Your ex is in town and has asked to meet for coffee.
You have toyed with the idea for sometime and you just do not know what to do.
So, ”Should I meet up with my ex? Should I meet up with my ex for closure?”
The idea of sitting down to a mug of coffee with an old friend who once had your heart sounds nice, thinking and even talking about old times, or may be not.
Or maybe it is not about your ex.
Your probably want to hangout with a friend and your ex asking you just happened to come at the right time.
But you are skeptical because you do not know if it is a good idea to meet up with your ex.
What is it going to look like?
Will you both share a hug, sit down, sip coffee and talk about the weather?
Will you talk about other things like your friends and family, career and jobs, or maybe the fight that led to your breakup?
Will he reach for your cheek and tell you how sorry he is and how he takes responsibility for the fight and wants you back?
Or will it just be a normal friends’ hangout void of tension, unnecessary conversations, and sensitive topics?
You do not know, and quite frankly, you want to find out.
There are other things you want to find out too.
Like how your ex now looks, what they smell like, information about their current life, etc.
We will answer the big question “Should I meet up with my ex?” in this article and help you get rid of confusion and make a decision.
”Should I Meet Up With My Ex?” 8 Things To Consider
To help you make the right decision, here are a few things to consider if you are wondering if you should meet up with your ex or not.
1. What Was Your Relationship Like?
This is the best place to start.
Before accepting to meet up with your ex, go over the past again because it just might hold the answer to your present.
If your relationship with your ex was healthy and normal and it ended it a not too painful way, meeting up with them may not be a bad idea.
But if the relationship was bad, unhealthy, or even toxic, it is not a good idea.
Even if you both are meeting up as just friends, you may want to reconsider it.
Because toxic people are not bad only as partners, they are also bad friends.
You do not want to continue dealing with the same issues from your past relationships again under the excuse of friendship.
The dynamics of your previous relationship with your ex is a great determinant as to whether you should meet up with them again or not.
2. What Is Your Relationship Like?
Have you been in contact with your ex since the breakup?
Have you both been cordial and friendly, maintaining a good platonic relationship?
Or did they just come out of the blues one day and are asking to see you?
The fact that you dated a person in the past does not mean that you know who they are now and you can completely vouch for them and trust them.
You must consider your current relationship with them and be sure you trust them enough to meet up with them.
3. The Purpose Of The Meeting
This is one of the first things you should think about.
Why do they want to meet with you?
To talk? To discuss something? To discuss business? Or just to hang out?
The purpose for the meeting should tell you if you should meet or not.
4. What Are Your Intentions?
You may not be able to accurately say what your ex’s intentions are, but you can search yourself and honestly tell yourself what your motives are.
If he is asking to hangout with you just as a friend and your intentions are geared towards getting back with him or even making out, maybe you should stay back at home.
Your intentions are a great pointer to whether you are meet up or not.
5. Can You Handle It?
Another thing you should consider before consenting to meeting up with your ex is your ability to handle the meeting.
Consider your emotions and healing state.
Are you completely healed from the breakup?
If you were to meet up with him and he handed you a copy of his wedding invitation card, how would you react?
Would you burst into tears or have a fit?
If your reaction would be close to either of these, then you can not handle meeting your ex just yet.
6. What Kind Of Person is Your Ex?
Some people are immature, condescending, and irresponsible and when you cut ties with them, it should remain so.
If you take any opportunity to meet with them, it will be a disaster and you will end up with regrets.
From your past relationship with your ex, you already know if he is like that.
Save yourself drama and stress by turning down their invitation.
7. Is He Dating Again? / Are You Dating Again?
Old flames can not be trusted.
Thus, if your ex is in another relationship or you are in a new relationship, it is wise not to hang out unless it is for something formal and important.
You may not be able to completely trust yourself or predict what can happen when you’re with them.
So eliminate the chances of anything happening by not even meeting them at all.
8. Where Are You Meeting Up?
If your ex asked that you meet him in his house, it may not be wise to consent to that.
However, if it is in a public place or with a mutual friend, that is safer and more reasonable.
It is important to factor in all of the main situations surrounding you and your ex before deciding if you should meet them or not.
Sometimes, you may know the truth and be aware that due to the different factors surrounding your relationship with your ex, it is not advisable to meet them.
But you may still ignore all the signs and proceed.
Do not let that happen.
Before you decide to meet up, be sure to rightly consider everything discussed above.