When people say they are unhappy, they really mean they have yet to achieve the internal harmony required to sustain the degree of bliss they seek.
They don’t have the knowledge required to build the personal thrive they desire.
Happiness is a mindset, not an event.
It is not so much as being in a state of unending joy because, let’s be honest, no one is happy all the time.
Happiness is more of reaching an agreement within yourself to maintain a tranquil equilibrium, no matter what.
Happiness is not a mystery; it can be created.
How do happy women do it?
Below are some of the habits of women who enjoy happiness:
12 Habits of Incredibly Happy Women
1. They have a positive attitude
One of my favorite books of all time is ”Attitude is Everything” by Jeff Keller.
This book emphasizes the power of having a positive attitude and how it can transform your life.
I agree that attitude has a huge impact on happiness.
Happy women understand that life is not a straight line; it is a curve with bumps along the way.
They know that circumstances will not always be favorable; thus, they stay positive even in negative situations.
Happy women understand that life is 10% what happens to them and 90% how they react to it because attitude is everything.
Happy women choose to see the good in every situation and have a hopeful outlook on life, even when faced with challenges.
For example, if you get stuck in traffic, instead of getting frustrated and angry, a happy woman will use that time to listen to her favorite music or audiobook.
She understands that she cannot control the situation, but she can control how she reacts to it.
This mindset allows her to stay positive and make the best out of any situation.
Another benefit of having a positive attitude is that it attracts positivity and good energy into your life and helps you solve problems and find solutions rather than dwelling on them.
I highly recommend this Attitude is Everything to anyone looking to improve their mindset and overall happiness.
2. They do what they love
Not everyone is lucky enough to do what they love, but one distinctive trait of most happy women is that they have found their place in life.
There’s nothing as amazing as doing what you are passionate about, something that brings you great joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment and makes you in tune with yourself.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be something you make money from.
Even if they have to work jobs they don’t love to make ends meet, happy women find a way to do what they love.
It could be painting, writing, drawing, giving helpful counsel, etc.
What are you passionate about?
Discover it, and you’ll be a happy bunny.
If you need help with discovering your passion and gifting, read Discovering Your Element by New York Times Bestselling Author Ken Robinson.
It’s a great read that will guide you through the process of finding your place in life.
Finding your passion and purpose in life is essential for everyone, especially for us women.
Women are often expected to fulfill multiple roles and responsibilities, including being a wife, mother, daughter, friend, and employee.
As women, we need to remember that our happiness and fulfillment should not be overlooked or put on hold.
3. They take self-care seriously
Happy women do not neglect themselves.
They take good care of themselves physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
They know that looking good is feeling good, and feeling good is acting good.
A lot of us women take care of everyone but ourselves, and this makes us angry and bitter.
This was me six months ago, with a newborn and a toddler to care for, with just my husband helping.
I was not happy because I felt neglected and looked unkempt until I gave myself a pep talk on the need to also look after myself.
I still don’t have the luxury of time to care for myself the way I want, but I no longer completely neglect myself.
I splurged on skincare products my skin is currently thanking me for, I eat whatever my heart desires, I make time to shower instead of going days without a bath, I relax with Gilmore Girls on Netflix, I make time to read books, and, of course, I make time to write!
I still don’t have enough time to do all I want to do, but making these little changes here and there has been so beneficial to me.
If you want to be a happy woman, please try to take care of yourself.
P.S.: Four years later, I’ve upgraded my self-care list.
I have monthly appointments for mani-pedi and deep tissue massage.
Take care of yourself, woman!
Read: 30 Self-Care Ideas for a Bad Day
4. They are in charge of/responsible for their own happiness
Happiness is a personal responsibility.
Happy women know this, and they rise to the task.
They don’t burden others with the task of their happiness.
They go in search of their own happiness.
While they may have people in their lives who make them happy, happy women understand that happiness is first a choice.
Expectations come with disappointments.
Expecting people to make you happy or be responsible for your happiness is a sure way to set yourself up for disappointment.
You can’t be happy if you live in a constant state of disappointment.
Happy women don’t put others in charge of their happiness.
5. They have hobbies
Women who thrive have hobbies.
Hobbies are activities from which they derive pleasure.
Happy women make judicious use of their leisure time.
They play and do what brings them pleasure because they understand that all work and no fun is not a great way to live.
Aside from the fact that reading is a discipline that should be cultivated by everyone who takes personal development seriously, reading is also my favorite hobby.
Find a hobby that gives you pleasure.
Just have some fun!
It could be watching movies, dancing, drawing, swimming, playing board games, etc.
5. They don’t make happiness a destination
Happy women enjoy where they are on the way to where they are going.
Happiness will elude you if you wait until your circumstances are perfect before you are happy.
Some people think they’ll be happy when they land their dream job, buy their dream house, get married, have kids, buy their dream car, etc.
While getting our heart’s desire fills our hearts with joy, it’s just a matter of time before we’ll start craving some other things as soon as we achieve our goals.
This is because human wants are insatiable, and more importantly, a satisfied need doesn’t have the capacity to motivate‘- Abraham Maslow.
Happy women do not wait until their circumstances are perfect before they are happy.
6. They know when to take a break
We live in a modern world characterized by stress.
According to a study conducted by the Mental Health Foundation, UK, in 2018, “In the past year, 74% of people have felt so stressed they have been overwhelmed or unable to cope.”
Also, according to a report by the American Psychological Association, “Women are more likely than men (28 percent vs. 20 percent) to report having a great deal of stress (8, 9 or 10 on a 10-point scale).”
“Married women report higher levels of stress than single women, with one-third (33 percent) reporting that they have experienced a great deal of stress in the past month (8, 9 or 10 on a 10-point scale) compared with one in five (22 percent) of single women.”
This isn’t surprising, considering the amount of work it takes to have a career and raise a family.
Women who care about their happiness know when to take a break from work (both job and household chores), social media, and whatever unnecessary stressors they encounter.
7. They don’t compare themselves
Comparison is natural.
We compare our looks, our careers, and our relationships to those of others.
Fine.
But constantly comparing ourselves to others is a major source of stress, unhappiness, envy/jealousy, low self-esteem, self-pity, etc.
It’s easy to compare ourselves to others, especially in today’s social media-driven society.
We see the highlight reel of other people’s lives and often compare it to our own behind-the-scenes reality.
But happy women know that everyone has a unique journey and that comparing themselves to others is pointless.
They focus on their own progress and accomplishments rather than constantly measuring themselves against others.
Moreover, they understand that everyone has their struggles and challenges, even if they don’t show it on social media.
So, instead of comparing and feeling bad about themselves, happy women focus on their own strengths and work towards becoming the best version of themselves.
8. Happy women are content
In a world constantly bombarded with advertisements and messages telling us to buy more and do more, it’s easy to fall into the trap of always wanting more.
You shouldn’t be complacent or laid-back, but it’s wisdom to find a balance and be content with what you have.
Happy women understand that true happiness and fulfillment come from within, not from material possessions or achievements.
They are grateful for what they have and don’t constantly chase after the next big thing.
This allows them to enjoy the present moment and appreciate all the blessings in their lives.
They also know that constantly wanting more can lead to a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
So, instead, they focus on being content with what they have while still working towards their goals and dreams.
This doesn’t mean they don’t have goals and ambitions, but they understand that their worth is not defined by their possessions or accomplishments.
9. Happy women maintain good relationships
Relationship is the currency of life.
A major reason we have friends, date, get married, have kids and form communities is for the sake of relationships.
Happy women understand the importance of nurturing and maintaining good relationships in their lives.
They know that these connections bring joy, support, and fulfillment.
I’m so blessed to have a spouse, friends and family that I connect well with.
Keeping in touch with them makes me happy.
10. Happy women stay away from toxic relationships and environment
You can’t be happy if you remain in toxic relationships that zap your energy and joy.
Have you met women who quit toxic relationships?
They are usually happier and look so much better!
I’m not saying your relationship with people, including your partner or spouse, should be a perfect one.
Nope.
Conflicts are usually a part of a healthy relationship; they are inevitable but manageable.
However, you should not be in a relationship that offers nothing but constant negativity and toxicity.
There’s no way your happiness and peace of mind will not suffer for it.
11. They do not live in regret of the past
If any of us could turn back the hands of time, we would make different choices and avoid certain mistakes.
But the past is in the past, and it’s important to learn from it but not dwell on it.
Happy women know that happiness is impossible if they wallow in regrets of the past.
So, they do not deny their pasts; they acknowledge them and learn from them to make better choices.
12. Happy women practice kindness
There’s a joy that fills your heart when you do something for others.
It could be as simple as holding the door for someone, being generous with your smile, buying someone lunch, or giving away things you don’t need.
Helping others is one of the pathways to happiness.
While it’s not realistic to be in a constant state of ecstasy, being happy on most days isn’t unachievable.
These twelve habits are ways to make being a happy woman achievable.
Ana
Tuesday 14th of May 2024
Thank you very much for putting all that together! That is definitely me, I can tick all the points. You put it in just a simple way! I think also that DNA and epigenetic contributes to it.
Thank you!
omoh
Tuesday 29th of June 2021
No 5 really resonates with me, unlike before that all I do is work and I ended up stressed and unhappy, but then I just started learning how to swim, Learnt how to play Monopoly Board Game of recent and the result has been amazing, at least I am not that young Lady that's always angry at the slighest thing people do to me.
Adedoyin Abolade
Wednesday 18th of November 2020
I've always thought I am not a happy woman...
Well, with these points; I think I am a semi-happy woman ???.
It's such a beautiful post.
Mabel
Thursday 19th of November 2020
Lol. At least you are not an unhappy woman.
Ajayi+jumoke
Wednesday 18th of November 2020
Thank you for this write up! Just few days ago, I felt I have much more to be sad than to be happy about but, I don't know where i keep getting the strenght of not wallowing in my pains from. I'm more energized to remain happy regardless after reading.
Mabel
Thursday 19th of November 2020
Awww. I'm so glad you found this post helpful! Honestly, just like you, I wonder how I manage to not to wallow in sadness. But life is all about coping. We must do all we can to stay happy!