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How Dating a Narcissist Changes You: 16 Scary Ways You’re Changed

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You: 16 Scary Ways You’re Changed

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How dating a narcissist changes you?


And it’s not for the better.

If you’ve ever dated a narcissist, you know how hard it can be to deal with their self-absorption and attention-seeking behavior—and how much it can affect your self-esteem.

Narcissists are always looking for validation and praise, so they use their partners to do that for them.

At first, you might think that being with a narcissist is great.

They’re charming, they’re engaging, and they seem to love you more than anyone else ever has.

But as time goes on, you start to see the cracks in their veneer.

You learn that they’re not interested in what you want or need; instead, they only want to talk about themselves.

And when it comes to making decisions together, forget it—they’ll make all the decisions and then blame you if anything goes wrong.

So it’s no secret that dating a narcissist can have some pretty negative effects on your life.

In fact, it can even change who you are as a person.

Here are sixteen ways dating a narcissist can change you:

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You

1. You become more self-centered

One of the most common ways dating a narcissist changes you is that it makes you more self-centered.

Narcissists are obsessed with themselves, which is why they can’t see past their own needs to care about anyone else’s.

As a result, they tend to treat others as objects or tools rather than people—and you might also start treating other people that way, too.

You stop caring about the feelings of others; you become inured to the pain of others because you’ve been so used to your own pain being ignored or dismissed by your partner.

This isn’t just a side effect of being in a relationship with a narcissist; it’s also common among people who have been raised by narcissists or who have grown up in an environment where everyone is focused on making themselves look good.

So if you’ve been raised by one parent who always put him/herself first and didn’t care about anyone else, then there’s a chance that you’ll develop this behavior too.


2. You become more superficial

When you’re dating a narcissist, it’s easy to become more superficial.

You might find yourself preening in front of the mirror or putting on makeup and jewelry.

And when he tells you how pretty and sexy you are, it can feel like the best feeling in the world—and make you feel like you’re worth something after all.

To a narcissist, appearances are everything.

You may also find that you start putting more emphasis on how good-looking your friends are, how much money they make, or how many followers they have on Instagram.

You might even start comparing yourself to them and feeling like your life isn’t as exciting or glamorous as theirs.

This can lead to feelings of jealousy and inadequacy that make you want to appear more desirable by comparison—which is exactly what narcissists want.


3. You become more manipulative

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You

Another way that dating a narcissist changes you is that it can make you more manipulative.

To get what they want, narcissists often have to resort to manipulation.

They may use flattery, coercion, or even emotional blackmail to get what they want from you.

And, over time, you may start to pick up on their manipulative tactics.

I mean, it’s difficult to resist the urge to manipulate someone who is manipulative.

It’s like playing chess with someone who plays chess all day long and doesn’t have time to get bored with the game.

You’ll find yourself getting more and more creative with your strategies as time goes on because it feels like your opponent has an infinite number of moves at their disposal.


4. You become more critical

How dating a narcissist changes you?

You become more critical.

To a narcissist, nothing is ever good enough.

So, if you’re dating a narcissist, they will start to rub off on you, and you may become more critical of yourself and others.


5. You will give and give until you don’t have anything left to give

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You

One of the most destructive ways that dating a narcissist can change you is that it can make you become a doormat.

To a narcissist, your only worth is in how much you can provide for them.

They drain your energy, love, and time—and then expect more from you.

You’ll feel as though there’s nothing left for yourself because all of your energy goes towards their needs—and leaving none for yourself.

They don’t care about your needs or wants; they only care about their own needs.


6. Your self-esteem will plummet

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You

How dating a narcissist changes you?

Your self-esteem drops, and so does your confidence.

When someone is constantly putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself, it’s hard not to take those words to heart.

To a narcissist, you are never good enough.

No matter how hard you try, you will always fall short in their eyes.

And, over time, this constant criticism can take a toll on your self-esteem.

You get used to being treated like you’re worthless.

Narcissists are experts at making others feel small and insignificant.

They do this because it helps them feel bigger in comparison.

And when you’re dating someone like this, it can be hard not to internalize the criticism and start to believe that maybe there really is something wrong with you.


7. You start to become paranoid

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You

When you’re constantly being watched and judged, you realize you don’t trust people anymore and don’t know why.

You feel like everyone is out to get you, and you start to doubt everything they say.

You wonder if your friends are secretly laughing at you behind your back.

You feel like everyone is just waiting for the day when they can finally see through your fake smile.

So, if you’re dating a narcissist, you’ll find it hard to trust people.


8. You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells

You have to be hyper-vigilant about everything you say because the slightest wrong move could set off a narcissist and send them into a rage.

You have to be careful about how you dress, how much makeup you wear, what TV shows you watch, and not be too loud or too quiet or too happy or too sad.


9. You will start to lose yourself

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You

Dating a narcissist will cause you to lose yourself.

When you’re constantly being told that you’re not good enough, you may start to believe it.

This can lead to you losing sight of who you are and what you want in life.

So, if you’re dating a narcissist, keep a close eye on your sense of self and make sure you’re still living your life for yourself and not for them.


10. You may become depressed

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You

It’s hard to be in a relationship with a narcissist and not feel depressed.

So you may start to feel depressed and have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.

You might even find yourself crying for no reason at all.

When you date a narcissist, they tend to suck the life out of you.

Narcissists are more likely to be unfaithful and engage in other behaviors that can make you feel bad about yourself.

They may be abusive, both physically and verbally.

This can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and low self-esteem.

it can take a toll on your mental health.


11. You become a recluse

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You

How does dating a narcissist affect you?

When you’re constantly being made to feel like you’re not good enough, it can be difficult to socialize and interact with others.

You may find yourself withdrawing from friends and family and choosing to spend more time alone.


12. You become trapped in the relationship

If you’re dating a narcissist, you may feel like you’re living in a cage.

You’ll feel like you can’t breathe.

Like there’s no air to breathe—and the more you try to breathe, the more suffocated you’ll feel.

You might fall into a rut and feel there’s no way out.


13. You start defending narcissists in general

You defend your partner, even though you know they’re being rude, mean, or condescending.

You tell yourself that they’re just stressed or don’t mean it.

When someone else points out that your partner is acting like a jerk, you feel defensive and get angry at them.

”It’s not their business! This is between my partner and me. They have no right to judge us!”

The reality is, when you’re with someone who is so narcissistic, it’s easy to become defensive of their behavior.

You start to see it as normal and might even find yourself defending narcissists in general.


14. You constantly think you are crazy

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You

Narcissists are notorious for gaslighting their partners into believing that they’re crazy when in fact, the narcissist is trying to control them by making them doubt themselves and their perceptions of reality—all while making themselves look good in comparison.


15. You’ll learn how to be more independent

Narcissists expect their partners to do everything for them, and if they don’t, they use manipulation tactics to get what they want.

Once out of the relationship, you’ll find yourself more capable of doing things for yourself—and this independence will help build up your confidence.

I guess there’s a silver lining in every cloud, after all.


16. You’ll have stronger self-esteem (and it won’t be based on someone else)

Narcissists tend to make their partners feel insecure about themselves to keep them under control.

So when you leave them, it’s time for a big boost in self-esteem!

And unlike before, when your confidence was based on someone else’s opinion of you, now, it will come from within—which means even more confidence in your abilities.


Dating a narcissist can change you in several ways, most of which can be negative.

If you’re dating a narcissist, it’s important to be aware of how they may be changing you and take steps to protect yourself.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect, and you should never let anyone make you feel like you’re not good enough.

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You





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