How do you know the early signs of a controlling man?
It’s not always easy to spot a controlling man because they don’t always let their true colors show right away.
You may not even recognize that you are dealing with a man who is a controller.
Controlling men are usually well-liked — and even likable.
He may be charming and romantic at first, as he tries to win you over.
He wants to impress you, so he acts in ways that make him look like an ideal partner: thoughtful, loyal, and charismatic.
It’s often only when you start spending more time with them that you learn why they’re so well-liked — or why they’re so much more likable than you thought — and how they never seem to do anything wrong.
But his charming mask soon slips away — revealing that he’s been hiding something from you.
Suddenly, you’re not sure how invested in the relationship he was to begin with.
You do everything wrong, and they’re the picture of perfection.
It doesn’t seem fair, but it’s a common pattern when dealing with a controlling man.
So, I’ve explained some of the early signs of a controlling man in this article.
Read on to learn more about them.
11 Early Signs Of A Controlling Man
- He Demands Your Passwords
Watch out for a partner who demands your passwords.
This is often seen in the beginning stages of a controlling relationship.
While it may seem like a small request or something that should be done in good faith, giving someone your passwords is a severe breach of privacy.
He shouldn’t need to know what you’re doing all the time because he doesn’t trust you.
It’s not his business to know how many emails you send or receive per day, nor who they’re from.
He’s also trying to restrict your access and limit your freedom on the internet and in life.
Relationships shouldn’t include some person telling you where you can go, what sites you can look at, and monitoring everything you do online just because they want to feel powerful over you.
- He Has To Know Where You Are All The Time
One of the early signs of a controlling man is that you may notice that he begins to question you about your whereabouts.
He wants to know who you were with, what you did, and why you were doing it.
This is just the beginning of his emotional control over you, as it’s the first step on a path to full-blown surveillance.
When he starts asking these questions, it’s important to see them as a warning sign.
You have the right to choose how much information about yourself and your location you share with another person.
If someone looks into your phone or attempts to track your movements without permission, they violate your privacy and display their lack of respect for your autonomy and dignity.
- He Tries To Cut Off Your Relationship With Family And Friends
The people in your life that you trust and feel safe with are valuable resources.
If he tries to cut you off from them early on in the relationship, it’s a red flag.
One of the early signs of a controlling man is that he will try to isolate you from the ones who are there for you so that he can have more control over you.
Watch out for these telltale signs:
He doesn’t like spending time with your friends or family.
He makes plans when they’re around.
He tries to sabotage each time you get together.
If any of these situations are happening to you, it’s important not to stop seeing your friends and family.
Maybe he’ll realize how important they are to you and start being nicer about letting you spend time with them, but it might be time to talk things through if that doesn’t work.
It’s essential in a healthy relationship that both parties respect each other’s boundaries.
If he keeps trying to get between you and the ones closest to your heart, it may be best for you if you go your separate ways!
- He Tells You That You Can Never Do Anything Right
When you’re in a relationship with a controlling man, it can feel like he constantly puts you down.
He criticizes everything from the way you dress to the way you think.
He may even compare you to his ex-girlfriend or other women to make him seem superior.
There are many ways that a controlling guy can make you feel like what you say and do doesn’t matter, such as by:
Constantly correcting your mistakes.
Not listening when you try to speak up for yourself.
Make fun of your opinions or beliefs.
- He Is Always One Up On You
Another example of a man constantly coming out on top is when he makes you feel as though you must always be grateful for his generosity and kindness.
He wants to ensure that you know that he has done more for you than you have for him.
If someone does something nice for us, we tend to feel a certain amount of gratitude and appreciation, but it’s not enough with this type of person.
If this happens in your relationship, it’s time to change the dynamic.
When he says something like, “you look fantastic in that new dress I bought you last week,” thank him but then go on to say how much you appreciate him listening when things are tough or being so considerate when taking out the garbage or doing something else around the house.
You might see an immediate reaction but if not, keep going until he gets it and starts acting differently towards you.
- He Acts Like The Victim All The Time
Controlling men are masters of manipulation, and they will twist your words and make you feel like it is your fault that they do not feel well.
If you try to talk to them about it, they will turn it on you and say that you are being mean or attacking them.
They may even cry or seem hurt by what you said, but the chances are good that they are just acting.
It can be hard to talk to someone acting this way because people often feel bad for them and want to apologize because they do not want anyone feeling bad, especially someone they care about!
- He Seems Too Good To Be True
When you first meet a controlling man, he’d be too good to be true.
You’d think you’ve met the man of your dreams — one who doesn’t seem to have any flaws.
He could handsome, charming, and intelligent.
But it could turn out that this charmer is a sociopath practicing the art of seduction.
A controlling man does not show his true colors until he has become attached to someone he thinks will make an excellent victim for him.
This means that by the time many women realize they are involved with a controlling man, they already have feelings for him and don’t want to let go of the relationship because they think their partner will change or that he won’t hurt them anymore.
But this is a false assumption because most sociopaths do not change unless they get professional help.
- You Always Feel Like You Have To Prove Yourself
Has your partner ever said something like, “You’re crazy! You’re too sensitive!”
Has he ever told you that no one can understand you as he can?
Has he ever made you feel like you don’t have anything worthwhile to contribute or that you’re always looking for attention?
It’s a sign of a controlling man if your partner constantly has to criticize or put you down.
Is it possible that only this one guy in the whole world understands how special and important you are?
I guess it is possible… but not likely.
- He Stops You From Making Your Own Decisions
If you find yourself constantly asking your man for permission to do something, it can be a sign of controlling behavior.
A relationship is a partnership, and if your significant other makes you feel like you always need his permission to do things, that’s a red flag that he’s not treating you with the respect and consideration he should.
When you’re dating or in a relationship with someone who has control issues, they will try to take away all of your decision-making power.
This person wants to have complete control over every aspect of your life (or at least what they believe is their business).
As time goes on, this pattern only worsens; eventually, it can lead to physical abuse.
- He Criticizes Your Interests
Does your partner show disdain for your interests?
Does he show disapproval of the friends you hang out with or your hobbies?
Such is the habit of a controlling man.
He wants to dictate the activities you should enjoy.
- Your Gut Just Tells You Something Is Off
While it may seem like an overreaction, your gut feeling is often a strong indicator of something being off.
You may not be able to pinpoint what is making you feel uneasy, but if you are questioning the relationship, then it’s a good idea to investigate further.
Conversations with your loved ones can be helpful as well.
Talking about your unease can help you figure out why you’re feeling weird about the relationship in the first place.
If others tell you that they’ve noticed some red flags, consider their advice.
They may be seeing something outside the scope of your vision because they are looking at things from another perspective.
It’s important not to ignore any feelings of discomfort or uneasiness when it comes to relationships and dating.
If something doesn’t feel right, there’s probably a good reason for it!
Controlling men are dangerous for many reasons.
You’ll have fewer problems overall if you can spot the early signs of a controlling man and find a new partner or improve your current relationship.
It’s important to notice these signs early to avoid getting trapped in a bad relationship.
Here are the reasons for this:
It will help you avoid a bad relationship.
You can get help early.
You won’t be stuck in a bad relationship.
If you notice the early signs of a controlling man before getting too serious with them, it will be much easier to leave the situation and move on with your life.
Ignoring the problem will not solve anything and could lead to more serious issues down the road.
You can also get professional help to determine whether your partner can change their behavior.