Is your boyfriend showing signs he is taking advantage of you financially?
First of all, what does it mean to take advantage of someone?
It means to exploit another person for one’s own benefit, to treat someone unfairly, and use their strength, weakness, and vulnerability for one’s benefit, especially when they are trying to be kind or supportive.
Relationships thrive on mutual support.
We are not always in a good frame of mind, in our best shape, or in good financial standing, and at such times, it is natural to expect support from our partners.
But then, there’s a limit to how much support you can render to a guy you are in a relationship with, especially when it comes to money and finances.
There’s a thin line between supporting your man financially and being taken advantage of.
If you are rendering financial help to your man and you are wondering if you have crossed that thin line and are being taken advantage of financially, here are eleven signs he is taking advantage of you financially you should look out for.
11 Signs He is Taking Advantage of You Financially
You cater to his expensive taste.
Don’t get me wrong.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having one’s eyes on the finest things of life or getting something expensive for one’s self once in a while but when your man has eyes on those finest things and he expects or coerces you to cater for him and buy them for him, then there’s a problem.
If having his eyes on those luxury items means that you open your wallet or let him have your card at every turn and for every item he desires, then you are being taken advantage of financially.
2. You pay for all household bills, every time.
There are times when we have less than we are used to in terms of money and we look to our partners to step in and help us out but it shouldn’t be an everyday or every time thing.
If you notice that whenever you go out for dinner, date night or head to the grocery store, you are always the one paying the bills and your man never even offers to pay or even as little as bring their wallets along, then there’s a high chance he’s taking advantage of you financially.
3. He has eyes on your large bank account.
How do you know this?
He notices and comments on how well you are doing financially and how much money you have in contrast to him.
Comments like, “You have all the money you need, unlike me”.
“You are loaded so stuff like this doesn’t bother you, unlike me”.
“See how much money you make in a month, just you”.
Once a guy adopts this mentality and approach to your finances, they have eyes on your money and they have justified taking advantage of you and your financial status.
To him, it’s no longer about you and the comfort of having you in his life. It’s about your money and what it can do for them.
4. He becomes aggressive or passive-aggressive when you don’t support him financially.
Have you ever declined to render financial assistance to your man because you couldn’t afford it, had some other pressing needs to take care of or you just didn’t want to?
How did he react to your refusal or decline?
Did he bring up issues just to cause conflict between the two of you and he refused to sit, talk about it or settle it amicably?
Did he call you names and say things to make you feel guilty for not taking care of his financial needs?
Did he stop talking to you?
Did he start ignoring you?
Did he withdraw his attention from you and start giving you the silent treatment?
If your answers to at least three or all of these questions are in the affirmative, then your man is a user.
He is doing those things because he wants to make you feel guilty about not catering for his financial needs and he’s hoping you will give in and ultimately give him money.
5. He shows you deep affection when you assist or support him financially.
Every woman loves to be dotted on and appreciated especially when they offer financial support to their man or partner.
If his affection, appreciation, physical presence and love comes only when you assist or support him financially and disappears when he’s done spending your money and you aren’t able to give him money or solve his financial needs, then there’s a high chance he’s taking advantage of you financially.
6. He never wants to talk about finances and future investments with you.
The reason is simple and it isn’t about being ambitious or not having any plans for the future.
It’s about the fact that he thinks of you only as his personal ATM and he’s so focused on what he can get from you and getting as much money as he can from you that he’s not concerned about building a future with you.
In fact, when he’s not discussing any future with you, he’s most likely discussing it with another lady and guess whose money will be used to build the future he sees with that other lady?
To him, it’s about your money, your savings, investments and his benefits.
7. He blames everyone else for his financial issues and setbacks.
His mom for not setting up a savings account for him when he was a child.
His dad for not being there for him and teaching him money management and savings.
His boss (if he has a job) for always overwhelming him with work and not giving him time to focus on and build his dream.
His ex for leaving him high and dry.
Everyone else but himself.
This points to the fact that he is not only terrible with money, he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and he expects you to show some pity or “compassion”, step in and be his savior with your money.
8. He doesn’t keep a job.
The economy isn’t steady and most of the time, one can find oneself moving from one job to another so as to make ends meet.
But there’s a difference between going through a tough job market particularly in the middle of a global inflation and being consistently unemployed and never having or keeping a job.
If your man isn’t willing to take or keep a job, it is most likely because he’s waiting for you to foot the bills and he’s after your money.
9. He’s in debt.
Being in debt isn’t always a sign of financial irresponsibility.
Businesses can take a downturn, jobs can be lost and finances can dwindle but if your man is deep in debts, has taken several loans at different times and is suffering from a multitude of money problems, then you might want to slow down and assess his intentions towards you.
If he isn’t making genuine efforts towards off-setting his debts and living debt free, he’s most definitely looking to you for “help” and it isn’t a good sign.
10. He’s a liar.
You found out he isn’t who you think he is.
He had lied about everything – his past, his family, employment and finances – and naturally, you find it difficult to believe any word he says.
The fact that he lied about everything from the start shows he’s desperate to have and keep you and that desperate need of his could be because he had his eyes on your money and everything he could benefit from you financially.
11. Your instincts never lie.
Most of the time, our hearts are the most difficult to convince but our bodies and minds sense things faster.
They feel and they start to send signals and warn.
Such signals and warnings are often called “instincts“, “intuition”, “hunch” and most of the time, they never lie.
If you feel your man is using you financially and you feel you should slow down and be more careful, please listen to yourself and slow down.
Those warnings and signals could be trying to shield you from an impending financial disaster.
Wherever money is, there will always be people looking to take advantage of those who earned or saved it, especially in a relationship.
Now you know some signs that point to the fact that your significant other is taking advantage of you financially, you’d do well to remain observant.
Once you notice one or more of these signs, do well to take a step back to address it and shield yourself.
You deserve all the happiness in the world and you deserve to be loved and adored for who you are, not for your money or what your man can benefit from you.