I’m sure this is not the first time you’ve come across the phrase ”emotional intelligence”.
Emotional intelligence has gained popularity in recent years, and for good reason.
It refers to the ability to understand and manage one’s own emotions and those of others.
E.I. is crucial for successfully navigating life and building strong, meaningful relationships.
I remember saying to a friend four years ago that she needed to work on her emotional intelligence, and she was offended.
She thought it meant that she was being told she wasn’t smart enough.
But E.I. has nothing to do with intelligence in the traditional sense of the word.
It’s about self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication, which she didn’t display.
And these are just a few of the qualities that define an emotionally intelligent woman.
If you’re reading this article, chances are you have some level of emotional intelligence.
But if you need a little confirmation or guidance on how to further develop your E.I., here are signs that you are already an emotionally intelligent woman:
7 Signs You Are an Emotionally Intelligent Woman
1. You’re aware of your emotions.
There’s a difference between feeling emotions and being aware of them.
For instance, do you know it’s possible to be angry and not even realize it?
You can be in love with someone and be the only one who is clueless about it.
But an emotionally intelligent woman is in tune with her emotions, she can recognize them and acknowledge them.
You can tell when you are envious, jealous, or excited because you pay attention to your feelings and what causes them.
How can you manage your emotions if you’re not even aware of them?
Being self-aware is the first step to emotional intelligence.
2. You understand and manage your triggers.
If someone makes a sarcastic comment that usually sets you off, but instead of getting angry, you take a deep breath and respond calmly, that’s emotional intelligence in action!
If a particular topic makes you disproportionately angry, it’s a trigger.
A trigger is an emotional response to something or someone that often stems from past experiences, traumas, or insecurities.
Understanding your triggers means recognizing the situations, words, or actions that evoke a strong emotional response within you.
This isn’t always easy, as it requires deep introspection and honesty with oneself.
This doesn’t mean you won’t feel upset or angry anymore; rather, it means you’ll be in control of how you react.
You can take a step back, breathe, and choose a response that aligns with who you want to be instead of acting in ways you won’t be proud of.
3. You have healthy coping mechanisms.
Life throws challenges our way, and how we cope with these challenges speaks volumes about our emotional intelligence.
Emotionally intelligent women have healthy ways of coping with stress, disappointment, or sadness; they don’t turn to harmful habits like overeating, drinking, or procrastination.
Trust me; it’s easier to drown your sorrows in unhealthy habits, but that’s not the emotionally intelligent thing to do.
We know that doing the right thing isn’t always easy, but the outcome is worth it.
Healthy coping mechanisms can include exercising, journaling, talking to a friend or therapist, and practicing self-care.
Find what works for you and prioritize it.
4. You are empathetic towards others.
One of the hallmark qualities of an emotionally intelligent woman is empathy.
If I wrote twenty signs of an emotionally intelligent woman without including empathy, honestly, I’d have written nothing.
Empathy is the ability to imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes, feel what they are feeling, and understand their perspective, even if you’ve never experienced what they’re going through.
It’s more than just being sympathetic or feeling sorry for someone; it’s being able to truly connect with another person on an emotional level.
Being emotionally intelligent means you consider how your actions and words might affect others.
Let me explain with an example.
Imagine your friend is going through a tough time, and she’s been distant lately.
Instead of getting upset with her for not reaching out to you or accusing her of being a bad friend, an emotionally intelligent woman will try to understand what she’s going through and offer support and understanding.
She realizes that her friend’s actions do not reflect their friendship but rather the struggles she’s facing.
Empathy helps build deeper and more meaningful connections with others, and no relationship, romantic or otherwise, can thrive without it.
Empathy does not mean that you take on everyone else’s problems as your own.
Nah.
It means you are able to put yourself in their shoes and understand their perspective.
5. You handle criticism with grace.
Honestly, nobody likes to be criticized.
Well, I don’t.
We all want to feel like we’re doing a good job and that our efforts are appreciated.
We want others to see the best in us and point out our strengths, not our weaknesses.
But criticism is inevitable; it’s part of life.
Because no one is perfect, and we all have room for improvement.
But the thing is, being criticized is not the point, but you perceive and handle it, and that’s why handling criticism with grace is a symbol of emotional intelligence.
Because not everyone can do that.
An emotionally intelligent woman can take constructive criticism without feeling attacked or becoming defensive.
She listens to the feedback and takes it as an opportunity for growth rather than a personal attack on her character.
She understands that criticism is not a reflection of who she is but rather a way to improve.
Not just that.
An emotionally intelligent woman also knows when to filter out unnecessary criticism, especially if it’s coming from negative or toxic individuals.
She is able to differentiate between constructive feedback and destructive criticism and only takes in the former.
She doesn’t let negative comments bring her down or affect her self-worth because she knows her own value and worth.
Trust me, in this age of cyberbullying and cancel culture, this is a valuable trait to possess.
6. You are self-aware and constantly work on improving yourself.
How well do you know yourself?
Are you aware of your strengths and weaknesses?
An emotionally intelligent woman can confidently answer these questions and is always striving to improve herself.
As an emotionally intelligent woman, you know your strengths.
You know where you shine.
So when people compliment you, you can accept it without feeling uncomfortable or downplaying your achievements.
For example, I know I’m very creative and kind.
So when people mention these, I’m not surprised or doubtful because I know these traits are true to who I am.
But on the other hand, I also know my weaknesses.
I procrastinate a lot, I’m too trusting, I’m too kind to a fault, and I don’t like doing household chores.
And instead of ignoring or denying these weaknesses, an emotionally intelligent woman acknowledges them and actively works to improve herself.
She sees them as opportunities to grow and become a better version of herself.
This constant self-improvement mindset is what sets emotionally intelligent women apart from others.
They are always striving to be the best version of themselves, not for validation or approval from others but for their own personal growth and fulfillment.
In a world where perfection is often expected, an emotionally intelligent woman understands that it’s not about being perfect but about constantly working towards self-improvement.
She knows that mistakes and failures are inevitable, but she uses them as learning experiences rather than letting them define her.
7. You nurture your relationships.
The reason I told my friend (in my introduction) to work on her emotional intelligence was because she was ruining the friendship I had built with her.
I was surprised that she didn’t care about nurturing our friendship and instead focused on her own needs and feelings.
Being emotionally intelligent means understanding the importance of relationships and making an effort to maintain them.
This involves showing appreciation, apologizing when necessary, and putting in the time and effort to strengthen bonds with others.
An emotionally intelligent woman values her relationships and makes them a priority.
She is also able to balance her own needs with the needs of those she cares about, creating a healthy give-and-take dynamic in her relationships.
If you keep sabotaging your relationships and wondering why they don’t last, it may be time to work on your emotional intelligence.
Imagine if you had a superpower that helped you smooth over conflicts, deeply understand your pals, and even ace that job interview because you’re just that in tune with the vibes.
That superpower is emotional intelligence!
Becoming more emotionally intelligent isn’t an overnight thing (I wish!), but it’s definitely a worthwhile pursuit.
The journey of boosting your emotional intelligence is a marathon, not a sprint, and believe me; I’m still working on it too.