”My girlfriend always finds faults in me. Why?”
Keep reading to find answers.
All relationships have their ups and downs.
Dare I say that for some relationships, the fairy tale part lasts only a short while at the beginning of the relationship?
It is succeeded by a period when the harsh reality of life hits you squarely in the face.
Then, you get to see the true version of your partner and the real things that matter in your relationship away from the initial fairytale.
Similarly, they also get to see the true version of themselves.
And that is the most difficult part of a relationship.
Consider this a test you and your partner must take to reach: the next level.
If you fail at it, you may need to call it quits for your good.
During this period of truth, she might find faults in you.
She sees you in your truest form and might not like what she finds out about you.
So, you need to understand why she finds faults in you.
Why Does Your Girlfriend Always Find Faults In You?
Many people tend to be on their best behavior at the onset of a relationship.
There’s always a need to impress the new partner; your true identity is hidden by this need to impress.
But when your real self and character begin to show, it comes with much disappointment.
She finds a lot of faults in you because she has expectations about you that may never be met.
Perhaps, the relationship feels like a burden to her now.
But there may be other reasons why she always finds faults in you.
Let’s look at some of them.
1. She doesn’t want to be with you any longer
She feels that your relationship with her has gotten to its expiry date, so she doesn’t want to be with you any longer.
Then, she finds faults in everything you do.
Do the silliest things piss her off?
When was the last time you had a conversation that didn’t end with both of you throwing things at and yelling at each other?
If you can’t remember, I think the relationship is over from her end.
Perhaps she doesn’t dare to talk about a breakup yet, even though she thinks she deserves a better guy.
2. You did something to upset her
You must have done something to upset her if she always finds faults in you.
Stop and think about what you must have done wrong, especially if she started finding faults in your recently.
You can talk to her if you can’t pinpoint anything you must have done wrong.
Even if she lashes out at you, try to maintain your calmness.
She may count more faults that she finds in you, but if you’re patient with her, you’ll finally be able to have a decent conversation about the problems in your relationship.
But if you know what you did to upset her, you’ll know how to handle the situation.
If you still desire a healthy relationship, you need to apologize to her immediately.
3. She is trying to guilt-trip you
Even if she doesn’t want to break up with you, she may be trying to make you feel guilty.
Here are two ways it can play out:
- You did something that you should feel guilty about
Rather than tell you what you did, she’ll count your faults and make you feel guilty.
You’ll need to look for hints of what you did in her words.
Although she’s very angry with you, it doesn’t mean she wants a breakup.
She just needs you to realize your mistakes and admit to them.
- She’s just being petty
Maybe she wants to make you feel guilty about something that can be overlooked.
It might be her way of dealing with you after you fight with her.
Even if you won the fight with good points backing you, she’ll stick to her points and accuse you of being insensitive.
4. She wants you to become the man of her dreams
Everyone has a picture of how they want their partner to look and act.
In most cases, we form a perfect picture of how our partners should be, and your girlfriend is not exempted from having these fantasies.
And her ideal partner is a good listener, has the right amount of grace and emotions, and has a perfectly sculpted body.
There’s you on the side, who looks nothing like her ideal partner.
You’re real and not just a figment of someone’s imagination.
There’s nothing wrong with you, so do not worry about whatever she has to say about your personality or appearance.
If she doesn’t want to see the perfection in you, it’s on her, not you.
5. She wants you to change for her
It can be that she wants you to change for her.
In line with her having a picture of her perfect partner, she wants you to become that guy so that she can date you comfortably.
It’ll give her great joy if you act like her fantasy partner.
Both of you are from different families and have different upbringings.
Your lines of thought are different, but she still wants your behavior to tilt more toward hers so that you can fit into her world.
Perhaps she feels embarrassed in front of her folks by some of the things you do.
And if you’re desperate to make her happy and remain in her life, you’ll have to kiss your friends and lifestyle goodbye.
6. She is cheating on you
She may be finding new faults in you every day because she found who she feels is a better man and is cheating on you.
May she doesn’t dare to talk about the shift in her feelings.
You need to look out for some changes in her behavior.
She’ll avoid making eye contact with you if she lies about her whereabouts.
It’s a likely sign that she’s cheating on you.
She’ll tell different lies and be unable to maintain a single storyline.
At some point, she’s bound to lose track of the different lies and, in defense, begin to find faults to change the topic.
She’ll want to shift your attention to an unnecessary argument over meaningless things.
7. She misunderstood you
It can all be a misunderstanding.
Perhaps you did or said something with intent,, but she found it offensive.
What did you do?
If you belittled her unknowingly, you need to find other ways to handle your relationship.
There are other forms of misunderstandings too.
It can be that you spend less time together and do not stay with her because of valid, necessary reasons.
If you don’t tell her why you’re spending time away from her, she’ll think that you’re simply avoiding her.
Conclusion
So, how do you deal with the situation if your girlfriend always finds faults in you?
If her complaints and concerns about you are valid, you can try to turn a new leaf.
But if you feel you can’t change for her, make your stance known to her so she can decide whether to stay with you or move on with her life.
If her concerns and complaints are unreasonable, however, talk to her about it.
Make her see that no two people are the same and that everyone is unique in their skin.