What are the things to know about yourself before getting married?
Knowing who you’re getting married to is one thing, knowing yourself well enough is another.
There’s this saying that marriage makes us feel complete, even if we’re messed up as individuals.
Permit me to say that it’s far from the truth.
Marriage is a union of two imperfect people and as such, provides room for more personal growth.
If you felt inadequate before marriage, that feeling won’t leave still after marriage till you do something about it.
Although marriage is a beautiful venture, it should take a back seat when it comes to building yourself.
It’ll interest you to know that when you have a good understanding of both yourself and your partner, your relationship turns out well.
Having said that, let’s take a look at some of the things you should know about yourself before getting married.
5 Things To Know About Yourself Before Getting Married
- Why are you getting married?
Most of us have childhood imaginations of our wedding day.
Now that you’re grown, what’s the motive behind your wanting to get married?
You need to have a clear cut definition of marriage and why you should go into it.
I used to have a friend as a teenager who was so obsessed with wedding gowns.
It seemed odd and funny to me how someone would want to get married because of a wedding dress that would be worn for just a day!
I believe she would have known better now as an adult.
People get married for different reasons—financial security, children, to escape loneliness, to satisfy family and societal expectations, for status etc.
Some people argue that there are no right or wrong reasons to get married and that it’s all about choice.
I’d say whatever your reason is, make sure it’s the same with your partner’s, so you’ll be on the same page.
Also, what are your expectations of marriage?
Be sure you don’t hold unrealistic expectations, otherwise, you’ll find out a little too late that you’re on a wild goose chase.
2. What’s your love language?
Love is expressed and felt in different ways by different people.
You need to understand your special way of receiving and giving love.
It’ll help you appreciate your partner’s show of love and help your partner love you better.
There are five love languages (according to Gary Chapman) and one or two of them will get to you more than the others. They are your love language(s).
This is how you relate your emotional needs to your partner and by so doing, you’re having a better knowledge of yourself too.
3. What are your interests and passions?
Marriage won’t make you complete.
It won’t satisfy all your needs and longings. It can only fill the gap of romantic love and companionship, but that’s just a little part of your life.
Invest time and effort in knowing your interests and passions.
it’ll help you focus more on becoming a better person rather than expecting your marriage to do the magic for you.
People who have defined interests and passions have shown to have happier relationships and marriages over time.
4. What are your emotional triggers?
Emotional triggers stem mostly from ugly events that happened in the past.
You’ll find that you have been upset by what your partner did or said, but you can’t seem to understand why.
You may have also had an argument that led to nowhere and you’re mad at them.
Emotional triggers are often things that open up old wounds and the hurt feels fresh.
You may have been abused, accused, or betrayed in the past. It didn’t go away, it’s just buried somewhere in there.
Then, a situation comes up with your partner and you’re all defensive. Your reaction isn’t about the situation at hand. It’s about the history you have.
Knowing your triggers and sharing them with your partner will help you get better control of yourself when certain situations come up.
Therefore, your emotional triggers are some of the things you must know about yourself before getting married.
5. What’s your relationship with compromise?
There’s always a relationship with a compromise for everyone.
You can be one who’s used to having their way, or you can be the peace-loving one in every situation.
Whichever be the case, know your approach towards compromise and accept it before marriage.
Marriage is all about making compromises and if you’re not ready for that, your marriage will be a living hell.
Know these five important things about yourself before getting married so you’d have a beautiful marital experience.