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11 Things Married Men Wish Their Wives Would Do in Bed

11 Things Married Men Wish Their Wives Would Do in Bed

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It’s no news that one of the things that make marriage fun is fulfilling and exciting sex life.

Physical intimacy is not just necessary; it is important. 

And as a wife who wants to make her husband happy: we all know men love sex, well, most men.

Wait, who doesn’t? 

B’cos I do!

It’s an act of pleasure and bonding with your spouse.

So, as I was saying, if you are a wife who wants to make her man happy, you’d want to know things your man would like you to do in bed.  

11 Things Married Men Wish Their Wives Would Do in Bed

 1. Express your needs

I honestly wish my husband could read my mind and that I don’t have to tell him what I want.

But we live in a real world, not a fantasy. 

So, just as you are not a mind-reader, your husband isn’t a mind-reader, even though he wishes he were.

If you want something, let him know.

Communicating your needs gives him the opportunity to please you and make you happy, which, in turn, makes him feel good.

Instead of suffering in silence, being bitter at him, and giving him attitude for not delivering to your expectations, tell him what you need.

I know sometimes we hesitate to tell our men what we want out of fear of being rejected and/or judged. 

But his response is not your responsibility.

So, you have to tell him what you want anyway and see what he will do with the information.


2. Take the initiative sometimes

How do you feel when your husband makes the first move?

You feel wanted, desired, and appreciated.

You feel he finds you sexually attractive, and that’s the desire of every married lady.

Because some men no longer find their wives sexually attractive even though they love them.

So, your husband will feel desired and wanted if you make the first move for sex.

And this will, in turn, boost his confidence, and you’ll see his confidence in action in bed. 

Making the first move doesn’t necessarily have to be dramatic. 

It could be something as simple as initiating a sensual kiss or massage when he least expects it, whispering a sweet something, giving him that look, or just leading him into the bedroom.

He will get the message, and this will also take the pressure off of him to always make the first move. 


3. Be open to exploration

Every person has unique desires, and your husband might wish for you to be open-minded about trying new things in the bedroom. 

If you are open-minded, he will feel more comfortable to explore his fantasies with you.

Because he knows you won’t judge him for his desires, and he can trust you with them.

Of course, you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable; but the point here is that even when you disagree with what he wants to explore, you are still open to the conversation and give him a safe space to express his curiosity. 

Instead of expressing disgust and screaming, ”What the hell are you even thinking? How could you even think that?”


He’d never tell you anything after that.


 4. Pay attention to non-verbal cues

You know, sometimes, it’s not about what’s said, but what’s felt.

Paying attention to your husband’s body language can provide valuable insight into what he enjoys and what he doesn’t.

From his expressions to the pace of his breath, these signals can guide you toward knowing what he enjoys and what needs to be adjusted.

For example, if he’s slouching and not responding with enthusiasm to a new position you’ve tried, it’s probably best to switch things up.

If his face lights up in pleasure and he can’t seem to get enough of a certain move, then you know that he enjoys it and that you should feel free to repeat it. 

Of course, you can always ask to be sure.


5. Be in the moment

With the myriad distractions of modern life, it’s easy to let your mind wander.

Honestly, as a business owner, mom, wife, daughter, friend, and more, I struggle with this often.

My brain is always trying to check the next item off my list, even when I’m trying to be intimate with my partner.

But I know that being in the moment is essential for great sex. 

I know I should focus on what’s happening in the here and now; let go of any worries or stress about work or family issues. 

Yet, that’s not always easy to do. 

If you’re like me and find it hard to just be in the moment, let’s keep trying.

That’s the reason for this post: to encourage each other to keep trying. 

You can try taking a few deep breaths and focus on the sensations of each breath, and let them help bring your attention back to what’s happening right now with your partner. 

Embrace the moment, and forget all about that to-do list. 

Let yourself be consumed by the pleasure of simply being with your partner in that moment. 

Live in that moment, and savor every second of it.


6. Show appreciation

This is where I give myself a pat on the back because I do this.

A simple “That feels amazing” or “I love when you do that” can boost your husband’s confidence and encourage him to do more of what you enjoy.

Genuine compliments and expressions of pleasure let him know that he’s on the right track, creating a positive feedback loop that benefits both of you.

Don’t just keep quiet and enjoy the experience.

Verbalize your appreciation and not just your dissatisfaction. 

In fact, verbalizing your appreciation will make it easier to express your dissatisfaction in a constructive way when it’s necessary. 

So it won’t seem like you only talk when you have complaints.


7. Maintain a sense of humor

As much as sex is an intimate act, it can also be awkward and messy sometimes.

And this is where having a good sense of humor comes in handy. 

Humor can help lighten the mood and prevent minor mishaps from becoming major mood killers.

So, it’s important to laugh off any little mishaps that may occur and enjoy the moment without worrying too much about perfection. 

This will help make your experience fun and memorable instead of a source of stress or ridicule.

Laughter also improves intimacy, reminding both of you that sex isn’t just about passion; it can be fun, too.


8. Be patient with him

Men can sometimes feel immense pressure to perform, which can lead to stress and anxiety.

If he’s having an off day, be understanding and patient.

A kind word or a gentle touch can be more powerful than you might think.

Don’t compare your husband to other men, either.

Let him know that he is the one for you and that it’s only his performance that matters.

This will help him feel more confident and eventually make your time together more enjoyable. 


9. Understand his insecurities

You think you are the only one who has insecurities and body image issues?

No, dear.

Just like women, men also have insecurities about their bodies and sexual performance.

Understanding this and providing reassurance can help your husband feel more confident and at ease.

An encouraging word, a loving gaze, or a reassuring touch can go a long way in making him feel loved and desired.


10. Surprise him

A surprise doesn’t have to be something big or extravagant.

It can be as simple as wearing a new lingerie set, sending a flirty text during the day, or planning a romantic night in.

The aim is to keep the spark alive and show him that you’re thinking about him and your intimate life together.

I’ve been doing this lately.

I bought a few sets of lingerie that I love myself in.

My husband is usually wowed and asks me where I got them from.

I tell him, ”A lady doesn’t reveal her secrets.”


Yes, that’s how you keep them guessing, sis!

You don’t need to be a model to look good in lingerie; just buy the ones that fit your body type and ones that you feel sexy in.

I don’t have a perfect body (after carrying two heavy babies, what do you expect? lol); however, I feel absolutely sexy in my new sets of lingerie.

Know yourself and top it with a dose of confidence, and there you go!

Hot babe!


11. Show him your vulnerability

I won’t pretend that I don’t know that that vulnerability is hard.

And the reason we find it hard to be vulnerable is because we’re afraid of how our partner will react.

But the truth is, showing him your vulnerability can build a stronger connection and help bring you closer together.

It’s not a sign of weakness (even though we believe it is) to show him your vulnerability because it often creates connection and boosts trust.

You can share stories from the past, talk about why you’re afraid or scared of certain things, or open up to him about your feelings and how much you care for him.

These simple acts will make him feel like you trust him and can count on him.

And if you are not pleased with his reaction, be honest and tell him.

Vulnerability might not always feel comfortable, but you can’t form a strong bond with your partner without it.


I understand that each couple is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.

But I’m positive that applying these tips in your marriage will make your husband a happy man.

And if he’s already happy, he’ll be a happier man!


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Thursday 27th of June 2024

Well after being Married for close to 43 years it good to know the wife has been doing all these things all along.. And we're still keeping it lively ;) ;)


Monday 20th of May 2024

It's great to find an article that expresses things a woman might do to show their love, adoration, and sexuality toward their man. Men can just as easily be emotionally slighted. The woman needs to express not only her thoughts verbally but physically too. Good article from the other's perspective!

Sonja Thorneycroft

Tuesday 2nd of January 2024

Found the information ,invaluable .Given some good thoughts to practice.Easy to forget some of these ideas but will make use of them.