Bimbola, a graduate of English Language, is married to Olusola, a graduate of Computer Science, and they are both ministers of the gospel. Amazing! Enjoy their insightful and hilarious interview:
Olusola: It was on a Saturday when I needed to buy airtime for an urgent call I needed to make, and every shop on my street was either closed or not having airtime to sell at that time. I had to walk a twenty-year journey in twenty minutes, just to get the airtime – something that wouldn’t take me more than two minutes on a normal day. After finally getting the airtime and waiting to load it, I sighted her.
Bimbola: I was searching for a shop for my restaurant and the street I was searching it on happened to be close to his. I met him, greeted him and asked if he knew any vacant shop around the place. He asked what I wanted it for and I told him. That was how we got talking.
Olusola: She is very confident and bold. There was a statement she made that same day I met her that struck me, and has remained with me; it is what I see in her every time. She was looking for a shop for her restaurant and when I told her that there were many big restaurants in that area already, she said to me: “I fear no competition. I am confident of my abilities. I am not in competition with anyone. I just want to do my own thing.” That statement kept ringing in my heart long after I parted with her. I kept asking, “Who is this lady?”
Bimbola: He is hard-working. He is a man of prayer. He is good and very skillful at his assignment. He is passionate about God’s call for our lives and even when I wanted to deviate at a time we were having financial challenges, he kept telling me to remember what God told us.
How does your spouse complement you?
Olusola: When I was praying for a wife, I asked for a woman who would share my vision and values – a woman that I was going to walk with as one. That is exactly who my wife is. When we newly met and began discussing, the things she was telling me about her vision were the exact things God had told me about ten years earlier about my future – she said those things word-for-word. She is an expression of what I stand for and believe in. She complements me with how she expresses what God has deposited into us.
Bimbola: He gives expression to the branding part of our vision. A mentee once asked me who does our flyers and all other designing jobs that we do and I told her it was my husband. There was a time he was busy with something and I needed something designed. I couldn’t wait for him to get done, so I paid someone to do it. When the person eventually delivered the design, I wasn’t satisfied with what was done. I had to still take it back to hubby and wait till he could do it. He gives expression to stuff I have in mind when I describe them to him.
What do you want your spouse to improve on?
Olusola: I want her to improve on her organizational skills. My wife would get to our bookshelf, wardrobe and bedside locker and I would know she had been there. She could improve on putting things where they belong. She would if she could be more patient. She should also learn to express herself with fewer words – she can use three A4 pages to express something that should not take more than three lines.
Bimbola: He should stop nagging about me being disorderly and impatient. Each time he does, I feel like he is judging a bird by its inability to swim. If I am disorderly, it’s why he is orderly. While I work towards perfection, he should gladly, joyfully and dutifully take up his job of doing what he is better at and stop complaining about my not being good at what he should complement me on. 2. He should take me and the kids out more and not leave me to do all the taking-outs. 3. He should stop complaining about me putting his picture on social media and let me snap him more so that I can display his pictures anywhere and everywhere I like. Finally, he needs to work on his romantic skills. I give him a D in that.
First year in marriage challenges
Olusola: We had too many issues with understanding each other. I had my way with things and hers seemed to be completely opposite of mine. Our different backgrounds affected the way we saw things.
Bimbola: Chai, it was a terrible year. I thought I had missed it in marriage. We disagreed more than we agreed. I was just telling myself how I was sure God couldn’t have hated me so much to make me miss it in marriage. We disagreed on almost everything and anything… ranging from food to water, to sex, to the way we talk, to the tone of voice… etc.
What do you enjoy doing with your spouse?
Olusola: I enjoy discussing our vision with her – and we do that almost every time. That is all we are about and there is usually nothing else to talk about without arriving back at that.
Bimbola: I enjoy when after reading a book, I give him the review and we start talking about it. I enjoy when we sit down to design together. I enjoy each time I needed to prepare a message or a Facebook post and run it through him – we do this 99% of the time. I enjoy when we get to go out too.
Which house chores do you take care of?
Olusola: I do everything. There is no house chore I don’t take care of, depending on what has to be done per time. I cook, I do the laundry, I sweep, I mop and I also lay the bed.
Bimbola: I do dishes, I cook, I mop, I sweep. It’s difficult to say this is which I do. It depends on what is to be done, per time. I give hubby a B in that.
Olusola: When I finally became convinced of God’s calling into ministry and I discussed it with my wife, her encouragement, acceptance and willingness to go the way with me made that day my happiest moment.
Bimbola: Whenever we are talking about our vision or planning on steps forward – every time we do is a happy moment for me.
Olusola: It was in our second year in marriage when our then landlady came to shout on us in the house because we could not pay our house rent.
Bimbola: Whenever we argue or disagree.
Most important lessons in marriage so far:
Olusola: Marriage is not theory; until you experience it practically, you really can’t say you know what marriage is about.
Bimbola: No one is the pilot in marriage. God is and should be. When we assume our place as mere passengers going on a trip with God, we do it better.
Do you know each other’s passwords to your devices?
Olusola: Yes, I know her passwords; including that of her ATM card. She knows mine, too; just that she sometimes asks me to remind her of even her own that she sets by herself.
Bimbola: Yes, we do; but I don’t remember even mine most of the time. He reminds me. I think I remember his more.
Is there anything you cannot forgive?
Olusola: There is nothing I can’t forgive my wife.
Bimbola: Nothing. I made that decision long before I met him. I made the decision to have nothing I won’t forgive my husband for. But that doesn’t mean I might not be hurt. Or that it would be easy. But nothing is unforgivable.
How sweet! What do you think, guys? Leave your thoughts in the comment section. And if you want your marriage to be featured in this series, contact me on Facebook : Olubunmi Mabel or my email address: firstname.lastname@example.org