I won’t lie to you…
Many guys out there will remain in a relationship with you just because you are convenient for them.
You are not asking for too much, and even when he doesn’t meet your little expectations, you seem willing to let things go.
This kind of guy will stick to you even if he isn’t attracted to you because you are the kind of girl that is just convenient for him.
It is sad, but most of the time, reality is sad.
Sometimes, you get the feeling that the guy you are with doesn’t really love you.
At other times, you feel like the most loved woman on earth.
This brings to mind a line from Pablo Neruda’s poem…
“Tonight I can write the saddest lines. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.”
Like Pablo Neruda, you love the guy but only feel like he loves you sometimes.
Despite all the good times you seem to be having in the relationship, there is this niggling doubt about the depth of his feelings for you.
You sometimes feel like he may not be as enamored with you as he professes.
You even feel like he may be with you because you are convenient to be with…
And you don’t want to believe it.
I wouldn’t, too, if I were in your shoes.
However, you must know with all certainty if he is truly with you because he loves you or because it is convenient for him.
Let’s put that particular guy on the stand and examine his actions objectively.
Come along!
8 Unmistakable Signs He Is Using You For Convenience
1. You are never a priority
I know it’s tough being this brutally honest with yourself, but it’s the only way to save yourself the heartache of being someone who is only using you for convenience.
So, honestly, answer the question…
Do you feel you are a priority to him?
If you answer this question ‘yes,’ you are safe.
If it’s not, there is one thing involved…
He is most likely just with you because you are the most convenient choice for him.
Look, one of the biggest signs a guy is using for convenience is that you are never at the top of his list of priorities…
You may not even be on the list.
So, don’t get your hopes up.
He has a subtle way of making you oblivious to the fact that you are not a priority to him.
He might cancel plans with you at the last minute with barely an explanation and no apologies.
He usually expects you to understand that he has to attend to important things.
Then there’s also the fact that he always seems to have something more important to do than spend time with you.
So, it ends up feeling like he only spends time with you when he needs you for something.
It feels like every time he spends time with you, hangs out with you, or calls you, he has an ulterior motive—something he wants you to do for him.
I had this neighbor in school who only called his girlfriend when he wanted to have sex.
They continued dating when she graduated and left the vicinity, but the guy usually invited other girls to the house to satisfy his desires.
Last I heard, he had broken up with her because she was no longer as available as she used to be.
When a guy doesn’t treat you as a priority except when he wants something from you, it is a sign that he only uses you for convenience and nothing else.
2. Everything has to be done his way
One way to know a guy who is only using you for convenience?
He always wants everything to be just the way he wants it.
He doesn’t care about your satisfaction.
His satisfaction is all that should matter.
All your plans may seem to revolve around his schedule.
He expects you to sacrifice to stay in the relationship while he does nothing.
You only hang out when it is convenient for him.
When it is inconvenient for you, he still guilt trips you into hanging out with him.
He rarely ever compromises on anything.
Everything has to be done his way.
If you realize that your man has never met you halfway, it is a sign that he may just be using you for convenience.
3. He doesn’t put any effort into the relationship
A relationship is supposed to be a two-way street…
I have no doubt that this is the ideal relationship plan, with both partners contributing equally to the relationship.
However, if he is using you for convenience, one of the first things you will notice is his lack of effort.
He is not fully invested in the relationship, and regardless of what he says about his feelings for you, his actions tell you otherwise.
A relationship is not supposed to feel like a burden, but if yours is beginning to feel like a burden because you are the only one putting effort into it, it is a sign that he is just there to pass the time.
This lack of effort could range from indifference during date planning to disappearing when you need his help the most.
A friend had this boyfriend who always disappeared whenever she needed him.
He would disappear for weeks, refusing to pick up calls and reply to texts until he suddenly reappeared in her life with a story about how he was going through a really tough time.
I told her I knew the game he was playing intimately.
He was a fairweather partner…
Always around for the good times, but at the hint of a storm, he dives for shelter and waits for things to get better for her before popping out with another story.
When a man is genuinely committed to the relationship, he wants to support you.
He stands by you when things seem like they are not going well.
Apart from this, there’s also the kind of guy who hardly ever pays for anything.
He goes on dates with you but conveniently forgets to bring cash or a debit card with him.
So, you have to pay even when he promises to refund you.
Well, he also conveniently forgets the promise.
If a guy does this to you all the time, it is a sign he is only with you because you are convenient.
He is not ready to invest his efforts and money in your relationship.
4. He avoids deep conversations
I used to prefer the casual relationship thing…
The fact that it was all “vibes and inshallah” – Nigerian slang for basically trying your luck – was very attractive to me.
In this case, I was all for getting into relationships without any serious plans and seeing what happens.
That was my style.
And one thing I avoided in such relationships was deep conversations.
In fact, once I noticed the mood was getting serious, I would find something fun to do or just run away.
My point is that when a guy is using you for convenience, your conversations with him are kept at surface level.
He avoids discussing the future and deep conversations about his feelings for you.
The reason is that while you can glibly say “I love you,” there are certain things you can’t fake in a deep conversation.
He wants to avoid being found out.
When a guy avoids deep conversations with you, it is a sign that he doesn’t have long-term plans for the relationship.
5. He’s not interested in your life
A major sign he is using for convenience?
He is not interested in your life.
He is not interested in really getting to know you.
He doesn’t show any curiosity about how your day goes or interest in your dreams.
You know how you react when perfect strangers start telling you about things that are not your business?
You act like you are listening and even interject in the appropriate places if you want to be polite.
That’s his exact reaction when you tell him stuff about yourself.
He pretends to listen to you but isn’t exactly listening to you.
Sometimes, he may even cut you off and start talking about something else.
Whether he pretends to listen or cuts you off rudely, the fact is that if he shows little interest in your life and only talks about himself, it’s a sign that he’s not truly invested in you as a person.
6. He is inconsistent
Electric supply used to be very inconsistent in my community.
We could go a week without a wink of light.
I recently returned home after being gone for quite some time, and to my greatest surprise, the electricity was now very reliable.
My point is that if you are dating a guy using you for convenience, he is as inconsistent as our power supply used to be.
The only thing you can rely on him to be is unreliable.
That’s how bad it is.
His actions are all over the place.
One day, he’s all over you; the next, he’s distant and unresponsive.
He is simply hot today and cold the next day.
This behavior can be so confusing.
Which is why you sometimes don’t even know if you are in a relationship.
Someone asks you, “Are you in a relationship?” and the only suitable response is “It is complicated”.
You are feeling so insecure in the relationship.
Sometimes, he is incommunicado for days at a time for no reason, and at other times, he is fully in touch with you.
If a man is inconsistent in his actions in the relationship, the odds are he is just using you for convenience.
7. He doesn’t introduce you to his family and friends
In a serious relationship, he will want you to meet with his family and friends.
In fact, he will be proud to show you off to all of them.
Once, a young boy was discussing one of his new catches with a friend.
He said the girl wasn’t beautiful, but she was very physically endowed, so he couldn’t resist having a taste of her.
But he said, ” This is not the kind of girl I want to be seen with. If my friends see her with me, they will laugh at me”.
So, he made sure she never met any of his friends.
Apart from the fact that introducing you to his family and friends is a sign that he is proud of you, it is also a sign that he is serious about the relationship.
However, this is not an infallible sign of commitment because several guys have introduced ladies to their families and friends without anything serious resulting from it.
However, when a guy doesn’t even attempt to introduce you to family and friends, it is a sign that he doesn’t see you as a long-term partner.
He is merely using you for convenience.
8. You feel taken for granted
Ultimately, when he is using you for convenience, you will feel taken for granted.
This is because he actually takes you for granted.
You are calling a man who hasn’t bothered to communicate in days, and he says you are disturbing him?
You are not.
You are just asking for the barest minimum, and he is not ready to give it.
He disregards your opinions and only cares about his satisfaction.
He doesn’t support you.
He even finds it hard to pay for the food that he eats when you go on dates.
He only has time for you when he wants something from you…
Sex, money, or both!
Look, the ultimate sign he is using you for convenience is that you feel taken for granted.
You are not making up the feeling.
That’s the way he treats you…
Like you are expendable and you let him do this to you.
Are you not loved at home?
I know you probably feel strongly about him, but if he isn’t reciprocating, there’s no point in trying to hold on to something that doesn’t exist.
He is using you for convenience because you have made yourself available.
You need to rescind that privilege.
Prioritize your welfare and move on from that relationship.
Don’t waste your time, energy, and emotions, Queen!