Have you ever wondered why good girls get hurt the most in relationships? Have you wondered why the nice girls always end up with guys that treat them badly? Have you asked yourself why the good ones are usually unlucky with love?
I’ve wondered the same too, and these are the reasons I’ve come up with:
Why Good Girls Get Hurt the Most in Relationships
1. They think being good is enough
A lot of good girls think that being good is all they need to have a good love life. They assume that because they are good, they’ll have good experiences with men.
No, darling. It doesn’t always work that way.
While it’s good to be good, dating requires some level of smartness as well.
You know why?
It’s a cruel world!
This is why I anchor a yearly dating class for single ladies titled ‘Smart Dating’, and some ladies find their dream men and get married after the class.
You need knowledge to date right, not just being good.
2. Good girls assume that they’ll attract good guys because they’re good
Good girls assume that they’ll only attract good guys because they’re good.
They’ve forgotten that like charges repel and opposite charges attract also applies in dating.
Not always though.
Even a bad person wants a good person. Just as a dishonest person wants a honest person.
If you’re a decent girl, don’t assume that you’ll attract your kind only.
It’s easy to assume that every guy that approaches you is good because you’re good.
3. Good girls are naive
Good girls tend to think that everyone is like them. They only view the world through their own lens. Because they’re good, they can’t imagine how anyone could be bad.
I used to be like this when I was new in the uni.
I had plugged my phone at the faculty’s large lecture theatre to charge, not understanding why anyone would take a phone that didn’t belong to them, because I wouldn’t do that.
When I went back to the LLT to check my phone, it was no longer there.
I was shocked and sad. I didn’t believe it. It seemed like a dream.
“Why would anyone take something that is not theirs?” I kept saying.
But I learnt the hard way. I learnt that not everyone can be like you. The world is filled with good people and bad people. So, you have to be careful. Have a balanced view of life.
Dear single girl, don’t be naive. You can be decent and smart.
Just because you’re good doesn’t mean every guy you meet is good and will treat you good.
4. Good girls have good friends
Believe it or not, the success of your love life will be largely influenced by the kind of friends you have.
This is because when you’re in love, you’re not likely to be objective in your judgement. It’s people around you, usually your friends that will see what you cannot see, and they’ll be able to talk sense into your head.
If your friends are equally good girls who see the world the way you see it, you’re likely to keep getting hurt in relationships.
5. Not learning from past mistakes
Even after getting hurt in previous relationships, good girls don’t learn from them.
They still keep seeing the world through their own lens.
They keep believing that they can’t change being themselves and that it’s the men who have to change.
While it’s good to be good, you need to understand the man you’re dealing with and not let yourself be used or manipulated.
6. Thinking they can change a guy by being good
Good girls put up with guys who don’t treat them well because they think they can change them by being good.
Why would anyone need another person to convince them to be a better version of themselves?
I’m not saying that you can’t positively influence another person but in a relationship, how much are you willing to tolerate a person before they change?
These are reasons good girls keep getting hurt in relationships. You don’t have to be naive to be a good girl. Be good and smart, and don’t let yourself be treated lesser than you deserve.