It’s not always easy to get a guy to open up emotionally.
Men are often socialized to bottle up their feelings, making it tough to get them to express themselves.
But if you want to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship, he must learn to open up emotionally.
Here are some tips on how to get a guy to open up.
How To get a Guy To Open Up
- Be His Friend First
If you want to get a guy to open up and talk to you, you have to become friends with him first.
Just as you can’t open up to someone who is not your friend, don’t expect a guy to open up to you if he doesn’t consider you a friend.
Being someone’s friend first is always a good foundation for any relationship.
When you’re his friend first, he’ll be more likely to trust you and feel comfortable opening up to you about important things to him.
Listen, be supportive, be non-judgmental and understanding, and let him know that you’re always there for him, no matter what.
2. Be Open to Disclosing Personal Information
If you’re still wondering how to get a guy to open up, share your feelings more.
When you share your own emotions and experiences, it helps create a bond of trust and understanding between you and the guy you’re interested in.
Furthermore, it shows that you’re not afraid to be vulnerable, which can be a major turn-on for guys.
And finally, it allows him to share his feelings with you, which is ultimately what you’re looking for.
But don’t be too eager to overshare and spill your deepest secrets all at once.
He isn’t a diary; he’s a person, and what you disclose may tell him more about who you are and how you see yourself.
Be honest about who you are, your past, and what matters most to you in life.
Don’t say anything that could embarrass him or make him uncomfortable.
Just open up to him because you want to and encourage him to open up.
3. Offer Compliments
One way to get someone to open up is to offer compliments.
People are often more willing to share information about themselves if they feel appreciated.
So, take the time to let your guy know what you admire about him.
He’ll likely be flattered and more receptive to sharing other aspects of his life with you.
However, don’t compliment him too much because overdoing it can make you seem desperate and insincere.
And make your compliments genuine and specific.
Complimenting his sense of humor is flattering, but complimenting the specific joke he told clarifies that you paid attention and were listening when he spoke.
4. Make a Nonverbal Connection
Look into his eyes, and make sure he knows that you are truly engaged in what he is saying.
If you are out on a date, touch his arm when he is talking.
Show that you’re listening by nodding your head as he talks.
Smile at him when you laugh at his jokes.
Make sure your body is facing him and not turned away from him, as this could signal that you aren’t interested in him or what he has to say.
5. Ask Open-ended Questions
Instead of asking yes or no questions, try asking him things like: “How did that make you feel?” or “What was going through your mind at that moment?”
These kinds of questions invite him to share his thoughts and feelings without putting pressure on him to respond in a certain way or give a certain answer.
6. Be a Good Listener
If you want to get a guy to open up, listen when he talks.
Give him your full attention, and let him know that you’re listening by asking follow-up questions and making eye contact.
When he starts opening up, don’t cut him off or try to steer the conversation in another direction.
If he asks your opinion or advice on something, be encouraging while still honest.
7. Avoid Nagging or Asking Him to Open Up in The Same Way All The Time
You should avoid a few things as you try to get your guy to open up more.
Asking him the same questions over and over
Asking him to open up in front of other people
Demanding that he open up or make him feel bad for not doing so.
Doing any of these will only make him not open up to you.
8. Show Empathy
Showing empathy is one of the most important things you can do if you want to get a guy to open up to you.
Empathy is about suspending your feelings and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand where they are going from.
This is especially important if he is going through a tough time.
If he opens up about something he is going through, listen closely and try to understand it from his point of view.
Don’t freak out or criticize him; otherwise, his guard will go back up like the drawbridge of a medieval castle, and you won’t be able to get in again anytime soon.
9. Have Realistic Expectations
It is unrealistic to expect your new guy to open up immediately or even within the first few months of dating.
Some men are more reserved than others, so be patient and try not to take it personally if he’s not ready to talk right away.
Watch for signs that he trusts you enough for deeper conversations and give it time before pressuring him into talking about his feelings.
10. Look for His body Language Cues
A man’s body language can speak volumes about how he is feeling.
Is he slouching or sitting up straight?
Does he have an open posture, or is he closed off with his arms and legs crossed?
He is probably comfortable with you if he looks at you with a relaxed expression.
If his shoulders are turned away from you, and his arms or legs are crossed, on the other hand, he may be uncomfortable.
Understanding his body language signals will also help you understand how sensitive a certain topic might be for him.
If your guy you like isn’t opening up to you, try giving him space and time to himself while still showing him that you care.
Don’t push it if he’s not ready to talk—he may just need time to process his emotions before talking them over with someone else.
Just be sure that every once in a while, you ask him how he’s been doing since your last conversation, as this will help him feel comfortable talking again when he’s ready.