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13 Major Signs A Man Is Unhappy In His Marriage

13 Major Signs A Man Is Unhappy In His Marriage

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What can make a man unhappy in his marriage?

Love, I mean ”the butterflies in the belly” kind of feeling, is fleeting, and while this is true for every relationship, it is very noticeable in marriages.

For this reason, it can be hard to figure out whether your marriage is just going through a slow phase or your man is truly unhappy in your marriage.

You might even be shocked that he’s prepared to leave the marriage for his sanity.

So, we’ve listed below some evident signs that a man is unhappy in his marriage and some things you can do as a wife if you spot these signs in your marriage.

Have a pleasant read!

13 Signs A Man Is Unhappy In His Marriage

1. He doesn’t spend quality time with you anymore

Signs a man is unhappy in his marriage

While you might not be entitled to all the time your husband has to spare, it’s understandable that work, kids, and other commitments can take up a lot of his time.

However, if your husband constantly avoids quality time with you or makes excuses not to spend time together, it could be a sign that he is unhappy in the marriage.

It appears you’re taking second place in his life, as he always has something else to do or somewhere else to go before attending to you.

If you manage to get him to spend some of his free time with you, you’ll notice that his mind is miles away from you.

His mind is miles away because you forced him to spend time with you, and he’s cooperating with you only to fulfill an obligation.

If your marriage ever gets to this point, there’s something wrong somewhere, and both of you should make time to fix it.

While it may not necessarily mean that he is unhappy in the marriage, it’s a very likely sign, especially if it has been happening for a long time.

 

2. Your Sexual Relationship With Him In The Marriage Is Dead

Signs A Man Is Unhappy In His Marriage

 

Sometimes, married life can become very hectic, and sex will be the last thing on your mind as you deal with the more serious issues of life.

However, couples who have a good relationship will make an effort to spend some good time together and enjoy themselves whenever the pressure of life eases up on them.

A married couple will try to spice up their sex life and make it more fun in a bid to express their love and commitment towards each other, even when their sexual desires have reduced greatly.

Anyone of you can make a move for sex in your marriage.

And so, it becomes alarming when your man doesn’t ask you for sex at all.

Worse still is when he turns you down or gets angry whenever you make the first move.

It’s one of the signs a man is unhappy in his marriage.

He begins to grow distant slowly and loses interest in having sexual relations with you.

 

3. He Is Not Worried Anymore Whenever You Share Your Problems With Him

One of the signs a man is unhappy in his marriage is that he doesn’t feel bothered by your problems anymore.

A married couple with a healthy relationship between them is normally there for and looking out for each other.

Your husband is meant to listen to you rant about your problems and help you seek out solutions for them, just as you will do for him.

So, it’s right to raise an eyebrow if he’s not bothered when you’re talking about your problems.

It’s even worse if he’s unsympathetic and acts aloof about the situation.

If your husband still loves you, he’ll show some concern and care about what you’re going through.

But a man who is unhappy in his marriage will show no emotions, no matter how hurt you are.

 

4. Laughter Is A Thing Of The Past In Your Marriage

Signs A Man Is Unhappy In His Marriage

 

When was the last time you and your husband had a burst of hearty laughter together?

Can’t remember?

It’s been a long time since both of you laughed together.

That’s sad.

A big indication of a loving and healthy relationship is the presence of laughter.

You must not laugh at every little thing.

Nobody wants to sit around all day making jokes.

However, it’s important to be able to freely laugh with your husband, as this shows that you are comfortable with each other.

So, ask yourself some questions if you and your husband laughed together eons ago and he’s not interested either to join in your laughter.

 

5.  Silence Is A Common Language Between You Both

Have you noticed that there’s been a lot of silence between you and your husband lately?

And we’re not talking about the comfortable kind, but the awkward and tense kind.

Silence is often used as a coping mechanism in relationships when communication breaks down.

But when it becomes the common language between you both, it’s a red flag that something isn’t right.

Communication is key in any relationship and if you find yourself avoiding talking to your husband or he avoids talking to you, you’re no longer a happy couple. 

 

6. Ignoring Each Other Has Become The Norm

Habits I Stopped to Make Our Marriage More Peaceful

Do you remember when you first got married and couldn’t go a day without texting or calling each other just to say “I love you”?

But now, days can go by without any form of communication between you both.

You find yourselves lost in your own worlds, barely acknowledging each other’s presence.

This is a sign that the connection and intimacy in your relationship have faded away.

Ignoring each other has become the norm, and it’s not a healthy one.

Since he is the unhappy one, the ignoring is probably coming from him, but since it takes two to tango, you might find yourself reciprocating this behavior.

Before you know it, your marriage has become a silent war zone where neither of you is willing to make the first move toward reconciliation.

 

7. Lack Of Physical Affection

There’s more to physical intimacy than just sex.

It’s all the little touches, hugs, and kisses that keep a relationship going.

Most of us women even prefer these types of affection over sexual intimacy.

But when you’re in a loveless marriage, physical affection is often nonexistent.

You may find yourself craving even just a simple hug from your husband, but he rarely initiates or reciprocates it.

 

8. Constant Criticism

Signs of An Opportunist Husband

They say hurt people hurt people, and unfortunately, that is true for a man who is unhappy in his marriage.

He may lash out and criticize you for the smallest things, trying to bring you down to his level of misery.

Remember what they say about misery? 

It loves company.

His constant criticism can chip away at your self-esteem and make you feel like you’re not good enough.

As a result, you may find yourself constantly walking on eggshells around him, afraid of setting off another round of hurtful comments.

 

9. Refusal To Work On Issues

No relationship is perfect, and every couple will face challenges at some point.

But what do we do when those challenges arise?

A healthy and committed partner will work with you to find a solution.

However, an unhappy husband may refuse to even acknowledge the issues or make any effort towards resolving them.

He may brush off your concerns and shut down any attempts at communication.

You’ll even be frustrated by his lack of willingness to work on the relationship, leaving you feeling stuck and alone in your efforts to improve things.

 

10. He’s Developed Some Bad Habits

Some men resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms when they are unhappy in a relationship.

Depending on the kind of person your husband is, he may turn to alcohol, drugs, or even excessive working as a way to deal with his dissatisfaction.

Anything to distract him from the problems at hand and avoid confronting them.

 

11. He’s Cheating

Reasons Husbands Stop Taking Initiative in the Bedroom

A word of caution here: I’m not saying every man who is unhappy in a relationship will cheat or that a man who cheats is always unhappy.

But we can’t rule out the possibility that an unhappy husband is more likely to cheat.

After all, if you are full, why would you go looking for food somewhere else?

If your husband is unhappy with you, he may seek validation and satisfaction from someone else.

Cheating may seem like an easy way out of dealing with relationship issues, but it often causes more harm than good.

 

12. He’s Simply Not In Love Anymore

Unfortunately, sometimes the reason why a husband is unhappy in his marriage is simply because he has fallen out of love.

This can happen for various reasons: lack of communication, growing apart, changed priorities – but the end result is the same: he no longer feels the same way about you as he did before.

It may be hard to accept, but sometimes people fall out of love.

I believe the solution is to find ways to rekindle love, not falling in love with another person who may or may not be the right one for you.

Marriage requires work and effort from both parties and falling in love is just the beginning – staying in love takes dedication and commitment.

 

13. Blaming You for Everything

Of course, someone has to take the blame for his unhappiness, and unfortunately, you have become the scapegoat.

Even if you are not responsible for his unhappiness, he may try to find ways to blame you for everything that goes wrong in his life.

He may make you feel responsible for his unhappiness and use it as an excuse for his negative behavior.

 

What To Do

Here are some of the things you can do to help if your husband is unhappy in the marriage

1. Analyse the issues in your marriage

Signs A Man Is Unhappy In His Marriage

 

If your husband is unhappy, the first step towards redeeming your marriage is to assess the issues plaguing it.

You need a clear understanding of what you’re facing so you can make headway.

If possible, jot down the things you feel are the root causes of the problems in your marriage.

It’ll help you make realizations that would have ordinarily escaped your notice.

Even when you’re making painful discoveries, which can be that you contributed to the problems in your marriage, try not to back away from your quest.

It’s a good step in the right direction.

 

2. Talk with him about it

Signs A Man Is Unhappy In His Marriage

 

When you’ve gotten to the root of the issues, try to get your husband to talk with you.

He might be hesitant at first or even ignore you completely but don’t nag or act harshly.

Keep pressing him gently till he gives in.

Even if he doesn’t, let him know that you’re open and ready to talk whenever he is ready.

When he is finally ready to talk, let him feel heard throughout the conversation.

To achieve this, try not to make the conversation about you and your feelings.

Listen to what he has to say; there are probably a lot of things that he needs to say that you don’t know.

Talk about the issue at hand from your point of view, let him know that you don’t know all the sides of the story, and let him share his side of the story.

While he does, listen attentively and think well about the things he has to say.

Take all the time you need to process all that you heard before sharing your side of the story.

 

3. Renew your vows to each other

Because we tend to become too familiar with each other, relationships and marriages tend to have many problems.

Recommitting to the marriage is a good way to reengage your husband in your marriage.

Renew your vows to each other.

After everything that happened between you, you’re now different people and need to recommit to each other.

You can take the first step by listing the things you’re willing to do to make the marriage work and ensure that you keep to them.

If he has any love left for you, he’ll follow your steps and make your marriage work again.

 

4. Seek couple counseling

If you can’t reach each other and the situation looks bleak, it’s best to seek help from a professional.

Counseling can help you understand the root of your issues and how to tackle them effectively.

You’ll also gain insight into each other’s points of view and learn ways to communicate better. 

Take time out of your busy schedule to attend counseling and make sure that you both commit to it.

That way, you’ll be able to build a strong foundation for rebuilding your marriage. 

 

5. Spend quality time together 

Things I Stopped Doing to Show More Respect to My Husband

One of the best ways to reconnect with each other is to spend quality time together. 

Whether it’s a romantic dinner, a day trip, or a relaxing massage, set aside time to enjoy each other’s company.

Take a break from everyday life and let go of any stress. 

This way, you can unwind and share some intimate moments that will remind you why you fell in love with each other in the first place. 

 

6. Rekindle your romance

When Your Man Is Not Romantic: Things To Do

It’s easy to let the romance slip away when you’ve been married for a while. 

But it’s important to keep things spicy and rekindle the flame of your love. 

Plan date nights, send each other sweet notes, or buy gifts to show your love. 

These simple gestures can help keep the spark alive, and you’ll be reminded of why you fell in love in the first place. 

 

Conclusion

No woman is ever happy to find out that her husband is unhappy in the marriage.

In most cases, while the woman runs around trying to find ways to make her marriage work, the man sits back and does nothing to help.

If you’re facing this problem in your marriage and you love your husband, try as much as you can to not give up on your marriage, especially if he still loves you deeply.

Making a marriage work is no child’s play.

Also, it takes two to tango.

If your husband does not cooperate with you to work toward improving your marriage, he’ll only frustrate your efforts.

You need all the strength, bravery, patience, and understanding you can get.

 

 

 

 

 

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Betty

Friday 21st of June 2024

Thank you for Sharing such powerful council. God bless you

Siphokazi

Sunday 12th of May 2024

Im married for 11 yrs now but only 2yrs in marriage the rest of the yrs he's been cheating to-date*and that affected children

CC

Saturday 23rd of March 2024

Thank you for this . I appreciate the article. I found a lot of my marital situations in the writing. Such as getting angry when you initiate intimacy, being aloof, not really caring etc. idk if my husband is cheating but he seems miserable at times. He isn’t interested in me personally but what I can do for him like be a secretary or a maid, or a dog sitter. We’ve been together since highschool , married 7 years, no kids. I hope he doesn’t feel obligated to be with me bc his family likes me. If I were to leave it would be a clean break. I asked him to go to counseling with me and he refuses. I feel like a counselor would get to the bottom of things fairly fast . He doesn’t want to talk about the marriage with me alone. I feel like he don’t want to be with me but he doesn’t want me to leave either. If the marriage is over it’ll be me who leaves. Bc he doesn’t want to seem like the bad guy. Idk but thank you for this article.

Mabel's Blog

Sunday 24th of March 2024

So sorry about your experience. It's so hard dealing with a spouse who resists every effort to make things work. I hope he changes before it's too late.

Hellen

Thursday 3rd of August 2023

Serve him with divorce papers on Christmas Eve am. I did. That was the only time I knew he would be home. He was shocked to say the least. He thought for sure he was getting away with his double life. His girlfriend ended up dying from cancer and he got prostate cancer before our divorce was over. Can you spell Karma?

Hannah

Monday 12th of December 2022

Such a great piece. Keep up the good work❣️.

Mabel's Blog

Monday 12th of December 2022

Thank you!