What makes a man unhappy in a relationship is subjective, as people have different things that make them happy and unhappy.
However, as humans, we are more alike than we think.
Almost every unhappy married man displays at least one of the signs that we will be considering in this article.
If you have been feeling that your husband is unhappy in the marriage, this could be what saves your marriage from totally toppling.
When your husband no longer finds happiness in the marriage, these signs might manifest themselves even without him knowing.
He may distance himself from you without even realizing it, and that’s exactly why it’s so important for you to notice them.
7 Signs A Married Man Is Not Happy
1. He rarely spends quality time with you
Marriage doesn’t make you entitled to all your husband’s free time, but you are actually entitled to a huge chunk of it.
And in happy marriages, wives often get what they are entitled to or even more.
So, you may ask why it seems like yours is different.
The simple answer may be that your husband is unhappy in the marriage and doesn’t see any need to spend time with you, especially if it usually ends up in an unpleasant fiasco.
If it seems like your husband is always somewhere doing something important, you may need to start contemplating what could have turned you into someone that your husband avoids, like the plague.
Ooh… he sometimes spends quality time with you?
Are those times actually quality, or is he just with you bodily while his mind is elsewhere?
It is called quality time for a reason.
Partners spend quality time to express their love for each other.
If you don’t feel loved after spending quality time with your husband, perhaps you are married to a man who is unhappy in the marriage.
2. Your sex life is non-existent
Marriage can be painted as a blissful paradise, but married life can be quite hectic, and sometimes even the best of couples may hardly find time for sexual intimacy.
However, in every happy relationship, a couple always sets aside time to have a little bit of fun.
Here and there.
Even elderly couples in happy relationships still make time for sexual intimacy with themselves.
This is why it is alarming if you find yourself in a situation where your husband never initiates sex, and most of the time, he avoids you when you try to initiate it.
This is a sign that he has grown so distant from you, and one of the major causes of such distance between married couples is unhappiness in the marriage.
If he is unhappy in the marriage, making love doesn’t seem to be an option he would readily consider for all the obvious reasons.
3. He is not bothered by your problems
One of the major perks of marriage is access to ready-made and free therapy sessions when you are going through tough times.
In a healthy marriage, couples are there for each other and provide a listening ear and emotional support for each other.
However, when a man is unhappy in his marriage, he begins to display what could be termed an “I don’t care” attitude toward your problems.
Even when you talk to him about them, he mostly seems to be listening absently and absolutely providing no solution.
This is a sign of immense trouble in the marriage, and it gets even worse if he is unsympathetic and aloof.
If you notice this in your relationship with your husband, it may be a sign that he is unhappy.
4. He doesn’t get into fights with you
If he doesn’t get into fights with you, it means there is peace, right?
So, why should there be an issue with peace reigning in the marriage?
The thing is, arguments can sometimes do a whole lot of good to your marriage, and the absence of them doesn’t always signify peace.
Sometimes, it means your husband is so indifferent about you that he couldn’t care less about anything you did, even if he tried.
The complete absence of any form of argument is a dangerous thing in any relationship.
It means that he no longer cares enough to disagree with you and resolve disagreements.
You shouldn’t go and pick fights with your husband, but understanding why he seems so complacent in the relationship is key to getting your happy marriage back.
5. He picks fights with you over the littlest things
You may feel like this is a contradiction because of the sign above; however, hear me out while I make my case.
Arguments are supposed to be normal occurrences in marriage.
However, it becomes highly abnormal when there is an absence of argument or too much argument.
If you argue too much over the littlest things with your husband, it means that there is something wrong with the relationship.
It means that he really is at the end of his patience, and he is unhappy with the marriage.
To resolve this, you need to figure out where things went wrong and the best way to make things right.
6. He is very concerned about his privacy and space
Marriage actually involves you sharing your space with your partner a lot of the time.
However, this doesn’t mean couples shouldn’t have their privacy.
When a man is unhappy in his marriage, he takes the need for privacy and space even further.
He stops sharing his phone with you.
He’s changed the password to his email and social media accounts.
It’s not a problem if he didn’t share it with you in the beginning.
It only becomes one when he used to do it, and then he stopped it.
Maybe he’s communicating with someone else, or maybe he doesn’t want to be associated with you.
7. You observe signs he’s cheating, and he doesn’t seem to care
Men cheat for different reasons, and unhappiness is one of them.
It’s normal to feel hurt when you suspect he may be unfaithful, but what makes it worse is when he seems to not care that you know.
He doesn’t seem bothered that you questioned him about it or, even more so, accused him of cheating.
He might even tell you to go ahead and do your worst.
Steps You Can Take To Mend Your Marriage
Now that I have pointed out the signs, it won’t be right to leave you to figure out what to do all alone.
Here are some steps that you can take to mend your marriage if your husband is unhappy:
1. Discover the issues in your relationship
The first thing you need to do after observing that there is something wrong with your relationship is to assess the exact identity of the issues plaguing the relationship.
Take a moment to really think about how and where the whole issue started.
Your marriage didn’t start on this note… So, what changed?
You could get a notebook to write down everything you can think of.
Don’t back away from making painfully honest observations.
2. Figure out how much you have been complicit in bringing your marriage into the present state
This is quite important.
Understanding the role you played in your relationship’s decline is key to discovering what to do to restore the relationship to its ideal state.
Did you abuse his feelings or break his trust?
Have you just been so busy with “you” that you have never stopped to consider him?
There are a lot of things that can make a man unhappy in his marriage.
You need to take responsibility for each of your actions and their impact on the relationship, regardless of how small they may seem.
3. Talk to him
When you think you have finally figured it out, you need to summon up the resolve to talk to him about it.
He may be hesitant or dismissive.
But don’t give up, and don’t push back so hard that you’re nagging.
All you need to do is open the door for the conversation and indicate that you are ready to have the conversation when he is.
Talk to him about how he feels and listen attentively.
Try not to interrupt or appear disparaging of his feelings.
You can also talk about how you have felt in the relationship.
Chances are, what you need in your relationship is actually just some good, honest conversation where everyone is listening attentively.
4. Recommit to the relationship
This should be done by the both of you.
Relationships turn sour because sometimes we get too familiar with each other and forget all the special things that first drew us in.
One of the best ways to recommit to your relationship is to renew your vows.
You can also do this by saying the things you are willing to change for the relationship to be better and actually doing them.
These are tested and trusted steps to making an unhappy marriage come alive again.
I hope it does the same in your marriage.
What if you are the unhappy married man?
The same principle applies to you.
Figure out why you are unhappy in your marriage and take steps to change it.