Who doesn’t want to be loved the way Maya described?
In a world where it seems like crappy relationships are the order of the day, many of us have been blinded to the presence of the good guys out there.
Maybe the issue is that most relationships are on a surface level, and while the singles mingle, there is no sense of value for the said love of their lives.
Dear reader, ‘breakfast’ (heartbreak) is not a national cake regardless of what Burna Boy said in his song “Last Last.”
When you experience love with the right person, it is devoid of the painful heartbreaks you may have come to expect in relationships.
The right guy who values you is out there waiting for you, and you just need some help recognizing the signs.
Let’s go over the signs together!
8 Obvious Signs You Mean A Lot To Him
1. He Says It, And His Actions Match
Yes, words matter.
I don’t care what anyone says about “actions speak louder than words.”
You need both.
A man who values you tells you regularly, not just when he wants something.
“I love you.”
“I appreciate you.”
“I’m lucky to have you.”
”I can’t imagine my life without you.” Because he can’t.
And his actions match his words.
Because talk is cheap, any man can say “I love you” while treating you like trash.
But for a man who means that, his words and his actions are in harmony.
He says he loves you, and he shows up when you need him.
He says he values you, and he treats you like you’re valuable.
Words without action is manipulation.
Both together?
That’s when you know you mean something.
If your man tells you he loves you but his behavior says otherwise, believe his behavior.
Always.
2. He Includes You In His Future, Not Just His Present
Men who see you as temporary don’t include you in their future plans.
Because you’re just here for now, for this season, until something changes.
A man who values you can’t imagine a future without you in it.
That’s why he makes plans that include you because he’s building toward a life that has you in it.
He’s thinking long-term, not just right now.
3. He Listens to You
Most people don’t listen.
They just wait for their turn to speak.
If you mean a lot to a man, he’ll hear you.
You tell him something once, and he remembers, not because he has exceptional memory, but because you matter to him, so what you say matters.
And he asks follow-up questions because he’s curious about your life and wants to know your thoughts, your feelings, your opinions.
He doesn’t dismiss what you say or make everything about him.
He’s present when you’re talking, not on his phone, not distracted, and not just nodding along while thinking about something else.
PRESENT.
If your man can’t remember basic things you’ve told him multiple times, if he’s always distracted when you talk, if he constantly interrupts or dismisses what you say, you don’t mean much to him.
You don’t need me or a prophet to tell you that.
4. He Supports Your Dreams
This is where you separate men who value you from men who use you.
A man who values you wants you to succeed and achieve your dreams.
Even if your success doesn’t directly benefit him or it means you’ll be busier.
He’s your biggest cheerleader because he genuinely wants you to be happy and fulfilled, not because your wins make him look good.
You’ll see him motivate you when you’re doubting yourself and celebrate your wins like they’re his own.
He pushes you to be better because he knows you’re capable of more.
Your dreams will threaten a man who doesn’t value you.
Your success makes him insecure, and your ambition makes him feel inadequate.
You don’t mean anything to a man who supports you only when your success benefits him; you’re just useful to him.
5. He Makes Time, Not Excuses
We make time for what’s important and make excuses for what’s not.
Simple as that.
A man who values you makes time for you, not just when it’s convenient or has nothing better to do.
Because you’re not an option to him, you’re a priority.
And yes, life gets busy.
Work happens and responsibilities exist.
But busy men still make time for women they value.
They just do.
They find a way.
The man who doesn’t have time for you has time.
He’s just not spending it on you.
And that tells you everything you need to know about where you rank in his life.
6. He Apologizes When He is Wrong
Ego is the death of relationships.
And most men have egos the size of Africa.
They’ll do anything to avoid admitting they’re wrong.
They’ll deflect, blame, make excuses, rewrite history, anything but simply say “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
But a man who values you swallows his pride because he values the relationship more than he values being right.
When he messes up, he owns it.
No excuses.
And then he actually does better.
Because an apology without change is just manipulation.
7. He Makes You Feel Safe
Physical protection is easy.
Most men will physically protect most women.
That’s basic decency.
But emotional safety is rare.
A man who values you creates emotional safety.
You can be vulnerable with him without fear of judgment and express your feelings without him dismissing them.
You can be your messy, imperfect self and he doesn’t punish you for it.
He doesn’t weaponize what you’ve shared with him or make you feel stupid for having feelings.
He protects your peace, doesn’t create unnecessary drama or stress you out with lies and games,.
You feel safe with him.
That’s when you know you mean something.
8. He Shows Up In The Hard Times
Anyone can be there when things are good.
When you’re happy, easy to love and loving you doesn’t require sacrifice or discomfort.
But the hard times is when you see who actually values you.
A man who values you shows up when:
- You’re sick
- You’re struggling
- You’re not your best self
- You’re stressed and difficult
- You need him and it’s inconvenient
- Loving you requires work
He doesn’t disappear when things get hard or pull away when you’re not fun to be around.
If your man is only around when things are good and disappears when you actually need him, you’re entertainment to him, not a partner.
These signs aren’t things you should beg for.
They’re not things you should have to teach a grown man to do.
They’re the baseline of how a man who values you behaves.
If you’re in a relationship and checking off these signs thinking “he does maybe 2 out of 8”, sis, he doesn’t value you.
He’s with you, but you don’t mean something to him.
And I know that’s hard to hear, especially if you’ve invested time and energy into this relationship.
But staying with someone who doesn’t value you isn’t going to suddenly make them value you.
You can’t love someone into valuing you.
Either they see your worth or they don’t.
And their behavior shows you which one it is.
Khaleesha Mummery
Thursday 4th of September 2025
Believe me he is out there and this article really sums up the LEGEND MAN OF MINE I gave up and bam it happened so keep dreaming as dreams can come true 🩷🩵
Mavis
Sunday 2nd of February 2025
This is really helpful ND eye opening. I m really empowered