
Can extramarital affairs be true love?
If yes, how do you tell if the third party has become the true love of your life?
I believe that the probability that such can happen depends on the circumstances of the “before and during” the marriage.
Can Extramarital Affairs Be True Love?
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They are truthful about themselves, unlike your partner
Speaking of true love, if you discover some truths about your marriage partner which make you feel deceived or lured into marrying them, whereas you met someone open to you about themselves such that you now connect with them on a deeper level, you might just have met your true love.
Honesty and openness are strong values that keep a relationship healthy.
If you feel like you know your paramour way more than the person you are married to, and you now find a faithful companion in them, you are probably in love.
2. You can be your true self with them
The consequence of the previous point is that you can be yourself while with them, and vulnerability is not an issue with them.
You share with them your proud and embarrassing moments, and you do not feel pressured to be a certain way that you are not, while with them, your affair might have turned into true love.
3. You feel respected and valued
If you are in a marriage where your partner ceaselessly disrespects you at will, but you find respect in your affair, you may begin to feel love lies there and not at home.
Your affair partner values your opinion and treats you like an indispensable part of them, and if you enjoy how this makes you feel, you could start to desire something lasting with them.
4. You cannot stop thinking about them
A lot of extramarital affairs serve as a mere distraction that only lasts for the moment for the cheating partner.
In many cases, out of sight is out of mind for them.
Once they return to their legal partners, it is as though there is no one else.
However, if, in your case, you find it impossible to take them off your mind, and you always wish you were with them and doing life with them instead, there may be more to the affair than what it currently appears to be.
5. They make sacrifices for you
Your affair partner may go to the lengths that your legal partner may never bother to go for you.
They make sacrifices that could only be made by one’s lover.
You see them as your ‘ride or die.’
In a case like this, it is only a matter of time before love starts to set in.
Love and sacrifice are inseparable.
6. You no longer feel guilty
Most likely, at the inception of the affair used to feel guilty for cheating on the one you exchanged vows with, and you were ashamed of your deeds.
However, if, at some point, you begin to feel no remorse and you relish the emotions you have developed over time in the affair, it could be a sign that you are unashamedly in love.
And you might even no longer mind being caught.
For some cheating partners, the benefits of the affair outrival the fear of being caught and the guilt of stepping out of their marriage.
7. You are happier
If your affair makes you happy in a way that your partner never does and you smile more often, you may have been bitten by the love bug.
People in love often feel a heightened sense of joy and happiness and are more optimistic about life.
If you find yourself feeling excited, happy, and looking forward to the future whenever you think about your affair, chances are that you’re falling in love with them.
8. You make a better team
Possibly, your side lover understands you better, and you unanimously achieve great things together.
They complement you and are readily by your side in the face of challenges. You love the idea of building something together, and you feel hopeful.
When it comes to tackling problems, you are better off as a team than alone.
That’s a sign that your relationship is evolving beyond just physical attraction.
You have discovered common ground with them and want to be around them more often.
This may be a sign that you’re feeling better suited to be in a relationship with them.
9. You have no plans of letting go
You want the relationship to be more than just a fling.
You do not ever want to think of yourself without them
You do everything in your power to cherish them and treat them right so that you do not lose them.
This is a sign that cupid arrow is at work.
Some cheating spouses let go of their affair when they are caught, but if you are having none of that, it is a sign that your feelings are more than just physical.
You do not want to let go because you know what this person means to you.
10. You are faithful to them
I know what you are thinking right here!
Wait, let me explain what I mean.
Some extramarital affairs are with many people and, as such, suggest that such a person is a serial cheat.
However, if apart from your legal partner, you are only attracted to just one person, and you are exclusively dating them, it could mean that you only found what you lacked and you stuck with them.
LAST WORDS
Nothing that has been written so far invalidates the fact that cheating is socially and spiritually regarded as an immoral act; neither do they imply that I endorse cheating.
However, writing this for information purposes will help you make an informed decision about the realities of your life such that you do not live in confusion.
This is why we also write about red flags to watch out for in a relationship so that cases of infidelity can be proactively prevented.
Doing due diligence before signing the dotted lines cannot be overemphasized.
I often encourage people to carefully and patiently make choices that they will be proud of in the future.
Marriage is not a bed of roses, even for the perfect matches, let alone couples with irreconcilable differences.
No one wishes to be cheated on; it is not a good place to be.
Therefore, if love truly means what it should to you, it is advisable that you make decisions that favor not only you but also your partner to whom you promised a lifetime of commitment.
No matter what is happening in your marriage, extramarital affairs are never the answer!