Ladies, we all know the signs a man gives us when he’s in love, when he’s into us, or when he’s deeply committed to us.
He contacts you at all times to hear your voice, asks how you are doing, seeks and respects your opinions and feelings in all things, and at all times, protects and shields you like the queen you are and is not afraid or hesitant to show you off to his friends and family.
He makes you feel like you are the only woman in this world, and you know he has his eyes and heart set on you and you only.
We know these feelings because they are often difficult to hide, and we see and feel them easily.
But what if he’s using you emotionally?
How do you detect signs he is emotionally using you?
Because men go into relationships for various reasons, from seeking companionship, filling a void, satisfying their sexual desires, or just for fun.
Some of these intentions are clear from the get-go, right from the first day you meet or go on your first date, while for some men, it takes a longer time and closer observation to see their true intentions.
If you are at the point where you are confused, and you need to know the true intentions of your man towards you, whether he’s using you emotionally, here are 10 signs to look out for:
10 Signs He is Emotionally Using You
- He doesn’t talk about the future with you
You only talk about the future with someone you’re interested in building a future with.
If your man is hesitant to discuss future plans with you, chances are that he doesn’t see any future with you and he isn’t interested in building one with you.
In other words, he’s using you emotionally.
He’s content with being with you right now and enjoying whatever emotional benefits you offer him in your relationship.
You don’t want to waste your time with a man who doesn’t have any future plans with you so you need to summon courage and ask questions.
This isn’t being desperate.
You are only trying not to waste your time when you know you deserve better.
- He calls you only when he needs you
Relationships and human connections are two things that help us cope with the highs and lows of life.
Being there for your partner during the highs as well as the lows is solid proof of the special bond that you share.
However, if your partner doesn’t call or text or contact you in any way, and neglects your calls and messages until he needs something from you, sex, money or your company for a night of clubbing and fun, then he’s using you.
You need to make a prompt decision and let go because if he does this repeatedly, it can make you question your worth and mar you emotionally.
- You are the only one trying to make the relationship work
You are always calling, texting, and trying to bridge the communication gap in the relationship and any day you don’t reach out to him, he doesn’t reach out to you either.
If you’re the one that is constantly reaching out to him through calls, chats, or text messages, without these gestures being reciprocated by him, then it is certain he is using you.
- He is Secretive and he doesn’t open up to you
He knows every detail about you, your family, your past relationships (including your financial status), but you know little or nothing about him.
Relationships require a lot of vulnerability and when we love someone, we can’t help but bare ourselves to that person.
It’s almost as natural as breathing in and out or drinking water because we are thirsty.
When a guy keeps lots of his personal information from you, like his age, his occupation, his family, past love life, goals and aspirations, or even his phone password, clearly he doesn’t have your interest at heart and your relationship with him might just be for fun, nothing deep or serious.
- He compares you to other ladies
Exes from past relationships, female colleagues at work, the lady who lives next door or even a childhood female friend.
When you are with him, he talks about how beautiful and successful they are in a way that makes you question your worth and your place in his life and heart. other girls, about how successful and beautiful they are.
You feel unseen and invisible because the man you love talks about and admires other ladies in a way he has never admired and talked about you.
This simply shows he doesn’t respect and prioritize you and he has no regard for your feelings.
He is subtly telling you that you are not his kind of woman and that he’s using you to pass time while he waits to meet the woman of his dreams.
- He is unfaithful
I have to admit that a lot of men struggle with being faithful to their women even in long term and marital relationships.
The difference between a man who is committed to you and a man who is just using you lies in the fact that a man who is using you emotionally will never acknowledge his faults and struggles, and make genuine efforts towards being faithful to you.
He doesn’t care about how hurt you are and he may even blame you for his unfaithfulness.
This is because your relationship with him means nothing to him, and to him, you are undeserving of his faithfulness and commitment.
- He does not care about your ambitions
One of the most crucial ingredients to making a relationship work is to share and support each other’s dreams and ambitions.
If he doesn’t share and support your dreams and he seems to care only about himself – what he wants from you and what he wants to achieve, then you have nothing deep with him and he is using you for the several benefits he gets from you, including emotional benefits.
- He always threatens to leave you when you disagree with him
Relationships are made up of different individuals from different backgrounds and with different orientations and ideologies, so misunderstandings and disagreements are normal.
However, the question is, how does he handle disagreements and misunderstandings?
Does he make you feel worthless and like a piece of crap with his choice of words?
Does he threaten to leave the relationship and “move on with better and more beautiful women“?
Does he make you feel you aren’t good enough for him when you try to talk to him about his faults?
If one or all of these things are true, then he’s toying with your emotions and you may have to reconsider your priorities and make a decision on whether you want to be with such a person or not.
9. He doesn’t have any deep conversations with you
If your man acts like he feels nothing for you and you are there to fulfill his wishes only, then it’s true.
You are most likely there to fill a void or to fulfill his sexual wishes
If this isn’t what you want, if the feeling isn’t mutual, don’t force it.
There’s no need to hang around and see if he would change and start loving you.
Remove yourself from him and move forward onto something or someone better.
10. You feel something is not right
You know what I mean.
We could go on and on about all the signs, with you ticking and analyzing them but the fact remains that, in your gut and deep down in your heart, you know the truth. You feel it.
If you find yourself constantly in a state of worry and can’t seem to shake off the thought that something feels off, then you should pay attention.
There’s a reason you feel that way and even if you don’t see things clearly, you can definitely feel them.
If you think that a guy is probably using you, then he’s most likely using you.
If you feel that the relationship you have is not a good one, it probably isn’t and if your guts tell you that something is off, it’s most likely true.
It’s a terrible feeling when you discover that you have been used by a guy and that your emotions are being played with.
It doesn’t make anyone feel good.
Letting go is painful and difficult especially when you have fallen in love with him but hanging around and hoping he would change would damage you emotionally and hurt you more.
The safest option left for you is to exit the relationship, count your losses and move forward.