It’s not unusual for a marriage to become stale after years of being together.
So when you meet someone who makes us feel alive and happy again after years of being married, you may feel that you have found your soulmate, and you don’t want to give that up.
Ending affairs when you are in love can be very difficult; however, continuing a relationship with your lover is not only dishonest and unfair to your partner, but also puts them at risk of contracting an STD or becoming pregnant.
If you need tips on ending affairs when you are in love, the following points will be helpful:
Ending Affairs When You Are in Love
1. Be honest with yourself
You might be able to fool others into thinking that nothing is wrong in your relationship, but if you continue lying to yourself about the appropriateness of your affair, it will be difficult to break things off.
It doesn’t matter what excuses you have for cheating. It is wrong.
If you are not having your needs met in a marriage, there are other ways to go about it apart from having an affair.
2. Identify your main reasons for ending things
It’s impossible to end an affair if you’re unsure why you want to end it.
So, be honest with yourself about why you want to end the affair.
Is it because you’re scared of getting caught or because it might cause problems between yourself and your partner?
Your reasons for ending things must be strong; otherwise, you’ll find it difficult to stick to your decision.
Identifying your reason for having an affair in the first place can help you figure out why you need to end things.
There are many reasons why people cheat, but they usually boil down to wanting more love and attention from their partner or feeling neglected by their spouse.
If you’re cheating because of a lack of attention from your partner, then you may want to work on improving the relationship at home before ending things with your affair partner.
You might want to end an affair if your spouse is now meeting your needs and you don’t need your affair partner anymore.
People also end affairs out of guilt, realizing that what they’re doing is wrong and feeling bad about cheating on their partner.
Just figure out why your affair needs to end, even though you are in love.
3. Start distancing yourself emotionally
Once you’ve decided that you want to end an affair, it’s important to start distancing yourself from your affair partner emotionally.
This means no more intimate conversations, no more shared secrets, and no more talking about your relationship.
It might be hard to do this, especially if you’re still physically involved with your affair partner, but it’s important to start distancing yourself emotionally to end things completely.
It’s easier to end a relationship when you have emotionally detached yourself from the person.
4. Talk to your affair partner about ending things
Once you’ve made the decision to end your affair, you need to sit down with your affair partner and talk about ending things.
This can be a difficult conversation, but it’s important to be honest with them about why you’re ending things.
Be clear that you still care about them but that continuing the affair is not an option.
Not everyone can handle the end of an affair well.
It may be easier for one person than the other, so prepare for some confrontation.
Many people avoid breaking up because they don’t want to deal with the confrontation that comes along with it.
But if you are serious about ending things, confrontation scares you from doing what’s best for you.
5. End things completely
It’s not enough to stop seeing or talking to each other; you need to end things completely.
You’ve got to end it quickly and firmly.
Do not drag it out over a long period.
This means deleting their phone number, email address, and social media accounts from your life.
It might be tempting to keep in touch with them or stay friends, but it’s important to completely cut ties with them so that you can move on.
Let them know there is no room for any further contact between the two of you from this point forward, under any circumstances whatsoever – whether it be personal or professional.
If you have any mutual friends, it’s also a good idea to distance yourself from them so that you’re not reminded of your affair every time you see them.
6. Consider the consequences of continuing the affair
If you’re not sure about ending your affair, then it might help to consider the consequences of continuing the affair.
What would happen if you got caught?
What would it do to your relationship with your partner?
How would it affect your family and friends?
Would it damage your career?
There are many potential consequences of continuing an affair, and thinking about them can help you stand your ground on ending things.
An affair can continue for years if you allow it to happen — this is true whether or not it’s physical or emotional only.
And the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to end once it becomes clear that neither party wants to leave their marriage for one another.
7. Seek counseling if necessary
Ending affairs when you are in love can be difficult and emotionally draining because there are real feelings involved.
If you find that you can’t do it on your own, then seek counseling.
A counselor can help you work through your emotions and figure out what’s best for you.
Many people have ended their affairs successfully with the help of counseling.
If you decide to go this route, find a counselor who is experienced in dealing with affairs.
Ending an affair is never easy, but it’s important to do what’s best for you and your family.
So, seek help if you’re not sure you can end things yourself.
8. Give yourself time to heal
Ending an affair should be treated like a death; you need to grieve and mourn for what was lost.
Affairs can cause a lot of pain for both people involved, so it’s important to give yourself time to heal from the breakup before moving on with your life.
It can take months or even years for someone to recover from the pain caused by ending an affair.
This is a process that takes time, so be patient with yourself.
Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and take care of yourself.
Eat healthy foods, exercise, get enough sleep, and spend time with supportive people.
Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself.
Ending an affair can be tough, but if you remain committed to your partner, things will improve over time.
9. Don’t Put Expectations on Your Relationship After the Affair
Just because you’ve ended the affair doesn’t mean that your relationship will automatically improve.
It takes time to rebuild trust after an affair.
And it might not ever be the same as it was before.
So, don’t expect things to go back to normal right away or for your relationship to be better than before the affair.
Give yourselves time to heal and work on rebuilding trust.
It will take effort, but it’s possible to improve your relationship after an affair.
10. Seek professional help if necessary
While it’s good to get professional help in ending an affair, it’s also advisable to seek professional help if you can’t move on from the affair or if it’s impacting your ability to function in day-to-day life.
Counseling can be very helpful for people struggling to deal with the aftermath of an affair.
A therapist can help you work through your emotions and figure out how to move on.
If your spouse is aware of the affair and is struggling, consider couples counseling.
This can be a great way to work through the issues together and improve your relationship.
11. Forgive yourself
And once you’ve ended the affair, forgive yourself for what happened.
We all make mistakes, and we all deserve second chances.
So, give yourself a break and don’t beat yourself up over the affair.
Instead, focus on the future and what you can do to improve things.
12. Pray for God’s help
Ending affairs when you are in love is difficult.
But if you are a Christian like me, you can ask God for help.
Pray that He would give you the strength to remain faithful and the wisdom to know what to do next.
Pray that He would heal your heart and help you to forgive yourself.
And pray that He would restore your relationship with your spouse.
13. Have an accountability partner so you don’t stray again
If you have ended the affair, congratulations!
But now it’s time to focus on making sure you don’t stray again.
One way to do this is to get an accountability partner.
An accountability partner is someone you can talk to about your thoughts and feelings.
They will help you stay accountable and avoid making the same mistakes again.
An accountability partner can be a trusted friend, your therapist, religious leader, or anyone else you feel comfortable talking to.
14. Remember why you ended the affair in the first place
When things get tough, and you’re tempted to stray again, remember why you ended the affair in the first place.
What were the reasons that caused you to end things?
Were there problems in your relationship that you were hoping to fix by having an affair?
Or were you just not happy with your life and thought that an affair would make things better?
Whatever the reasons, remember them and use them to keep yourself from straying again.
15. Get busy with your life and set new goals
When you’re trying to move on from an affair, it’s important to keep yourself busy.
Focus on your career, hobbies, or anything else that you’re passionate about.
Set new goals for yourself and work towards them.
The more you focus on positive things in your life, the less time you’ll have to think about the affair or start another one.
The decision to end an affair is never easy.
After all, it’s not just your life that’s at stake here; it’s the lives of everyone involved.
But sometimes, ending an affair is the right thing to do — even if it means breaking someone’s heart or losing a friend.