The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.
Yet, for so many of us, we only feel complete when we’re in a relationship with a man.
This is not only unhealthy, but it’s also downright unevolved.
If you can’t find happiness in yourself and your life, you will never find it with someone else.
You need to learn how to be comfortable by yourself.
Happiness doesn’t come from other people — it comes from within.
If you want to know how to love yourself without a man, the following tips will be very helpful:
How To Love Yourself Without a Man
- Embrace the freedom of being alone
The first thing you need to do is embrace the freedom of being alone.
It’s so easy to get caught up in wanting what we don’t have.
If you want to know how to love yourself without a man, list all the wonderful things about not having a man right now.
You can decide where to go for dinner without taking anyone else’s feelings into account.
You don’t have to worry about whose week it is for laundry or who left the toilet seat up this time.
You can dance around the house naked if that tickles your fancy, and no one will judge you for it (except maybe the cat).
You can decorate exactly how you want without having someone veto your ideas.
No one will notice if there are socks under the couch.
You can always watch whatever you want on the TV.
As silly as these things sound, appreciate them because they are part of what makes life great.
And you may never get to enjoy these benefits when you have a man.
No matter how strong our relationships may be with people we love, they always bring some drama with them, too (just like we do).
2. Have a positive self-image
Your self-image is key to being able to love yourself without a man.
Your self-image isn’t about what you look like, although appearance is a part of it.
Self-image is how you feel about who you are and what you’re capable of accomplishing.
The more positive your self-image, the more confident, happy, and capable you will be as an individual.
You don’t have to have a man in your life for your self-image to be positive.
You are the only one who can control your self-image.
You have the power to change your self-image.
Accept yourself for who you are and surround yourself with people who appreciate and accept you for who you are.
These positive relationships will help you feel good about yourself.
Then, choose your words carefully.
The words you use to describe yourself have a big impact on how you see yourself.
Choose words that are positive and affirming.
Finally, take care of yourself physically.
Eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep.
When you take care of yourself, you’ll feel better about yourself, and your self-image will reflect that.
3. Make a list of all the things that bring you happiness
Sit down and make a list of all the things that bring you happiness.
Write down the people you enjoy spending your time on, the activities that give you a sense of accomplishment and purpose, and even the things (or certain types of food) that make you laugh.
If you’re having a tough day and need something to cheer you up, put on a favorite playlist or watch some funny video clips from YouTube.
Do whatever it takes to remind yourself why being single is so awesome.
Even as a married woman, I do this.
Being married doesn’t excuse you from learning how to love yourself without a man.
Marriage isn’t an excuse for losing your individuality.
So, this topic isn’t only for single ladies.
4. Find a community you belong in
A community can be a family, a friendship, or even an interest group.
A community is something that supports you, challenges you, and makes you feel like yourself around.
To find the right kind of community, decide what means the most to you.
Maybe there’s an issue or cause that has always been particularly close to your heart.
Find an organization surrounding this cause and get involved.
If music or art is more your thing, start attending open mic nights or gallery events and make connections with fellow creatives.
If you value friendship above all else, think about hosting a potluck at your place.
Whatever inspires and enriches you most can help lead the way to your perfect supportive community, so follow those instincts whenever possible.
For me, I value friendship and my church community.
I stay in touch with my friends and regularly attend church services.
Find your community!
5. Know yourself
If you want to learn how to love yourself, you have to get to know who you are.
You can’t love someone or something that is a complete mystery to you.
By knowing who you are, you can be yourself and move forward as the best woman you can be.
You can learn about yourself in many ways:
Think about your likes and dislikes.
What do you enjoy doing?
What makes you feel good?
What don’t you like?
What makes you feel bad?
Write down your answers and refer back to them when trying to figure out how to love yourself.
6. Stop comparing yourself to other women
Comparing yourself to other women is a surefire way to feel self-loathing and undermine your self-confidence.
The truth is, everyone is different.
If you’re constantly comparing yourself to other women for the way they look or their things, you’ll miss out on what you have that’s special about you.
Instead of weighing yourself against other people, focus on your life.
7. Find your passion
Discovering what you are passionate about in life is one of the best ways to learn how to love yourself.
People who pursue their passions are happier and more fulfilled than those who do not.
They feel a degree of purpose in their lives that many of us lack.
So, find something that drives your soul, something that you are passionate about, whether it’s reading, writing, knitting, spending time with children, or making crafts.
Whatever it is that makes your heart sing, pursue it.
Plus, if you discover what you are passionate about and pursue it wholeheartedly, people will be drawn to your enthusiasm.
Because passionate people are attractive.
8. Nurture your talents
Another way to love yourself is to nurture your talents and skills.
Research shows that people who develop their talents tend to experience greater happiness than those who do not.
Many people have different talents they can share with the world, but they never develop them.
By polishing your skills and sharing them with others, you can feel better about yourself and make others happy.
9. Go on self dates
Why wait for someone to take you out when you can take yourself?
Go out for dinner and a movie or something more adventurous like horseback riding, road trip, or skydiving.
Do something that relaxes you or makes you feel great about yourself, like getting a massage or shopping.
You can even go out with your friends or family members.
Just do something that makes you happy and gives you time to reflect on your life.
10. Celebrate your accomplishments
Don’t focus on your shortcomings, keeping you stuck in negative thinking patterns.
Instead, start looking for things to celebrate about yourself.
Don’t wait for someone else to congratulate you on passing a test, getting promoted at work, or losing weight.
Don’t wait for others to tell you how proud they are of you and admire you.
Celebrate your wins!
It doesn’t have to be huge things like graduating from college or buying a house; it can be as simple as getting through the day without going off on the guy who cut you off in traffic or eating a healthy lunch instead of grabbing fast food on your way back from work.
Try to find at least one thing you did well each day and congratulate yourself on it.
11. Create a bucket list
List all the things you want to do but haven’t yet, and put them on your bucket list.
Your list can include anything from traveling the world, learning to play an instrument, or taking a cooking class.
You don’t have to have these experiences with a man; in fact, some of them will be more enjoyable without one.
12. Create your traditions
If you are looking for love because you want to have someone to do things with, then create those traditions on your own.
If you want someone to take you out for dinner on your birthday, go out yourself.
If you want someone to bring you breakfast in bed, cook yourself breakfast and bring it back into bed with a good book.
If you want someone to come home and watch TV with you at night, turn on an episode of your favorite series and grab some ice cream from the freezer.
Creating your traditions is a way to enjoy your time alone.
13. Write yourself a letter
Yes, it can be cheesy, but it can also be fun and helpful.
A letter to yourself is a surprisingly powerful way to build confidence.
You get to say whatever you want — no judgment from anyone else.
Don’t worry about the format or the structure.
Simply speak from the heart and tell yourself what you need to hear.
You can write about what you love about yourself or the things you are looking forward to in life.
You can also write about your strengths and the things you’ve overcome.
This is a safe space for you to just be yourself and share your thoughts with yourself.
There is no wrong way to write this letter.
It can be long or short, have fancy fonts or pictures or not — whatever feels good to you.
The most important part is that you are speaking up for yourself, so take your time and enjoy it.
Wow! I can’t believe I’ve not been doing this!
What a shame.
14. Practice self-love affirmations
Writing statements about your greatness that are positive and encouraging about how you want to live your life.
You can write them down in a journal or on an index card, so they’re always with you.
Here are some examples:
I am happy, healthy, and safe
I have the strength and resiliency to overcome any obstacle
I love myself for who I am, not what I look like or what others think of me.
I believe that other people’s approval and approval from society have no place in my life
I am kind and generous
I have confidence and respect for myself
I am beautiful beyond my flaws
I am worthy of love and beauty
I have the strength to make my dreams come true
I believe in myself and trust my intuition etc.
15. Treat yourself with respect
Don’t settle for less than you deserve; this includes dating men who treat you badly or make you feel bad about yourself.
If a man doesn’t respect you, don’t waste your time with him.
He won’t change, and it will only bring your self-esteem down.
Remember that it’s okay to feel lonely sometimes, but loneliness can be a great teacher and experiencing it allows us to grow and become better.
It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of feeling like your life is meaningless without a relationship but know that being alone does not mean being unloved.
You are loved by your friends and family.
You are loved by your dog or your cat.
You are loved by God.
Being alone means you are on a journey of self-discovery.
Don’t waste the opportunity!