”My boyfriend is draining me financially!”
If you’re dating a guy who is draining financially, you are in big trouble.
Yes, he might be great in every other way, but he’s constantly asking for money to “help” him pay bills, buy groceries or pay off debt.
If he’s not paying his way (and most of these guys aren’t), there’s a good chance he’ll eventually ask for more and more money from you until you’re completely broke.
It’s okay to want to help the one you love, but you also don’t want to be taken advantage of.
Here are five tips for dealing with a boyfriend who is draining you financially:
”My Boyfriend is Draining Me Financially!” 9 Ways To Stop Him
1. Communicate openly and honestly about your finances
No matter how hard you try, relationships are complicated.
The most important thing to remember is that it’s always worth talking about.
Being open and honest with your partner is key to having a successful relationship.
If you’re feeling taken advantage of financially, don’t hesitate to voice your concerns.
Communication is key to resolving any issue in a relationship, so don’t let one slip by without discussing it.
2. Make a budget—and stick to it
You may not have control over what your boyfriend does with his money, but you can control your finances, starting with making a budget.
Making a budget is important in learning how to handle your finances.
It helps you see how much money you have coming in, how much you’re spending, and what you can afford to do with the rest of your money.
You can also use a budget to see where you’re spending too much and need to find ways to cut back—like going out to eat less or buying fewer clothes.
So if you’re not sure where all your money goes each month or what it’s spent on, make a list of everything from rent and utilities to groceries and entertainment costs.
Then add those expenses for one month and see how much money is left over after all those bills are paid off.
That’s how much money you have left over each month that can go toward fun splurges—like dinner out with friends or tickets to a concert or game—without breaking your budget.
3. Stop giving in when he asks
Know when enough is enough.
Sometimes we let our partners have their way too much because we want them to feel happy and loved.
But sometimes, we must put our foot down and say “no.”
It might be hard at first (for both of you), but once you get used to saying no every now and again, things will get easier — especially if your partner knows you mean business.
If he needs financial help, he should go through the proper channels.
That’s why we have institutions like banks and credit unions.
Tell him that while you love him, he has to go through the right channels if he wants financial assistance.
Stop enabling him!
He’s draining you financially because you let him.
I know this is hard to hear, but it’s not your job to take care of his financial problems.
It’s not your job to be his “personal shopper” or “banker.”
You’re not responsible for taking care of him financially; he should not expect that from you.
4. Make sure he’s contributing financially
You should also make sure that your boyfriend is contributing financially.
If he’s living with you, he should pay rent and utilities or at least help to pay for groceries.
I’m not a fan of living together before marriage because of the many consequences.
It’s easier for your boyfriend to ruin you financially if you are living together because then you’ll be obligated to pay all the bills and he will feel entitled to your money.
So, if you’re living with your boyfriend, make sure he is contributing financially in some way.
And if he’s not, now is the time to start setting boundaries and expectations for him.
If he doesn’t live with you, stop paying for dates or other expenses.
He should be paying his own way; if he can’t, you will have to reevaluate the relationship.
He should understand that you are not his free meal ticket and that you can’t keep paying for everything if he isn’t contributing.
5. Find ways to earn more money
If your boyfriend is financially draining you, start looking for ways to earn extra income for your sake, not for him.
Look for a second job, freelance work, or sell some of your possessions and use the money for yourself instead of him.
Get a flatmate who pays rent so you can save money on the bills.
Open an online store and start selling what you make.
Start a blog or YouTube channel to monetize your passions.
The possibilities are endless.
You have the power to improve your financial situation, and it includes finding ways to make more money.
Your boyfriend can’t drain you financially if you don’t let him, so focus your energy on making money and saving it for yourself.
6. Only spend time with him when necessary
If your boyfriend is financially draining you, only spend time with him when necessary.
Because the more time you spend with him, the more likely you are to give in and keep paying for his expenses.
This means not going out on dates or buying gifts but finding ways to spend time together that don’t involve money.
Go for a walk in the park, watch movies, cook dinner together, or do something else that doesn’t require any money.
You won’t be tempted to spend money if you follow this rule.
7. Desperate times call for desperate measures
If your boyfriend doesn’t have a job or refuses to give up his bad habits, then consider cutting off all contact with him for a few weeks or months so that he has no choice but to find another way of getting money from somewhere else besides you.
This method might sound harsh, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
He must understand that if he doesn’t change his ways, he won’t receive financial help from you.
This might be the wake-up call that he needs to change and take responsibility for his finances.
It’s best to talk honestly with him before resorting to this option.
That way, he’ll understand that your decision is not coming out of the blue.
Hopefully, by cutting off contact with him for some time, he’ll come back to you a changed man and be better able to handle his finances.
Just ask him for space and see if he’ll be serious about working on himself.
8. Have a financial plan or set financial goals for yourself
If you don’t know your financial goals, it will be hard to save money toward them or avoid spending money on frivolous things if they aren’t something you truly want or need in the long term.
It’s hard to avoid spending money when you don’t have any goals set up in your life that will help guide your decisions about what is worth spending on and what isn’t.
Set realistic goals for yourself, such as saving for retirement, investment, or paying off debt, and start saving toward those goals.
Ensure your goals are realistic and achievable so you don’t become discouraged.
Once you have a financial plan, your boyfriend will have nothing to drain.
9. Talk to someone who will help support you in this decision
If your boyfriend is financially draining you and you’re not sure what to do, talk to someone who can support your decision.
It might be a friend, a family member, or a professional.
Someone with an outside perspective can help you make rational decisions and support you when times get tough.
They can also provide emotional and financial advice that will be helpful in the long run.
No matter who it is, remember to talk to someone who has your best interests in mind.
Having someone you can trust on your side will make it easier to protect yourself from financial drainers like your boyfriend.
If you’re dating someone who’s financially irresponsible, it can be tempting to make excuses for them.
But the truth is that if your boyfriend is draining you financially, he doesn’t care about your well-being and might just be using you for money.