He said love you instead of I love you.
Should I be worried?
The desire to be loved wholly and deeply appreciated by someone is one of the innate desires of every human being.
From the cradle, as growing children, as teenagers, and ultimately adults, we all want that special and significant person to be able to let us know that we are loved and deeply appreciated by them.
And what better way to profess this love and appreciation than saying the three magical words “I love you”?
For a woman in a romantic relationship, hearing the words “I love you” may be the only thing that is etched somewhere in her mind and keeps her smiling all through the day.
Now, what if your man says “love you” instead of “I love you”?
Does it make any difference?
If they omit “I” and say “love you,” should you be worried?
The key to knowing whether you should be worried lies in understanding the real reason behind those words.
It might seem small and insignificant since the only thing that separates the two phrases is the letter “I,” but for a lot of women, leaving the “I” out of “I love you” signifies a lack of intent, emotion, and commitment.
“Love you” is often regarded as a general and vague statement, and it is most often said because there aren’t any deep feelings.
To these sets of people, “love you” often feels less intimate.
It connotes a less committed relationship with the other person, and it’s often said when the atmosphere is relaxed and easygoing.
For a woman in a relationship, here are several reasons a guy could say “love you” instead of “I love you”: –
He Said Love You Instead of I Love You
It could be who they are.
Nothing serious and definitely not something you should be worried about.
They could be the words he grew up gearing from his mom or dad or any of the mother or father figures in his life.
To him, whether the “I” is omitted or not, it makes no difference because the love he feels toward you is natural.
In this case, you have nothing to worry about.
Sometimes, my husband says, ”Love you,” and I have to ask him what happened to the ”I” or I ask, ”Who loves me?”
Then he says, ”I love you.”
2. He may be using “love you” to gauge your response and reaction and your level of commitment to him.
Sometimes, a guy really likes you, and he falls for you, but he isn’t sure of how you’ll react to what he feels for you.
So he deliberately omits the “I” and says “love you” instead.
He decides to gauge your reaction and response before he makes a commitment by adding the “I.”
If he feels a negative reaction or notices a quizzical look from you, you know the look that says, “Hold on! What’s wrong with you?” or if he feels his love is unwelcome, unappreciated, or waved off, he can always fall back and shield himself with the excuse that it was just casual and meant nothing.
3. It signifies little or no commitment on his part.
“Love you” is considered less intimate than “I love you,” and the guy who leaves the “I” out of “I love you” might be saying it to get you close to him and keep you around him even when he’s not ready to be fully committed.
He may still be undecided about you, and he may be hesitant to jump all the way in, but he wants to tell you that he really does care about you without making it a big deal.
4. He feels stuck in a relationship with you.
A guy who is stuck in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in or a relationship he’s tired of being in might feel obliged to toss in a quick “Love you” when “I love you” is said to him because he no longer wishes to be committed to you and the relationship, not anymore.
In this case, it shows he isn’t emotionally attached to you, and the affection he felt for you is no longer there.
5. It makes him feel guarded and safe.
Loving someone and saying the words “I love you” takes vulnerability.
We live in a world where we are taught that vulnerability isn’t a good thing and that we must always protect ourselves from love because the heartbreak that comes with it is excruciating and almost unbearable.
Vulnerability also entails an open heart, and your man might be a guarded person who has not felt comfortable with being fully open yet or who has been hurt before and is still taking his time.
He might also be a man who doesn’t believe in showing his true feelings to a woman because he feels it makes him too soft for a man.
Highly traditional and somewhat archaic mentality but true.
In these cases, he simply says “love you” because he wants to let you know how he feels about you, but he hasn’t felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable, or he doesn’t want to be soft and be seen as less of a man around you.
6. He feels distant, but he says it to please you.
He might say “love you” instead of “I love you” because he feels distant from you.
This may or may not be your fault or even the fault of any of you, and it isn’t a black-and-white thing, but the emotional connection between you two might be weak.
It could even be the result of other external factors such as work, trauma, or other mental health-related issues and turbulent relationships with other extended family members.
In this case, he loves you, but he isn’t in the right frame of mind to make that commitment to you by adding the “I” to “love you,” so each time you say “I love you” to him, he replies with a quick “love you” so that he could say something pleasant to you.
These are several reasons your man could say “love you” instead of “I love you.”
Now, I need you to know that irrespective of these reasons stated above, there are factors to observe and consider before you can accurately gauge why people do what they do, and why your man says “love you” instead of “I love you.”
Individuals are products of a lot of factors they were exposed to, including environmental influences, habits, past experiences, beliefs, etc.
So you need to slow down and consider some or all of these factors before you conclude on the reason your man says “love you” instead of “I love you” and whether you should be worried or not.
Most importantly, nothing is ever solved by bottling up concerns and feelings.
If you are worried about his choice of words, the best course of action is to speak up and have an honest conversation with him.
While you talk and lay your concerns on the table, observe his body language and pay attention to what he says and doesn’t say.
An honest conversation will definitely put any worries you have to rest while letting you know the direction your relationship is headed.