“Help!! My son is being manipulated by his girlfriend. He seems to do everything she demands without considering the consequences. It’s as if he’s under a spell. What do I do?”
The responsibilities of being a parent do not end when your kids stop needing you to change their diapers.
It continues into their adult lives.
Even when your children get their partners, you do not completely wash your hands off them.
You are still there as a parent to guide and support them.
So, if your son is manipulated by his girlfriend, it is perfectly normal for you to be concerned about it.
You’re more likely to detect a manipulative and abusive partner faster than your child because you are more experienced and wiser.
So even if your kid thinks he’s in love and happy, you may sense something is off about their relationship because you can see the silent signs.
Sometimes, the signs aren’t even so silent.
It may be glaring to everyone who cares to look that your son is being manipulated.
This is a dicey place to be in because even though it’s dangerous for your son, it can make him have self-esteem, intimacy, and respect issues.
Plus, you can’t outrightly pull him out of the relationship.
You may be wondering what to do and how to approach the situation.
Is it okay for you to confront your son’s girlfriend?
Or should you confront your son first?
How do you step into the situation to help your son and not become his enemy?
Keep reading, and we’ll let you know all you need to know about this.
Your son is precious to you, and you have the best intentions for him, so you can’t just sit back and fold your hands.
But before taking matters into your hands, or asking what you should do about it, you have to be sure he is being manipulated.
”My Son Is Being Manipulated By His Girlfriend” The Signs
1. She Makes Him Do Stuff He Doesn’t Want To Do
One way to detect something wrong in your son’s life is when there’s changed behavior.
When he begins to make decisions and tow the paths he ordinarily wouldn’t, especially negative ones, you can tell that there is an external force behind it.
You may have observed further and seen his decisions coming from the things his girlfriend tells him or the ideas she puts in his head.
2. She Emotionally Manipulates Him
You shouldn’t be eavesdropping on their conversations, but if you have heard them communicate at some point or the other, you may be able to tell.
She seems to be in control all the time, and when she can’t control him, she resorts to crying or telling him he doesn’t love her, making him bend to her demands again.
Some girls do a perfect job manipulating their partners, and crying is a tool that helps them.
3. He Doesn’t Pay Attention To Anything Else
If you have a good relationship with your son, you may notice that his commitment to other aspects of his life keeps going down, and all he does revolves around his girlfriend.
It is a good thing for people in love to spend time together.
But when they neglect other important aspects of their lives like their education, family, friends, and so on for their girlfriends, the relationship is most likely unhealthy.
4. He Is Scared Of Her
We often focus on girls getting abused in their relationships forgetting that boys get abused too.
Do not close your mind to the fact that your son may be getting abused by his girlfriend.
This includes physical abuse.
If you notice that he’s always eager to do her bidding and acts like his world is about to end when he is unable to please her, something is very wrong. He is being manipulated.
My Son Is Being Manipulated By His Girlfriend: The Solution
1. Speak With Your Son
You’re his mother.
You know your kid better than anyone, so you should know how to approach and speak with him.
Do you both have a great relationship and can talk about anything?
Take him out on a nice evening walk or sit with him after dinner and ask about his life.
Gradually direct the conversation to the path you want and make him understand how a healthy relationship is.
Talk to him about walking out of toxic situations and being unashamed about it.
Try not to judge him or sound preachy.
Be compassionate but firm, and do not let your emotions get the best of you.
You must also understand that if he doesn’t open up to you during the first conversation, you haven’t failed.
He may come around after a few times.
2. Get Help From Others
If the case is severe and your son does not seem to be listening to you, you may need to seek some help.
You sure can’t fold your hands and watch your son continually get manipulated without making more effort.
If you have tried to advise him and he did not listen, you may want to request help from your husband, your son’s teacher, his coach, or anyone else he respects or listens to.
3. Wait For It To End By Itself
If the case is not life-threatening or making him adopt toxic behaviors, you can remain patient while you bring it up with him once in a while.
Many toxic relationships do not last.
They die a natural death.
If you have educated your son about healthy relationships and being self-confident, you have nothing to worry about.
He will eventually see the situation for what it is and hopefully end it.
4. Pray For Him
As a mom, I’ve to realize that you can’t control your children, even when they are toddlers.
You can only instruct them; it’s their choice to follow instructions or not.
Now imagine an adult child.
This is when you realize you need a higher power to help you with your children at every point of their lives, in fact, from the womb.
We are just parents, vessels through which our children come to the world, we do not own or control them.
I’m a Christian, I believe in God and His power to fix things I know I can’t fix.
You’ll never know how much you need God until you become a parent.
You love your child more than life and it hurts to see him being manipulated by his girlfriend and you don’t have magical powers to break them up.
What do you do?
Pray for him!
Let God help you.
Set aside your pride and hand your son over to Him as you do play your part.
There isn’t much you can do because it is up to your son to make the decision and walk out of situations that are toxic for him.
However, if you apply the steps above, you will see some differences.
If the situation threatens your son’s health and life, step in and alert the necessary authorities.