S*x is supposed to be amazing and pleasurable.
If this is not happening for you and your partner, if the only pleasure you experience in bed is imagined, then something needs to give.
People who enjoy physical intimacy are not so different from you; they just happen to know something that you don’t.
So, don’t worry; physical intimacy in your marriage can be improved, you just need to know what exactly to do to make it more amazing.
What are these things you need to know that makes getting it on so amazing?
1. Remember You Deserve Great S*x
Ever heard the saying “s*x starts from the mind”?
Well, it’s not cliché.
S*x does start from the mind. If you don’t believe you are deserving of good s*x, it is unlikely that you will have it.
For women especially, during the act, you shouldn’t be too hung up on your body, thinking about all the flaccid parts of your body when you should be concentrating on what’s going on.
Nobody deserves anything less than mind blowing s*x, believe that, and enjoy yourself.
When you believe you deserve the best, you won’t settle for less.
2. Communicate Honestly
As humans, unfortunately, we cannot read minds.
So, if you want something, you will have to voice out your desire. You cannot expect your partner to know what’s on your mind if you don’t let them know.
And in case you are wondering about hurting your partner’s feeling, you can and should, in fact, do it politely.
Just sit your partner down and politely let them know what they are doing right and what they are doing wrong as well as your fantasies and preferences.
Also, while getting it on, you can guide them and show them where and how to touch you that will ensure your pleasure.
S*xual communication is essential to s*xual satisfaction in a marriage.
Couples who enjoy physical intimacy communicate freely about their s*xual needs.
3. Know Yourself
No two people are exactly the same; people sometimes derive pleasure in different ways and in different things.
So, you have to know yourself.
And the best way to know yourself is by paying attention to what you like and what you abhor whenever you’re getting it on.
You also need to know your s*xual fantasies and things you would like to try.
This way you can communicate with your partner, so they know how to treat you.
4. Be Spontaneous
There is a reason quickie is popular; it is because spontaneous s*x could be so much fun.
S*x does not always have to be planned or drawn out.
If you feel like it and your partner is in, why not?
Sometimes, even in places where you haven’t tried before.
5. Make A Date
On the other hand, sometimes, we place too much emphasis on spontaneous s*x that we miss out on the beauty of planned s*x.
If you have not gotten with the program, you are missing. There is something mind-blowing about fixing specific dates and anticipating the time.
Throughout the day, you can set the mood further by sending each other sexy text messages to get each other ready for what’s to come.
Another tip is to decorate the venue, get roses, wine, scented candles and maybe even bubble bath.
This cannot be every day, of course, but an occasional effort will go a long way to add some glitz to your s*x life.
6. Spice Things Up
Monotony breeds boredom. When you are doing the same thing over and over again, you will soon get bored.
To avoid boredom, it is important to spice things up in the bedroom.
In the first place, alternate the venue; don’t just stick to the bedroom.
You can try other parts of the house as well, especially quickies.
If you have children, once in a while, it is important to take time for each other.
You can take the children to their grandparents or their cousins or even for a play date, so you can have time for yourselves.
You can also go on a staycation while you get a babysitter for the kids.
I have two kids under 3, so I know how hard it is to have an amazing s*x life in marriage. But we’ve got to keep trying; putting in the extra efforts.
Secondly, try to introduce other styles and positions besides the ones you’re used to.
This makes s*x more interesting and makes you look forward to it more often.
7. There Is No ‘Normal’ Way To Do It
Remove the notion of normalcy or it will make you lose so much you can gain from s*x.
There is no “normal” way; the three things to take into consideration are your preferences, you and your partner’s consent and health.
If any style or position is good for both of you and agreed by both of you, you should go on to enjoy it.
Don’t let the concept of normalcy make you reluctant to try new things in the bedroom.
8. Keep Down There Neat And Fit
It is only right that you keep the down below neat and fit.
Don’t expect your partner to do everything to pleasure you when you are not neat down there.
Dirtiness will definitely turn anybody off.
9. Eat well
Diet has a huge role to play in your s*x life.
It impacts your s*x drive and your smell down there.
It’s important to eat healthier foods and balanced diet.
Ensure you eat vegetables, fruits and fibres.
Also, remember to stay hydrated. Drink enough water daily.
10. Be flexible
I believe s*x is an act that can be learnt.
S*x expertise has not been given to certain people as their talent while others are doomed to struggle in the bedroom.
If you want to be good at it, you can learn.
What is required is your desire and willingness to be flexible.
If you are so bent on sticking to what you know or your idea of how things should be, you will be missing out on a lot you should know about having great s*x.
But if you keep your mind open, you’ll enjoy all there is to enjoy in the bedroom with your spouse.