Girl meets boy, girl, and boy are attracted to each other and start “dating.”
Things get fun and exciting and girl gets emotionally invested.
Late-night calls, deep passionate sex, fun and exciting dates.
But then, like smoke, everything fizzles out in the twinkling of an eye.
Boy ghosts girl and moves on with his life, and everything they ever shared becomes only a memory.
It was only a fling and because flings were not meant to last, it didn’t last.
A fling is not necessarily a good relationship but it works if that is what both parties want.
If a guy is making advances towards you and you suspect that he only wants a fling and not an actual relationship, it is important that you confirm.
Certain signs will be present to help you identify that he only wants a fling with you.
I’m here to open your eyes to those signs so you can make the right decision for yourself.
8 Unquestionable Signs He Only Wants A Fling With You
1. He’s very superficial
You can tell a guy only wants a fling with you by how deep he’s willing to go with you.
And no, I don’t mean that in a sexual way.
I mean in your interactions and general relationship, how does he relate with you, and how open is he?
If he always seems to talk about only general stuff and never discusses his personal life or the actual things that matter to you, that’s something to raise your brows at.
Someone looking to build a relationship with you will create an emotional bond with you.
It may be gradual, but the progress will be visible.
They won’t be all about your body alone and getting down with you.
If this man only focuses on getting down with you then he probably just wants a fling.
It would do you a world of good to recognize that early.
2. Everything is in the present tense
If he’s constantly speaking about all you can get up to in the present, that’s fun and exciting.
But where does that leave the future?
Does he ever mention it?
A good way to quickly recognize a fling is that they only focus on the present with you.
No talks about the future at all.
His conversations with you are filled with a lot of “let us see how it goes'”
Or they may try to entice you with little talks about beautiful future plans that they have for you, especially if they notice that that’s your thing.
If that’s the case, you will require other tactics and careful observation to find them out.
“Live in the moment” is great advice, but it doesn’t apply if someone is trying to build an actual relationship with you.
Their conversations will tell you that they’re here for a long time and not just a good time.
3. He tells you
You may not even have to do all the mental gymnastics because while you’re still wondering what he’s in your life for, he may come out and tell you.
He’s not the first and won’t be the last guy to tell a lady he’s only there for a fling.
This is a wise and respectful thing to do.
It gives you the power of choice to decide if you want to be in that situation or not.
But a guy who doesn’t tell you deceives you and robs you of the power of choice.
If that’s the place you’re in and he hasn’t told you verbally yet, but his actions somehow imply it, then girl, you need to keep reading this so you can know all the signs.
4. No families allowed
Meeting families?
With a guy who’s only there for a fling, that’s taking things way too far!
You’re not likely to meet his close friends or family members.
And he won’t display any form of enthusiasm to meet yours either.
Meeting each other’s family and friends can be a major sign of commitment and seriousness, and that’s not what he’s there for.
So he’ll just keep things casual and peripheral between you both.
5. Zero curiosity
A man who wants to be with you long-term will display some level of curiosity about your life.
He’ll want to know more about your life, career, family, and plans.
He wants to be in the picture, so he’ll ask you questions to see how he can fit it.
But things are different with Mr. ‘Situationship‘; he doesn’t care much about your life, so he doesn’t ask questions.
He’s not about to get deeply involved with your life.
6. Last minute plans
With a fling most times, there are no solid concrete plans.
It’s always just vibes.
He hits you up at the last minute to let you know he’s coming over or to ask you to come over.
Proper well-planned dates rarely happen between you two.
He may hide under the guise of trying to be spontaneous and make the relationship fun.
It’s your responsibility to wake up and smell the coffee.
Maybe he’s always making last-minute plans because you’re not an actual part of his life.
It’s just a casual affair.
7. You can not rely on him
If he’s never available for you, never prioritizes you, and isn’t trustworthy then he’s probably with you for a fling.
This is because flings aren’t serious relationships; someone who only wants a fling will not put in one hundred percent effort into the relationship.
So don’t be surprised when you need him but he can’t be there for you.
He’s unreliable, and while you try to make excuses for him, you know that he’s really not committed.
The possibility exists that he only wants a fling with you.
8. He avoids talking about the relationship
If a man is being evasive and running away from discussing what you both share, that’s something to be concerned about.
If he hasn’t come out to verbally express his interest in getting into a proper relationship with you, and you always have to ask him, “What are we?” you should know what you are by now.
You are just his fling partner.
Even though he may not have told you this expressly, his avoidance of every conversation that has to do with your relationship already spells it out.
If he’s always saying, “We’ll talk about that some other time,” when you ask questions about the relationship, that could mean he’s only here for a fling.
Guys like this are masters at avoiding serious conversations, especially questions about the future.
They talk about many things with you, but when you begin to tilt the conversation towards getting serious about things, they disappear.
As much as knowing and identifying the signs that he wants a fling with you is super important, it is only the first step.
The most important step is what you do with that information.
Now that you know that these are his intentions, what next?
It is important to establish what your vision for your life is.
What kind of relationship do you envision yourself in and does this look like it?
Showing up as your highest self requires identifying situations and people that are not what you want and waving them goodbye.