Generally, you immediately rush out when you jump into hot water.
What if you step into cold or lukewarm water and gradually turn up the heat?
The first feeling that accompanies stepping into lukewarm water is comfort and relaxation.
It becomes so enabling an environment that you’ll hardly even notice that the heat is being turned up slowly until it becomes too hot for you and burns you.
This analogy represents the kind of relationship you have with a guy who thinks he owns you.
At first, certain controlling behaviors are subtle and disguised as loving and protective until you wake up one day and discover that your life isn’t yours anymore and that you barely recognize yourself.
Men who think they own you don’t always come with tags or warning signs on their foreheads.
So how do you know when a man thinks he owns you?
What are the signs he thinks he owns you you should look out for?
8 Signs He Thinks He Owns You
1) He’s unnecessarily overprotective
Caring for you and your safety isn’t the same as controlling you.
It’s normal for your guy to worry about you when you’re out, but if he constantly “checks up” on you and gets mad if you fail to respond immediately he calls or checks up on you, you might want to take a step back and think hard because that’s not a good sign.
While these behaviors on their own might not mean anything, if your man repeatedly acts this way and throws tantrums, including reaching out to your family and friends each time you don’t respond to his calls, he most likely thinks he owns you.
2) He invades and violates your privacy
You have the right to your private life; if you choose to protect this right, you are not unloving or selfish.
A man who thinks he owns you may read your texts and demand your social media login details so as to keep track of your activities on social media.
“If you have nothing to hide, why wouldn’t I have those?”
“Don’t you trust me?”
“Do this to show me that I can trust you.”
“Be transparent with me.”
All these statements and questions are plots to guilt-trip you into doing what he wants.
It’s never about trusting you or being transparent with him.
It’s about his need to own and control you.
3) He doesn’t take “no” for an answer
When your guy refuses to accept “no” from you, when he gets angry or upset at you for telling him no, it may be because he thinks he owns you, and as someone he owns and is superior to, you must not say no to him.
He may get angry or upset at you for telling him no, or he may repeatedly try to make you change your mind or make it extremely painful for you to keep going against his wishes by giving you the cold shoulder or silent treatment.
If he behaves in any of these ways when you tell him no, there’s a high chance he thinks he owns you.
If you’re scared of saying ‘no’ to your man for whatever reason, even if it’s just a gut feeling, you need to pay more attention so as to understand the reason because it’s usually a sign that you are under his control.
4) He gets angry if he sees you talking with another guy
It could be your classmate from school, a co-worker, the delivery guy, the old man who lives down the street, or even a kind and friendly neighbor.
You talk to another guy, and he asks why you are talking to them.
Or worse, he might sulk and stop talking to you for days so as to “pass a message” or even go the extreme length of fighting the guy you were talking with.
Please keep in mind that this isn’t about you.
It’s all about him and his insecurities – things he alone can and should deal with.
While it’s natural to feel jealous of any potential romantic rivals in a relationship, those feelings of jealousy must be talked about and handled in a healthy way.
Giving the silent treatment, giving the cold shoulder, and sulking about it aren’t healthy ways of dealing with jealousy.
Even if you decide not to talk to other men or let them come close to you, it should be your decision, not because you are afraid of your boyfriend and what he might do to you.
5) He always wants to have a say in your decisions
In short, every decision of yours about anything in your life is a reflection of his input.
Being attentive and responsive to the woman you are dating is one of the cutest things ever.
Every woman, even the highly independent and opinionated ones, could do with one or two honest pieces of advice or input, especially from the man in her life.
But pressure and control must not be mistaken for paying attention.
You want to make a short weekend trip to see an aunt or a friend?
”Oh no, no, no. You don’t have the time.”
Your business idea?
”You can’t possibly be thinking of starting something that will sap your energy and keep you too busy and stressed. No.”
You want to meet your boss and negotiate for a raise?
”No. What do you need a raise for? Is your salary not enough for you as a woman?”
These statements don’t sound like someone who wants to make an input.
They sound a lot like someone who thinks he owns you and should dictate and control every move and decision of yours.
6) He micromanages you
There’s a considerable difference between connecting with a lady you are involved with and directing or commanding her.
Does he demand or constantly suggest that you wear certain clothes, go to certain places, meet or not meet certain people irrespective of your opinion and views?
Do you feel he’s someone who constantly pushes his own agenda and shoves his ideas and opinion down your throat?
Does he make major decisions that affect the future of your relationship without ever asking for and considering your views and opinions?
Have you noticed that you constantly defend and explain yourself to get him to see your unique ideas and opinions and connect with you?
And even when you try hard to explain yourself, he still doesn’t understand, and you are forced to do things his way?
If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then you might be dealing with a partner who thinks he owns you and who thinks you are nothing but his property.
7) He isolates you from your friends/family
A man who thinks he owns you will try to make you feel as if anything you do or anybody you hang out with, other than himself, is a distraction and a disruption to the life you have together.
Sadly, in most cases, these “disruptions” and “distractions” are often your family, friends, hobbies, or any other thing that matters to you as an individual.
You may want to meet up with a friend or a family member for a dinner party or casual hang out.
You tell your man, and he feels insecure and threatened and tries to make you feel bad about your choice.
He may give you the silent treatment, cold shoulders, complain about how much time you “waste” with your so-called family and friends, or let you see how your loved ones aren’t perfect fits for you.
Let’s get this clear.
If you are beginning to dance to his tune, remember that your family, friends, and hobbies aren’t disruptive and aren’t the problem.
The problem is your boyfriend.
He thinks he owns you.
His actions are ways to isolate you from others who love you and put you directly and completely under his control.
8. He stalks you
You notice he follows you everywhere and stops by your workplace every day unannounced just to “check up on you.”
You have a new follower on Facebook, and he’s asking you who he is and the kind of relationship you share with him.
You share a picture on Instagram, and he starts questioning why you had to share that kind of picture in the first place.
You visit a family friend in a nearby city, and somehow, you meet him on the road, and you are surprised.
He tells you it’s pure coincidence.
I agree that coincidence happens, but so does stalking.
If you start feeling uneasy and like you are being watched, if you feel like you can’t move an inch without him showing up to “check on you,” ask questions, and demand explanations, there’s a high chance he’s stalking you because he thinks he owns you.
No matter how loving and subtle his tactics are, these eight signs can help you see him for what he truly is.
If one or more of these signs look a lot like the man you’re in a relationship with, then you should brace up because there’s a high chance you are with a control freak who thinks he owns you.
Such relationships don’t end well, particularly for you, who is owned, so it’s best to reach out and find help before it strips you of your self-esteem and confidence.
You can start by reaching out to trusted family members or friends who can listen and help you.
A relationship coach or counselor is also a good option because he/she stands a better chance of bringing an unbiased and more objective perspective to your relationship matters.
