You’ve probably heard the maxim, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”
But what about relationships?
Should you keep your relationship private not secret?
Relationships are hard.
They take work and dedication, but they’re worth it.
When you find the right person, you want to shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone about it.
But sometimes, you may want to keep things on the down low for a little while longer.
“Keeping it private” means you’re not talking about your relationship with others (except for a few trusted people) unless you feel like it.
Secret means nobody knows about it, but private means that some people know about it but don’t comment on it.
Keeping your relationship private, not a secret, is a choice that comes from knowing yourself and your partner well enough to know what’s right for you — and it’s not for everyone.
Here are some reasons why keeping your relationship private, not secret, can benefit you and your partner:
14 Wise Reasons To Keep Your Relationship Private Not Secret
- You don’t have to justify your relationship to anyone
One of the great things about keeping your relationship private is that you don’t have to explain or justify it to anyone else.
You’re not obligated to share details about your relationship with every friend, family, or co-worker unless you want to.
You can simply enjoy the time you spend with your partner without having to explain yourselves to others.
This can be a liberating feeling, especially if you’ve been in relationships where you felt like you had to defend your choices constantly.
2. You can avoid unwanted advice
If you’re not sharing details about your relationship with others, you can avoid unsolicited (and often unwanted) advice from well-meaning friends and family members.
When you are in a relationship, it is natural for people to want to give you advice on how to make your relationship work.
But when you keep your relationship private, none of these people will get the chance.
While some of this advice is useful and even necessary, much of it isn’t.
It’s just plain rude, even if it comes from a friend or family member who doesn’t know the deets about your relationship.
There will always be people who think they know more than they do about relationships, so why give them ammunition?
3. You can keep the spark alive
Sharing too much about your relationship with others can make it feel like it’s not as special anymore.
When you keep things private, it can help to keep the spark alive.
Don’t get me wrong — being public about your love is great for building confidence, but keeping things private gives you a chance to be yourselves without judgment or pressure.
You can enjoy each other’s company without worrying about what others think of your relationship.
You can go out on dates without having to check in with friends or family every five minutes.
And you can relax at home without worrying if anyone is at the door waiting for an update on how your date went.
4. You don’t have to put up with nosy questions
If you’re not sharing details about your relationship, you don’t have to put up with nosy questions from others.
This can be a relief, especially if you’re in a new relationship and are still getting to know each other.
It’s normal for people to ask questions just to satisfy their curiosity.
For example, they may want to know how long you’ve been dating and if it’s serious.
They might even ask when you are getting married or having kids.
These kinds of questions can be annoying and intrusive, so keeping your relationship private can help avoid this kind of awkwardness.
5. You don’t have to worry about people judging you
People always judge others without even realizing they are doing so — especially regarding relationships.
When people know they are being judged for something, they often change their behavior to avoid being judged negatively.
In fact, many people try desperately to conform to social norms because they fear judgment from others, even if those judgments aren’t fair or accurate in any way.
So, the more people know about your relationship, the more likely they will comment on it — even if they do so positively.
This can put pressure on you and your partner and make things stressful for you.
You won’t have this problem if your relationship remains private because only a few chosen people know about it.
6. You get to keep some things just between the two of you
Keeping your relationship private means you don’t have to share every little detail with others.
This can be a good thing, as it allows you to keep some things between you and your partner that are special and personal.
Maybe there’s an inside joke or a special way your partner always smiles at you that doesn’t need to be shared with everyone else for it to matter.
Keeping things quiet allows these kinds of little moments to stay just between the two of you.
7. You’re not worried about keeping up with other couples because your relationship doesn’t need to compete with others’ relationships.
There’s a lot of pressure these days to keep up with other couples.
Whether it’s posting ”The Perfect Couple” selfies on social media or bragging about your latest romantic getaway, it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that your relationship needs to measure up to others.
But when you keep your relationship private, you’re not worried about impressing anyone or comparing your relationship to others.
You’re focused on what works for you and your partner.
8. You can avoid unnecessary drama
There will always be people who disapprove of a new love interest and try to stir up trouble for no reason other than their selfishness and jealousy.
You can avoid this drama and every other one by keeping your relationship private.
9. You’re focused on building a happy, healthy relationship for you two, not for the approval of others
When you keep your relationship private, you can focus on building a happy, healthy relationship for you two rather than seeking the approval of others.
You’re working on your relationship because it’s important to you, not because it’s “cool.”
You don’t care how other people feel about your relationship.
You’re not trying to impress others with your relationship.
The conversations between you two are honest and open.
You talk about whatever is on your mind without worrying about what other people think or say.
You can focus on being good partners rather than being a good boyfriend/girlfriend in name only.
You can discuss important issues without concern that they’ll get back to other people or get out into the world somehow (like on social media).
10. You can protect each other’s privacy
If you’re in a relationship with someone who is private themselves, keeping things on the down low can be a way to respect their wishes and protect their privacy.
In fact, you’re able to protect each other’s privacy.
You can share intimate details and secrets without worrying about them becoming public knowledge.
You can also avoid the unwanted scrutiny of friends, family, and strangers.
As a result, you can feel closer to each other and experience a deeper level of intimacy.
11. Your relationship problems are not for public consumption
Keeping your relationship private can also help to prevent arguments and disagreements from becoming public knowledge.
You can work through problems without worrying about outside opinions or interference.
This helps you to maintain a stronger, healthier relationship.
I’ve always believed that many relationships and marriages would still be going strong if there wasn’t public interference.
So if you want to strengthen your bond with your partner, keeping your relationship private is a great way to do it.
12. It helps to build trust
Keeping your relationship private can help to build trust between you and your partner.
Not constantly sharing every detail with everyone you know shows that you’re willing to keep certain things between the two of you.
As a result, your partner will know that they can trust you to be discreet about the intimate details of your relationship.
13. People will respect the boundaries you set up
When you keep your relationship private, you get to decide who knows about it and when, and also what to disclose.
This can be a great way to manage expectations and protect your privacy.
You can also set boundaries with friends and family members who may want to know more than you’re comfortable sharing.
If people respect the boundaries you set, it can create a more supportive environment for your relationship.
14. You don’t have to worry about breaking up
When you keep your relationship private, you won’t have to face all of the questions and speculation that will come with a public breakup. So you decide to keep your relationship private.
This way, you can enjoy your time together without worrying about the future.
If things do eventually come to an end, it will be much easier to deal with in private.
You won’t have to face the same level of scrutiny or judgment from friends, family, and the general public.
So if you’re looking for a little peace of mind, keeping your relationship private may be your best option.
Keeping your relationship private might not always be easy if you’re with someone who likes to share their personal details online, but it can still be done.
And when done correctly, it’s sometimes better than revealing everything up front.
Of course, there are also some downsides to keeping your relationship private, not secret.
For example, you may miss out on some support from friends and family members if you’re not sharing details about your relationship with them.
You may have to deal with more nosy questions from people curious about what’s going on in your love life.
There’s no escaping nosy people eh?
Ultimately, whether or not to keep your relationship private is up to you and your partner.
If you’re both comfortable with keeping things between the two of you and a few trusted people, then there’s no reason to change that.
At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you and your partner are happy with how things are.
Your relationship is your business.
It’s personal, intimate, and no one else’s business.
Just so you know, I kept my relationship private until a week before we got married, and I’m glad I did.
Even as a married person, I heavily filter what I share with people and on social media.
It helps, trust me.