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Should I Help My Boyfriend Financially? 8 Things To Consider

Should I Help My Boyfriend Financially? 8 Things To Consider

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Everybody needs help at some point or other in life.

It is okay for a person to need financial help even if they work hard.

When this happens, they are likely to ask for help from the people in their life.

As a lady, if your boyfriend is in a financial situation and needs support, you may be wondering if it is okay to support him.

The question, ‘Should I help my boyfriend financially?’ is a valid question that requires a careful response.

There is nothing wrong with helping your partner since relationships are all about love and support.

But the answer to the question “Should I help my boyfriend financially?” is not an automatic yes.

It depends on your particular situation and relationship.

We have compiled a few things to consider before you help your boyfriend financially.


Should I Help My Boyfriend Financially? Consider These First

1) Do You Have The Ability To?

should i help my boyfriend financially

Before going into if you should support your boyfriend financially, we need to be sure you can do that.

If you are in a financial crisis, you cannot support your boyfriend.

You can not be neck-deep into debt or battling with bills to pay and be thinking about helping someone else.

Your attention should be on coming out of debt and not supporting someone else financially.

You cannot pour from an empty cup, so you must be financially stable to support someone else.

If you do not have money problems, you are financially stable, or even very rich, it still is not an automatic yes.

The fact that you have money does not mean you must support your boyfriend financially.

There are other things to consider.



2) What Does He Need Help With?

Before deciding if you should support your boyfriend financially or not, you must first find out why he needs support.

Is it an urgent need that is verifiable and essential?

Or does he need help to fund a luxurious lifestyle he cannot afford?

If your boyfriend needs financial help for frivolities and unnecessary purchases, the answer is no.

You should not support him financially.

But if he needs help with money for a health need or a legitimate business and will pay you back (if it is a large sum), you should support him if you can afford to.

After all, relationships are about helping each other.



3) Why Does He Need Help?

Every adult should be able to work and pay for their needs.

A person’s work may not make them the richest person in the world, but it should take care of everything they need to survive.

So if your boyfriend is asking for financial help from you, it is essential to find out why.

Why can’t his job take care of the need?

Is it because he is irresponsible and has refused to work, or is he financially indisciplined?

Or is it due to legitimate reasons like unforeseen circumstances?

The reason he needs help is a big factor to consider before helping him.

Helping a man who found himself in an unfortunate situation but is very hard-working and willing to manage the situation well is not wrong.

But helping a financially irresponsible man who is not diligent and not ready to work for his own money will only increase his irresponsibility.



4) How Big Is The Help?

should i help my boyfriend financially

The level of help your boyfriend needs is another factor you must consider.

Helping him buy lunch is different from helping him to pay a loan or buy a car.

If the former is the case, then there is nothing wrong with helping your boyfriend pay for little things whenever the need arises.

But if he needs help with major things like loans, and paying for a house or a car, you then need to take several looks before considering doing it.

You may want to refer him to financial organizations that can help him or make a formal deal stating when he will pay back.



5) How Does It Make You Feel?

Before helping your boyfriend financially, look within and ask yourself how it makes you feel.

Do you find it uncomfortable and weird that he keeps borrowing money from you?

Are you wary of people that always borrow money and see it as a significant character flaw?

If yes, you need to have a conversation with your boyfriend. 

Let him know how you feel about him asking you for money.



6) How Often Does He Require Financial Assistance?

It is normal if he has asked you for money once or twice.

But if it keeps happening and you have been giving him money many times, something is wrong.

It means that he is a liability, not an asset and that already tells you how the future will be if you marry him.

It also shows that he is financially irresponsible and unable to save money.

Hence, this can be a pointer to other things like abuse and manipulation, poverty, disrespect, violence, and so on.

If this is the case, create excuses and delay giving him money.

Someone who asks for money every time is a dangerous sign, and you may need to end the relationship.



7) Support Him In Other Ways

Money is not the only way you can support your boyfriend.

Even if he needs financial assistance, you can support him by encouraging him, suggesting or helping him get a job, plan, or budget, getting information about his credit card bills, call payments, and so on.

You are not his bank and should not portray yourself as one.

If his bank will not give him a loan or money, why should you be the one doing that?

Banks assess risks, you should too!



8) Make Sure You Are Not Being Used

Generally, there is nothing wrong with supporting your boyfriend when there is a need.

It is part of being together and becoming each other’s support system when the world tries to crush you.

You two are supposed to rely on each other, and if he needs your help financially, then it is your duty as his partner to be there for him.

However, it is not normal for you to be his bank or act as his parents.

You are not responsible for his bills, and vice versa.

Be wary when giving to him to avoid being used.

Because money is a sensitive issue even in love relationships, you must be wise when dealing with money.

There are stories of men who collect money from their partners to pay for their houses, only to bring different women into those houses.

Your partner may not be like that, but you must apply caution because life is unpredictable.

You want to be sure that you do not get used or robbed at the end of the day.

Apart from the possibilities of cheating, and getting robbed, “helping” your boyfriend financially all the time reduces his motivation to work and enables any bad conduct.

You do not want that.



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