Why do rebound relationships feel like love?
A rebound relationship is when you date somebody new right after your relationship ends.
The basis of all rebound relationships is that you’re on the rebound or recently out of a serious dating relationship.
It’s commonly thought that rebounds help people get over their exes.
People in this situation tend to want intense, passionate relationships very soon after the loss because it gives them a sense of purpose and helps them feel better about themselves.
This need for intensity is why these relationships often seem so special and move at such a fast pace so that it could seem like love.
But why do rebound relationships feel like love?
Here’s why.
WHY DO REBOUND RELATIONSHIPS FEEL LIKE LOVE
- You just broke up with someone, and you hate being alone
You’re probably feeling pretty blue if you’ve just broken up with someone.
But it’s not uncommon to feel a little bit more than that: lost and alone, for instance.
The person who used to be the center of your world is now gone, and it can feel like all of your support has been ripped from beneath your feet.
Rebound relationships may seem like a good idea at the time because they offer the opportunity to momentarily forget about the loss of your partner and instead focus on yourself again or someone new.
Rebound relationships are often undertaken so that people don’t have to deal with their feelings of loneliness or grief over losing someone important in their lives.
Sometimes people can’t deal with being alone—especially when they’ve just come out of a long-term relationship or marriage—and they come up with what seems like an excellent solution at the time: finding love through a rebound relationship before they even give themselves time to grieve their old one.
So yeah, rebound relationships can feel like love if you are hate being single and alone.
2. You miss the affection and attention
Let’s face it: Being single can be a drag when you desire a lover.
When you’re in a relationship, there’s someone to talk to, share the ups and downs of the day with, and spend time with on weekends.
If you’ve been through a breakup recently, it may be tempting—so tempting!—to immediately jump into another relationship.
It feels comforting to date someone new right away because it fills your need for affection and attention in the immediate aftermath of your breakup.
3. Rebound relationships are intense and passionate
Another reason why rebound relationships feel like love is because you are being swept away by new-relationship energy (NRE).
When you first meet someone, you experience NRE, making dating fun and exciting.
You can’t get enough of each other!
You spend all your time together, talk constantly on the phone or online, and when you finally do manage to see each other, you cannot keep your hands off each other!
It’s amazing, intense, and passionate.
This causes people to think that it is love when it is probably not.
4. Your rebound makes you feel wanted
Human beings are social creatures.
We need to love and be loved.
If you’re newly single, you may find yourself missing the companionship of a significant other.
You may feel like your world has been shaken up, and you have no idea how to put things back in order.
You crave the sense of being wanted by someone—and soon enough, a person who does just that comes along.
This is your rebound relationship.
It feels like love because it satisfies your need to be loved and wanted.
After all, since this person has stepped into your life and given you something positive to focus on, rekindling feelings of self-worth and emotional well-being, why would it not feel like love?
5. They help you get out of your head about your ex
When you’re still hung up on another person, it can be difficult to focus on much else.
All of your thoughts and energy are spent obsessing over ways to get them back or how angry you are about the breakup.
In this mental space, it’s easy to change your perspective when someone new walks in and starts paying attention to you.
Suddenly, the new person seems great!
They’re so much more thoughtful than your ex ever was.
All of your ex’s faults fade away because they’re not here anymore.
This is why rebounding fills such a primal need.
The urge to move on from heartbreak is so strong that people will seek out any distraction they can find to avoid facing their feelings head-on (which might have been what sent them into a relationship with their ex in the first place).
6. There’s an element of excitement and novelty
Rebound relationships have an element of excitement and novelty.
The newness and the intrigue of getting to know someone new can be a great distraction from the heartache you are trying to get over.
The thrill of this new venture can help you forget about all the bad times you had with your ex and make you focus on what’s happening right now.
When you’re with someone new, you want to impress them and put your best foot forward.
You’ll probably make more effort than you usually would to ensure your partner has a good time with you.
This can include having fun, playing nice, and saying the right things.
Newness is intoxicating!
7. They validate your worth and attractiveness
Another reason rebound relationships feel like love is because they validate your worth and attractiveness.
It can feel like a rejection when someone you care about breaks up with you.
Even though you’re not the only person who has had a breakup, it’s a common experience in our society.
But because your relationship was important to you, it can feel like the end of the world at times.
So breakups might be common, but they are very personal.
When a relationship ends, and you are left with feelings of rejection, you are looking for reassurance that you are still attractive, still desirable.
Even if the breakup was mutual or the relationship was not working out, there can be a sense of being rejected or unloved.
8. You want to move past the pain.
Rebound relationships are essentially a form of escapism.
When we’re hurt, we often seek out someone who will make us forget our pain.
And what better way to do that than get caught up in a whirlwind romance?
While they might not last, rebound relationships can certainly be fun.
9. You need the security that comes with being in a relationship.
The feeling of being in love is one that we chase because it gives us something to live for.
It makes us feel secure and like we are part of something bigger than ourselves.
So when a relationship ends, the security goes away too, which can leave you feeling lost and alone.
And if you’ve been together for a while, it can be hard to imagine how life will go on without that person by your side.
Rebound relationships thus provide this security, and it could feel like love.
10. It might be love indeed
Sometimes rebound relationships feel like love because they really are love.
It is possible that you were ready to move on and meet someone new before your relationship ended because your old relationship was dead, even if you didn’t realize this yet.
The signs of an unhealthy relationship might have been present for a long time, but you have ignored them or convinced yourself that things would get better and that there was no need to end things just yet.
So when you break up or get divorced, you do so with a sense of relief that you can finally move on with your life and find someone who will make you happy.
If you’re feeling lonely, vulnerable, or insecure after your break-up, it can be easy to become attached to someone new.
Be honest with yourself about why you’re rebound dating, and make sure you’re ready for a new relationship before jumping in headfirst so you don’t get hurt or hurt the other person.
Don’t let the rebound relationship become your entire life – make time for yourself and your old friends, and learn lessons from your previous relationship.
It’s okay to take time to heal, and there’s no need to rush into another relationship if you don’t feel ready.
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