Friendship is one of the most beautiful things in life. As social animals, we always want to connect with people and form (lasting) friendships wherever we find ourselves. Living in isolation does no good to our social and emotional health.
I don’t have a lot of friends even though social media has gifted me with thousands of ‘friends’ and followers, of which I’m grateful for. I’ve formed lasting friendship with some of these ‘friends’ that I have come to truly love and value.
Friends (good) make the world go round. They (should) share our pains and our joys.
However, as much as friendship is crucial to a happy existence, not every ‘friend’ should be called a friend. Friends can either make or mar you.
Believe me, I’ve had my own share of betrayals from people I called friends. And I’ve also enjoyed immense love and support from true friends as well.
So, I’m learning to define my friends and put them where they belong because there are some friends that you shouldn’t keep close to you.
I’ll share with you friends you shouldn’t have in your life:
12 Friends You Shouldn’t Have in Your Life
These ones are always after what they can benefit from you especially if you have what they do not have or have enough of. It could be money, information or connection.
The only time they remember you exist is when they need something from you or when they want you to do something for them.
In fact, some may even be close to you but it’s all because of they can get from you.
These ones are always taking from you and never giving back.
I’m not saying friends cannot enjoy the benefits we can offer them, but it shouldn’t be one-sided. Even if you’re doing more, they should also be doing something for you in return.
But those friends who do not care about you one bit but are always quick to call your number when there’s a need for you to meet, you should call them something else but friends.
These ones are always competing with you with or without your knowledge, especially if you’re doing better than them.
They want the same things you want or want to have the same things you have.
They want your kind of job, house, influence, holiday destinations, style, business etc.
I’m not saying we cannot desire what our friends have or that we can’t be challenged by our friends to do better in life, but it shouldn’t be out of envy or resentment.
Being friends with someone doesn’t mean you should lose your individuality. You can be influenced of course, but not totally in a way that nothing differentiates you from your friend.
The ones who refrain from telling you the truth
I know friends should be our cheerleaders, encouraging us to be better, they should care about our happiness but good friends should also call us to order when we are going the wrong way.
Friends shouldn’t cheer us into the ditch because they don’t want to hurt our feelings. They should tell us the truth no matter how hard, so far it’s for our good.
If you have a friend who not only cares about you but also cares enough to tell you hard truths even if you don’t want to hear it, don’t let such go.
We’ll always know if they’re doing it from the place of love or something else.
The ones who remind you of your past errors
While friends should tell us hard truths, they shouldn’t constantly bring up the past errors that we are trying to bury.
A friend who always haunt you with your mistakes isn’t a true friend.
The ones who are never truly happy for you
Friends should share in our happiness and celebrate joyful moments with us. If you have a friend that’s never genuinely happy for you, please, keep them away from you. They are dangerous species. They are full of envy and hate.
You can always know a friend that is genuinely happy for you through their facial expressions, their words, their actions, and your gut feeling.
And if you are a Christian, the discerning spirit is a sure way to know.
The ones who are never there when you need them
Friends should be our pillars of support when we are weak or in need. If your friends are always MIA when you need them, then you need to review your friendship.
They’re never available, never there for you, but you’re always there for them.
The ones who hoard information from you
Friends can help you to progress in life in ways you can never imagine. Information is crucial to progress.
You’re where you are today because of the information you had access to and utilized.
And the only thing between where you are now and where you want to be is information.
If your friends keep away from you information that can better your life, please keep them at arm’s length. They’re not your friends. True friends are interested in your progress.
The ones who influence you to engage in bad habits
If the friends you keep always make you to do things you don’t want to do or things you want to do less of, stay away from them.
Good friends should have a good influence on you, they should have a positive impact on your life. Ask yourself what impact your friends have on you. What contribution are they making in your life?
The ones who cannot keep your secret(s)
Friends protect and defend us when we mess up. They sometimes even clean up our mess. This they do without broadcasting it to the public.
Friends keep your secrets and never share them with a soul. True friends are faithful. They can be trusted with your deepest secrets.
Don’t make someone who cannot keep your secrets your friend.
The ones who team up with your ‘enemies’ when the going isn’t good
Conflict is inevitable in every human relationship, friendship inclusive. A true friend is not one with whom you never quarrel, he’s one who still loves and cares for you even when the going isn’t good between you two.
If your friends team up with people who aren’t cool with you just to get back at you, then they were never your friends.
The ones who are not loyal
Loyalty is a great symbol of friendship. True friends are loyal to you no matter what. They are ever for you. They stick with you no matter the situation. They do not sit on the fence. They are with you for real.
True friends will never betray you because they are loyal.
Those who are ashamed of you
True friends are proud to be associated with you. They are not ashamed to be identified with you even if you are not the most beautiful, the richest, famous, or whatever it is people like to show off their friends for.
True friends love you for who you are and not for what you have.
While it’s good to stay away from these types of friends, you need to ask yourself if you’re not any of these types of friends to your friends as well.