An open relationship is a relationship in which the two initial partners agree to date others freely.
This practice is not regarded as cheating since the decision is consensual and nothing is done clandestinely.
The guy has another girlfriend, and the girl has another boyfriend, and they are open about it.
They may not start off with this intention until later on, when either of them begins to show some signs that suggest that they are open to opening the relationship.
It can be disappointing to find out that your boyfriend does not consider you enough for him, especially if your relationship started off as monogamous and you both had no prior agreement to go open.
You could begin to have regrets and feel undermined.
However, if the desire is mutual and being in an open relationship is not a bad idea for you, you may not have any regrets whatsoever.
Here are some signs that suggest that your guy wants an open relationship:
9 Signs He Wants an Open Relationship
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He makes jokes about it often.
Many times, our jokes are a reflection of what goes on in our minds.
If your boyfriend makes jokes about dating someone else while with you or you dating someone else while with him, and you simply laugh and brush it off as a joke, he may be passing a message to you in a subtle manner.
Especially if it’s not a one-off joke, you should probably start taking the jokes to heart.
Because he’s joking with it as a way of testing the waters to see how you would react if he did date someone else.
If you laugh it off, it might give him the impression that you don’t care or are okay with it and may encourage him to pursue a relationship with another person.
But if you take it too seriously, he could sense that you’re uncomfortable with the idea and may reconsider.
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He has sexual fantasies that involve another person that isn’t you.
If your guy admits to having some fantasies that you obviously can’t help him with, he might be hinting to you that he would like to date someone else.
This is especially true if he says he loves you and doesn’t want to lose you yet still talks about his fantasies.
It’s like he is having trouble reconciling the two sides of himself: wanting both you together and someone else at the same time.
The dude wants to have his cake and eat it too!
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He overtly flirts with other girls a lot.
If your boyfriend is habitually coquettish towards other ladies, especially in your presence, he may be pushing you to ask him why he is being like that so that he could have the avenue to disclose his intentions to you.
He wants to make you curious enough to confront him about it and perhaps further probe into the matter.
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He is not jealous.
Lovers expectedly show a certain level of jealousy when the other person is close to the opposite sex.
If your boyfriend does not show any sign of jealousy whenever he sees you with the opposite sex, he may be cutting you some slack deliberately so that you could do the same for him.
He doesn’t question you or raise concerns when you spend time with a male friend; he might be an open relationship type of guy.
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He makes friends with your admirers.
If your boyfriend is surprisingly cool with a guy that he is well aware is asking you out, that may be your cue that he wants an open relationship.
He makes friends with any guy that woos you and shows not even the slightest feeling of animosity towards them; it may be a sign that he does not mind you giving any of them a chance.
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He is always fascinated by the topic.
If at the mention of the term ‘open relationship, ‘your boyfriend suddenly gets interested and amused, it may be your cue that the concept is a welcome one to him.
He reads books about it and watches shows that discuss it; you could be right if you read a meaning to his interest.
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He is still on dating sites/apps.
If your boyfriend dillydallies about leaving the dating sites he was active on when he was still searching, it may be a sign that he is not done searching yet, even though he is now with you.
I mean, what is he looking for?
We all know that dating sites/apps are the easiest places to go when looking for someone to date or even hook up with.
Heck, maybe you even met your boyfriend there.
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His grooming has improved.
If your boyfriend suddenly starts to pay more attention to his appearance, dresses to impress more, wears his cologne more religiously, etc., he might be considering attracting and dating another lady.
Grooming is good; in fact, I highly recommend it, but it’s also a way to gain attention.
So, if your boyfriend seems like he is going through an image makeover all of a sudden, he might be trying to boost his confidence because he is looking for someone else.
Who doesn’t love a good-looking man?
It’s easier to get someone to be interested in you if you are an eye candy.
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He is more dedicated to the relationship.
He shows all of the signs above, but he has not in any way made you feel abandoned; in fact, he does more for the relationship.
He might be hinting to you that he cares about you and does not want to lose you, but he wants to date someone else.
As ironic as that may sound, it happens.
It’s also a way to reassure you that his commitment to the relationship will be unwavering if you accept to be in an open relationship with him.
What To Do If He Wants an Open Relationship
So if your boyfriend shows any or all of the signs above, here are what you should do:
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Ask yourself what you want.
You need to have a discussion with yourself.
Search yourself to know if an open relationship is what you want or if it is right for you.
This discussion with yourself will help you to be better prepared for what might be coming.
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Discuss your observations with him.
Since it’s evident that he is just trying to be careful in his approach to disclosing his intentions to you, I think you should raise it with him in order to avoid any form of assumptions and misconceptions.
Ask him direct questions and study his body language while he responds.
If you want to get the truth from him, try not to come across as condemning.
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Hear his reasons.
Ask him the reason behind his actions and hear him out.
One of the key ways to avoid assumptions in a relationship is communication.
Your boyfriend’s reasons may make you feel better or worse, but it’s important that you hear them so that you can have a better assessment of his person and perspective.
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Make your decision known to him.
This is the part where you decide what you want for yourself.
This is the part where you do what you want because it is what you want and not merely because it is what is wanted of you.
Do not agree to an open relationship out of pity or in order to fix an already struggling relationship.
Polyamory comes with a lot of intricacies.
Therefore, be aware of all the pros and cons of such an arrangement and decide if they are attractive to you.
Set clear boundaries and terms and conditions if you are going to be yielding to your boyfriend’s desires.
Also, make a decision that protects your interest no matter what happens.