Many marriages have hit the rocks owing to issues like sexual dissatisfaction and passionless sex.
So, if, as a man, you are concerned about why your wife is boring in bed, your concerns are very valid.
We get married for several reasons; sexual satisfaction with one’s partner is one of these reasons.
Sexual dissatisfaction may come up at any point in the marriage for diverse reasons.
If these reasons are not understood and well-managed, this dissatisfaction may spill into other aspects of the marriage, and tension begins to build up.
Let’s look into some possible reasons for a woman’s sexual apathy.
Why is My Wife So Boring in Bed?
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She is shy
Sexual prowess comes with experience and exploration, and with this experience comes confidence.
Your wife could still be struggling with being unashamed to express her fantasies and give you the pleasure you crave.
This is, however, not an excuse not to seek to be better.
Inexperience is not a sustainable excuse to be boring in bed.
Things might be awkward at the beginning, but she should not stop getting better.
You, the husband, can also be of help in this regard by ensuring to flirt with her and be her lover way before it’s time for bedroom matters.
Do not hesitate to be vulnerable with her and let her see that you have become one.
Bonding with her emotionally is a great step to achieving a magical sexual experience with her.
Many inexperienced women have proven to turn out great in bed after giving themselves to a lot of exploration and practice.
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She has a wrong orientation about sex
I have heard stories of married women who consider sex as just a necessary evil.
To some, it is a dirty act that is just necessary to engage in for the purpose of procreation.
Unbelievable, right?
You will be shocked at the extent of misinformation that surrounds sex out there.
This is just one of many.
A woman who has this mindset will not see the need for excitement in sex.
After all, a sexual experience does not have to be passionate before a child is conceived.
She will definitely be unwilling to do new things, and if you ask for such, she will consider you a pervert with inordinate sexual fantasies.
If this is your wife, it will take a lot of patience and professional help to reconfigure her mindset toward sex in marriage.
Sex is a core part of a marriage and should be enjoyed to the best.
This is why I advise singles not to shy away from seemingly awkward and uncomfortable conversations such as this before marriage.
Some conversations may be difficult, but they just must be had in order to prevent future regrets.
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She is stressed
Sex is fun, no doubt, but it is fun that requires physical and mental energy.
If your wife is going through rough patches that leave her stressed, it is not unexpected if she is boring in bed.
In times like these, sex becomes dutiful rather than beautiful.
She could be struggling with her job demands, parental demands, house chores, etc.
If you desire that things change, you may need to step in and empathize with her.
Make her feel loved and appreciated.
Make practical efforts to help her ease her burden so she can be relieved enough to desire sex in a way that will please you both.
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You often leave her unsatisfied
Your wife being bored in bed is probably a result of your own selfishness during the act.
Acting more concerned about your own satisfaction while hers is unattended might make her decide as well not to participate actively.
If she gets tired of telling you how she wants you to pleasure her, but you turn deaf ears, this may wear her out and build up disinterest in her.
As a married person, I will not deny that there may not be mutual satisfaction from every single sexual intercourse owing to a myriad of reasons.
However, if peradventure, it is your turn today, let it be hers tomorrow.
She, being constantly unsatisfied, will begin to feel used.
You will not get any exciting experience from a woman who feels used.
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There are unresolved issues in the marriage
I believe one can tell how happy a married couple is by their sexual life.
If there are offenses in the mind of a woman, it’s likely going to affect her disposition to have sex with the person she has grievances against.
She may not crave intimacy with you because you are pushing issues that matter to her under the carpet.
You talked down on her and stormed out of this house in the morning, and you return in the evening and act like nothing happened, and you expect her to get cozy with you.
Intimacy does not work that way.
If she allows you, it will likely be grudgingly and monotonously.
So, if you desire a change in this regard, you both must decide on a proper conflict resolution method that works for you both.
Offenses are inevitable in every relationship, let alone marriage, but it’s vital that they be managed appropriately.
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She has a medical condition
If your wife has a medical condition she is dealing with, her urge for sex may be unfavorably affected.
This medical condition does not have to be directly affecting her sexual organs before it has an adverse effect on her sexual life.
Many non-sexual diseases can cause a downward slope in a person’s sexual drive.
Also, the medications and prescription drugs she is taking can also cause low or no sexual urge.
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She is culturally influenced
There are some cultural expectations that make women show less enthusiasm toward sex.
In some cultures, a sexually expressive woman, even within the confines of marriage, is tagged as sexually disciplined and untamed.
She is regarded as a woman of easy virtues who cannot be trusted to be faithful to her husband.
These cultural beliefs are what lead to female genital mutilation(FGM), an unfair and barbaric practice aimed at taming the sexual expression of women.
However, times are changing, and so is the narrative.
More women now know better and free themselves from such shackles.
More women now own and explore their sexuality proudly and unashamedly.
If your woman falls under the category of women who have been influenced and curtailed by such practices, she may need some professional help and a lot of exposure to the right knowledge so that she does not continue to suffer and fit herself into an unrealistic box.
This is not only unhealthy for your marriage, it is also harmful for her.
FINAL WORDS
I empathize with you for having to deal with a boring lifestyle; it is such a frustrating experience to have.
I also hope that you will make an effort to communicate your dissatisfaction to your wife and find out the possible root cause of her sexual lethargy.
Communication is always a great step toward the resolution of marital issues.
She may not even know what she is doing to you and how it makes you feel.
Do not see her as the problem; rather, get her on your side to jointly face and surmount the problem.
With adequate understanding and a few compromises here and there, this will be a won battle.