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8 Reasons Your Husband Thinks You Don’t Love Him

8 Reasons Your Husband Thinks You Don’t Love Him

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While I understand that people marry for different reasons, I think a lot of women would not marry a man they don’t love.

If you’re not one of the women who married for selfish reasons, I mean you married your husband because you loved him, then it’s sad for him to think that you don’t love him. 

So why would your husband think you don’t love him when, in fact, you do?

8 Reasons Your Husband Thinks You Don’t Love Him

1. You don’t speak his love language 

The book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is one of the greatest books of all time. 

In his book, Chapman talks about the five different ways people receive love: quality time, acts of service, physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation. 

If you don’t speak your husband’s love language, then it’s natural for him to feel that you don’t love him. 

Do you know your husband’s love language?

As humans, we tend to show our partners love the way we want to be loved.

Unfortunately, things don’t work that way. 

For your man to feel loved by you, you have to love him in a way that is meaningful to him.

So, if you have not been doing that, then you won’t feel loved by you. 

Maybe, for instance, receiving gifts is the way you feel loved but your husband feels loved by words of affirmation.

You know, saying things like,

”Oh, you’re the best husband ever.”

”I’m so glad I married you.”

”You’ve been a great father to our kids.”

”I appreciate everything you’ve been doing for our family.”

”I love my life with you.”

”You are so smart/intelligent.”

”You look so handsome today!”

But instead of expressing your love to him through your words, you buy him gifts as a way of expressing your love.

Because you love gifts, you are loving him the way you feel loved, and that’s why he thinks you don’t love him.


2. You compare him to others 

Reasons Your Husband Thinks You Don't Love Him

I don’t think there’s anyone on the planet who lost being compared to others, and your husband is no different. 

When you compare him to others in terms of his job, looks, personality, salary, etc., it can make him feel like he’s not good enough for you.

Comparing your partner to someone else can really damage relationships because it implies that the person has something or qualities that are better than theirs.

Yes, your husband is not perfect, and there are things he can probably work on, but comparing him to others is not the best way to bring the best out of him.

So, if you have a habit of comparing him to others, don’t blame him for thinking you don’t love him.

If you do, you’ll be satisfied by him while encouraging him to be the best version of himself.


3. You don’t like being sexually Intimate with him

Reasons Your Husband Thinks You Don't Love Him

An average healthy man loves sex.

In fact, it’s one of the ways a man expresses love for his wife.

If you don’t feel an inclination to be sexually intimate with your husband, it could cause him to think that you don’t really love him.

No matter how much he loves you or how important being together is, if there’s no physical connection, he may start to question your feelings toward him.

You don’t initiate sex, even when you make love, it’s like it’s out of pity, obligation, or like you’re doing him a favor.

I understand that there may be other reasons for this, such as hormonal imbalances, stress, or past traumas.

But you really must make an effort to make sure you’re both getting the physical connection for your marriage to thrive.

Because I don’t see how you’ll convince your husband that you love him if you don’t show him that love in the way he craves it – through physical intimacy.


4. You don’t appreciate him

A lot of men actually feel unappreciated by their wives, and I agree that most of us women take our husbands for granted.

We don’t take the time to thank them for all that they do or even compliment them on a job well done.

But when they don’t do what we want or expect from them, we can nag them to no end.

How do you expect your husband to feel loved by you if you don’t acknowledge or appreciate him for the things he does?

If your husband thinks you don’t love him, it might be because you don’t show him that appreciation.


5. You don’t prioritize spending quality time together

Reasons Your Husband Thinks You Don't Love Him

In today’s overscheduled world,  it’s easy to let quality time with your partner slip away.

I understand that there is so much to do that you have little or no time for yourself, let alone for your husband.

But if you never make the effort to spend time with him just because it isn’t convenient, he will feel like you don’t care enough about him to prioritize spending time with him.

This is especially true if you spend all your free time with the kids, your friends, or huh, on social media!


6. You don’t listen to him or take his feelings into account

I remember a certain day I was complaining bitterly to my husband about something that he had done wrong that hurt my feelings. 

His response was to tell me that I don’t listen and take his feelings into account as well.

He said he also has feelings.

That really made me think.

I know we’ve been made to believe that women are emotional while men are logical, and this can make us relate to our husbands like robots without feelings. 

We need to be mindful of the fact that they, too, can become hurt and emotional.

So, if you haven’t been listening to your husband and taking his feelings into consideration, he’s likely to feel you don’t love him, even if you know in your heart that you do.

He can’t see your heart; only God can.

Your husband can only know you love him through your actions toward him.

So, if you want your husband to feel loved, try to listen more and be sensitive to his emotional needs. 


6. You don’t show genuine interest in his life/work

A lot of women don’t know anything about their husband’s work or business.

All they care about is that he brings home the money and takes care of them or fulfills his financial obligations.

You don’t need to know the nitty-gritty of his work.

But showing that you care by asking him and listening can go a long way to making him feel loved. 

How about asking about his day?

Do you really care?

Do you ever ask him if he’s happy?

Do you ask him about his goals?

Do you ask him if he enjoys his hobbies?

Have you ever asked him what he wants from life?

Showing genuine interest in your husband’s life and work or business will definitely make you feel that you care about him.

You know, it’s easy to assume we know everything about our partner’s life just because we are married to them. 

But sometimes, if we don’t ask them about some specific things, we will not know. 

Your husband thinks you don’t love him because you’ve been acting like his life, business, or work is his business, and you’re only concerned about your marriage. 


7. You don’t respect him

Reasons Your Husband Thinks You Don't Love Him

For most men, respect is love.

You can’t disrespect your husband and claim that you love him. 

If you haven’t been respecting him, if you talk him down on him, you disregard his feelings, you don’t honor him, you don’t seek his opinion, you talk to him as if he’s a child; how exactly do you expect him not to think that you don’t love him? 

No matter the acts of love you do, your lack of respect will always override your actions. 


8. You are not affectionate

Men need affection just as much as women do. 

Affection is like water for love; it keeps it thriving and blooming.

There is more to affection than physical intimacy, aka sex.

It is the little things like warm hugs for no reason, compliments, holding hands while walking, kisses, strokes, cuddles, gentle touch as you pass by each other in the kitchen, and sweet words that come from the heart. 

If these little tokens of affection start to fade away, your husband might begin to feel like a plant left in the sun too long: parched and overlooked.

He might wonder, “Does she still love me the way she used to?”

So, it’s not necessarily about grand gestures or dramatic declarations of love that make your man feel loved.

It’s the day-to-day, consistent warmth that says, “You’re important to me,” without words.

As a wife and mom, I understand life can get crazy, and stress can make us forget to stop and give that peck on the cheek. 

But we’ll keep trying, and that’s the purpose of this post: to encourage us to keep trying.

Really, if you want to know why your husband thinks you don’t love him, just ask him.

Keep an open mind, and don’t try to defend yourself.

Remember the point about listening?

It may be hard to hear, but it’s the only real way to find out what he needs from you. 


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