“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”…
I remember reading this quote in a novel for the first time as a kid.
I remember wondering if it was true and if cartoons lied to me when they claimed people fell in love at first sight.
I am older now, and while I don’t think my love can be bought with food, it is a way for me to like you better if I already like you.
If the way to a man’s heart is indeed through his stomach, what does it mean when your husband stops eating your food?
Is it a sign that the love in your marriage has ended or that your husband is angry at something you did?
Is it a sign that another lady is feeding him, or has he had dinner at a restaurant with a client?
Does it spell doom for your marriage, or should you take it all in stride since you are not even his cook?
We will be considering all these and more in this article…
In addition, I will also be including tips on how you can handle the situation without it blowing up in your face.
Come along, let’s find out why your husband isn’t eating your food and what you can do to change that…
“When Your Husband Stops Eating Your Food: 4 Things It Means And What You Can Do About It”
1. He is angry at you
This is a no-brainer.
Whenever husbands are angry at their wives, they seek to take it out on them in the most creative ways, but not eating her food is a typical response from most men.
This rings true for men of African descent.
I grew up associating my dad’s refusal to eat with his being angry at my mother, and I was never wrong.
The most obvious way to know that they had conflict was at night when my dad would either sleep on an empty stomach or drink “garri“- a meal made from cassava.
I remember telling my mom that I felt it was illogical not to eat when there was food at home because you were angry.
Well, most husbands find it logical, and if they are not happy with you, they make it known by refusing to eat your food.
Even with the feminist movement and women’s empowerment in our time, women still put a lot of stock in their husbands’ eating of their food.
This is especially true for African women.
In African culture, your husband refusing to eat your food is considered to be a very serious issue because if he isn’t eating your food, then he is surely not talking to you.
If your husband isn’t eating your food, and it is accompanied by sullen silence or angry retorts when you attempt to talk to him, it is a sign that he is angry at you over something you did.
What you need to do is to get over the resentment of his rejection of your food and find out what he is angry about.
Really, it could be something you didn’t even realize you had done.
However, getting it off his chest goes a long way in easing up the resentment and anger he may be feeling.
2. He is in a bad mood
toward easing any resentment or
Sometimes, your husband refuses to eat your food, and it doesn’t have anything to do with you.
Really, he isn’t annoyed at you or fighting a cold war with you, but he doesn’t just want to eat.
And this isn’t restricted to just your food.
He doesn’t want to eat at all.
This shouldn’t be shocking to you because everyone has those times when they are so upset or stressed by something that they can’t just summon the appetite to eat even their favorite meals.
Perhaps your husband is worried about something, and in a way that is so common with men, he doesn’t want you to get worried too.
So he puts up a brave front and tries to pretend all is well but even in his pretense, he may still not be able to summon the appetite to eat.
He may pick at his food or outrightly reject the food.
This may also be accompanied by long periods of absentmindedness.
If you believe that this is what is happening to your husband, you can gently ask him what is troubling him.
Don’t attempt to pry it from him, but ensure that he knows he can always talk to you about whatever is happening.
The assurance that he is not alone in whatever is worrying him may be a great relief to him.
3. He wants your attention
Marriage comes with a load of new duties and responsibilities.
Sometimes, it is difficult to keep up with everything without letting some things slide.
Being a wife isn’t all Disney paints it to be.
It’s not “happily ever after”.
It’s not a time spent singing and whistling happily while doing chores and the kids demand a piece of you.
Yeah, there is happiness in being a mother and a wife to the right man…
However, it also comes with a boatload of tiredness.
You can sometimes be so carried away by your duties as a mother that you hardly pay attention to your husband.
Except to discuss what to do about the kids’ school or what to cook for dinner.
Your husband doesn’t want to seem like he is competing with his kids, but he really wants attention.
He wants his wife to listen to him with undivided attention.
He longs for connecting and understanding.
When he pushes the food away, it is a sign that he craves something more.
He wants deep conversations with you.
He wants to make love to you energetically.
He wants to do all these things with you, but you are usually tired.
So, what do you do?
Check your relationship.
Have things become so routine between you and your husband?
Has he mentioned how he misses the early days?
Have you rejected him so many times that he no longer reaches out to make love to you?
If the answer to all these questions is yes, then it’s simple.
All your husband needs is attention.
You need to find a balance between your motherly responsibilities and wifely responsibilities.
Spend more time with your husband.
Try to reignite the passion in your relationship.
You can do it…
With your husband’s help, of course.
4. There is another woman
This is the worst-case scenario…
When your husband stops eating your food and starts eating another woman’s food, there is “fire on the mountain.”
This is not an attempt to scare you.
Have I ever been anything but honest with you?
If your husband hasn’t been eating your food for a long time, it is logical to assume he is eating elsewhere.
In this case, The best scenario is that he is eating at a restaurant.
The worst?
He is eating another woman’s food.
She may be a coworker, a “friend,” or just a client, but if your husband has started rejecting your food because another woman cooks for him, your marriage may be having some issues.
Has your relationship been cold?
Do you and your husband spend more time fighting than talking?
Have you noticed that he spends a lot of time on his phone and receives calls at odd hours?
Does he act like his phone is an appendage and must come with him everywhere?
If he does all of these and is overly critical of you, it is a sign that you are losing your husband to another woman.
What to do about it?
Well, you need to first consider if you actually desire to save your marriage.
Do you believe that your marriage is worth fighting for?
If you have decided to get your husband back, then you need to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him.
Tell him how you feel about how he has been rejecting your food, and find out why he has been rejecting your food.
Encourage him to be honest with you.
If he admits to having relations with another woman or just claims that he has only been eating her food and not doing anything else, you need to ask him what he wants to do.
Would he rather choose her or join you as you try to bring back the marriage you once had?
Really, at this point, his decision is pivotal in whatever you choose to do.
The reasons a man rejects his wife’s food have never changed.
I am sure if the first man rejected his wife’s food, it was for the same reasons husbands reject their wives’ food presently.
While I still believe that refusing to eat your wife’s food is a silly way of expressing displeasure or a need for attention, these are the reasons husbands stop eating their wives’ food.
I really hope that with time, men will evolve into using open and effective communication to express themselves to their wives.
Until then, you just need to know that it has no positive meaning when your husband stops eating your food.