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Why Good Girls Get Hurt the Most in Relationships

Why Good Girls Get Hurt the Most in Relationships

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Have you ever wondered why good girls get hurt the most in relationships?

Have you wondered why nice girls always end up with guys that treat them badly?

Have you asked yourself why the good ones are usually unlucky with love?


I’ve wondered the same too, and these are the reasons I’ve come up with:

Why Good Girls Get Hurt the Most in Relationships

1. They think being good is enough

A lot of good girls think that being good is all they need to have a good love life.

They assume that because they are good, they’ll have good experiences with men.

No, darling.

It doesn’t always work that way.

While it’s good to be good, dating requires some level of smartness as well.

Do you know why?

It’s a cruel world!

You need knowledge to date right, not just being good. 


2. They underestimate their worth

Another reason why good girls often get hurt in relationships is that they underestimate their worth.

They think that because they are good, they don’t deserve the best or don’t deserve someone who will love them the way they need to be loved. 

And so, they end up settling for less or allowing people to treat them anyhow.

You are worthy of so much more than that! 

You need to understand and believe that you deserve the very best – a good guy who will love you right and treat you right.

Don’t settle for less or allow anyone to take advantage of your goodness. 

Know your worth and make sure you don’t settle for anything less than that.


3. Good girls assume that they’ll attract good guys because they’re good

Things That Make a Woman Unhappy in Her Marriage 

Good girls assume that they’ll only attract good guys because they’re good.

They’ve forgotten that ”like charges repel and opposite charges attract ” also apply in dating.

Not always, though.

Even a bad person wants a good person.

Just as a dishonest person wants an honest person.

If you’re a decent girl, don’t assume that you’ll attract your kind only.

It’s easy to assume that every guy that approaches you is good because you’re good.


4. Good girls are naive


Good girls tend to think that everyone is like them.

They only view the world through their own lens.

Because they’re good, they can’t imagine how anyone could be bad.

I used to be like this when I was new in the uni.

I had plugged my phone in the faculty’s large lecture theatre to charge, not understanding why anyone would take a phone that didn’t belong to them; because I wouldn’t do that.

When I went back to the LLT to check my phone, it was no longer there.

I was shocked and sad.

I didn’t believe it.

It seemed like a dream.

“Why would anyone take something that is not theirs?” I kept saying.

But I learned the hard way.

I learned that not everyone can be like you.

The world is filled with good people and bad people.

So, you have to be careful.

Have a balanced view of life.

Dear single girl, don’t be naive.

You can be decent and smart.

Just because you’re good doesn’t mean every guy you meet is good and will treat you good.


5. Good girls have good friends

Believe it or not, the success of your love life will be largely influenced by the kind of friends you have.

This is because when you’re in love, you’re not likely to be objective in your judgment.

It’s people around you, usually your friends, that will see what you cannot see, and they’ll be able to talk sense into your head.

If your friends are equally good girls who see the world the way you see it, you’re likely to keep getting hurt in relationships.


6. Not learning from past mistakes

I Have No Feelings For My Husband Anymore

Even after getting hurt in previous relationships, good girls don’t learn from them.

They still keep seeing the world through their own lens.

They keep believing that they can’t change being themselves and that it’s the men who have to change.

While it’s good to be good, you need to understand the man you’re dealing with and not let yourself be used or manipulated.


7. Thinking they can change a guy by being good

Good girls put up with guys who don’t treat them well because they think they can change them by being good.

Why would anyone need another person to convince them to be a better version of themselves?

I’m not saying that you can’t positively influence another person, but in a relationship, how much are you willing to tolerate a person before they change?

You have to be able to recognize when a guy is using you and when he’s actually trying to make an effort. 

If someone isn’t making an effort, that’s your sign that it’s time to move on and find someone who will treat you with the respect and kindness you deserve.

And if a guy does decide to change, it has to be his decision, not yours.

Trying to change someone is a recipe for disaster.

People can only make changes when they are ready and willing—not because someone else tells them to. 

At the end of the day, you have to learn how to respect yourself and leave those who don’t value your worth behind.


8.  They don’t learn how to set healthy boundaries

You need to understand the difference between being too strict and setting clear and healthy boundaries. 

Being overly accommodating and willing to accept anything from a guy in order not to hurt his feelings isn’t doing you any favors—it’s just going to lead to more heartache down the line. 

It’s important to learn your boundaries and make sure the guy knows them too.

This will eventually help you both grow into a healthier relationship with each other. 


These are reasons good girls keep getting hurt in relationships.

You don’t have to be naive to be a good girl.

Be good and smart, and don’t let yourself be treated lesser than you deserve.

Also Read
How to win over your man’s family
Why Most Couples No Longer Enjoy Intimacy
How to Make Him Respect You

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Sunday 15th of March 2020

So true!!


Monday 16th of March 2020

Thank you!

Hephzee ee

Wednesday 6th of November 2019

That number 3. I used to think everyone thinks like me. ??. I have since learnt.


Saturday 9th of November 2019

Glad you have learnt.?


Tuesday 9th of April 2019

This is so true ma'am. Thanks for sharing

Olubunmi Mabel

Saturday 20th of April 2019

Thank you too


Tuesday 9th of April 2019

Nice write up...this points are great points

Olubunmi Mabel

Saturday 20th of April 2019

Thank you

Kingsley E Ahanonu

Tuesday 9th of April 2019

Well I'll say that good girls get disappointed in their relationships cos they're good. Being a good person comes with the disadvantage of being used and played cos good people in general easily fall to being played, yea, cos they assume everyone to be as good them, as you rightly said...... Maybe till they experience the shocker of their life in dismay, then some would wisen up and adjust. They project their goodness in others without a single doubt.....

Olubunmi Mabel

Saturday 20th of April 2019

You are right, Kingsley.