Everyone should love themselves, right?
I mean, why wouldn’t anyone love themselves? It doesn’t make sense.
Well, it’s not that simple.
Sometimes, you think you love yourself but you don’t.
And this is evident in the way you treat yourself.
Your actions and inactions show whether you love yourself or not.
What then are the self-hating behaviours that show you don’t love yourself?
Here are ten of them:
Self-Hating Behaviours: 10 Signs That You Don’t Love Yourself
1. You don’t forgive yourself
You don’t love yourself if you forgive everyone but yourself.
We are not perfect humans, so we don’t do right always.
That’s why you shouldn’t be hard on yourself whenever you do wrong, especially if you have a set of moral standards you abide by.
I fall into this category and I constantly have to remind myself to forgive myself for some things I don’t like that I’ve done.
Sometimes, I think pride is a major reason we find it difficult to forgive ourselves.
We sit on our moral high horse and think, “How could I have done such a thing? Me!”
And who are you not to?
Who are you?
2. You don’t compliment yourself
While it’s good to be complimented by others, you should make it a habit to compliment yourself.
What are your strengths, gifts, and abilities?
Do you appreciate them or you downplay them?
How often do you tell yourself that you’re beautiful, intelligent, gifted?
Or you think there’s no big deal about your special abilities and features?
If you don’t compliment yourself often, you don’t love yourself.
3. You don’t accept compliments
Accepting compliments is a sign of self-love.
Some people are in the habit of always downplaying people’s compliments of them.
They think people are just flattering them. They don’t believe it when people say nice things about them.
When people say good things about you, believe them. Don’t think they’re lying.
Who are you not to be awesome?
4. You displease yourself to please others
While it’s good to be selfless and go the extra miles for people, you shouldn’t constantly live to please others at the expense of your own well-being.
Sometimes, putting yourself first and securing your own safety and happiness is a sign of self-love because you can never please people.
Constantly making yourself unhappy to make others happy is a self-hating habit to let go of.
5. You are always criticizing yourself and looking down on yourself
No one has it all put together, but you should love yourself regardless.
If you’re always finding faults in yourself and in everything that you do, then you don’t love yourself.
If you think less of yourself and never see something good about yourself, you surely don’t love yourself.
Some people say to themselves,
“I am so stupid”
“I am so dull”
“I can never do anything right”
“Why am I such a loser?”
“I am ugly”
“Nobody loves me”
“I’m never going to find true love”
“No one loves me”
Blah blah blah
These aren’t the words of someone who loves themself.
6. You don’t take care of yourself
You don’t love yourself when you don’t take care of yourself physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
Do you eat well?
Do you sleep well? (I need to answer this question as well because it’s past 3 a.m and I’m still awake.? I don’t get enough sleep, and it’s even worse with a baby to care for)
Do you exercise? (Again, this is me. I’m hoping that I’ll have a workable schedule when my baby starts daycare so that I can resume exercising)
Do you make efforts to look and smell good?
If you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot be at your best and your body will soon protest.
You only have one body. Take good care of it.
7. You don’t invest in yourself
You don’t love yourself when you don’t make efforts to improve on yourself in every aspect of your life.
Personal development is crucial to living a quality life.
Do you make efforts to acquire the necessary skills you need to be successful in life? What efforts are you making to be good at what you do?
No amount of money, time, and resources are too much to ensure that you’re a better version of yourself.
8. You make excuses for your weaknesses
I already established the fact that there’s no perfect human but this doesn’t mean you should keep justifying your flaws and weaknesses.
As a matter of fact, self-love is understanding your strengths and weaknesses. It is maximizing your strengths and working on your weaknesses.
For instance, instead of justifying your anger problem and blaming everyone but yourself, how about taking some anger management classes? How about going for counselling?
Stop making excuses for your faults or blaming others for them.
Instead, take responsibility and seek a change.
9. You involve in self-destructive behaviours
You really do not love yourself when you engage in habits that put your life and sanity at risk.
Using drugs, driving when you’re drunk, having unprotected s*x especially with strangers, reckless driving, eating unhealthy etc. only show the value you place on yourself.
Why would you engage in behaviour that can cut your life short if you really love yourself?
A single wrong decision can ruin your entire life. It can ruin everything you’ve taken time and effort to build all your life.
10. You remain in toxic relationships
If you remain in relationships where you’re treated lesser than you deserve, then you don’t love yourself.
People can’t love, respect or treat you better than you do yourself. You set the pace for how you’ll be treated by others.
Why will you make excuses for someone who keeps treating you like trash if you love yourself?
Perhaps you’re doing one or more of these things to yourself. This article isn’t to judge you but to encourage you to practice self-love.
I am also guilty of some of these things.
Sometimes, I find it hard to forgive myself, I don’t get enough sleep, I excuse my weaknesses, but I’m glad I have this article to always remind me never to give up on myself, and I hope it will remind you too (if you save it).